To be tempted to pull a sickie?

[ofthelandandsea]

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

Many (most?) schools do allow some term time absences for staff. Certainly all the teachers I know among my friends and family have been able to attend their own children's events. Not all of them - a bit like regular office workers.

I was wiling to take annual leave for events within my working hours, but couldn't go to all the them because it ate into my leave too much, leaving me struggling during school holidays.

Give it a rest!!!! You must be one of those brainwashed fools who give their sole to a job. How very sad for you. People have lives, work isn’t the be all and end all I’m afraid.

I would go back and ask for the time off again. They don't need to know what for. Surely ?

Well, they do, but it doesn’t matter, they won’t authorise it.

Lmao that’s not even nearly true 😂

Or a selfish fool who has no responsibility to her place of work that she is paid a wage for.
What if we all did it whenever we feel like it - jeez!!

I’m a teacher I missed loads of my kids stuff, so did H - our kids are not damaged in any way!
Yes it’s sad to miss stuff but I have a responsibility to the kids in my classes and my poor colleagues who would have to cover for me in their ‘free’ lessons!!
Entitled - moi!!

Ah there it is. You’re a teacher who missed loads of your own kids things. You’re bitter because you gave yourself to a job who has zero loyalty to you as an individual instead of going to see your children’s plays. Bet you have no regrets!! 🙄 just because you chose to be miserable why should she. You’ll never ever get this special moments back which is why you’re angry you missed out. Fact.

My school would absolutely find a way to let me go to this, especially in PPA.

And I cannot believe they don't let you have medical appointments. That's also a no questions asked allowed with us.

Take the day, you're unwell, if anyone does see you then you felt better by the afternoon.

Multiple studies show lack of flexibility is what's driving women in their 30s away from teaching, not actually the pay. Why would anyone stick in the job after having kids if all their mates are wfh and doing the school run and they can't even make a nativity?

@Horses7 just FYI, teachers haven’t had to cover for absent colleagues since 2003.

What an awful environment to work in. Don't they have a duty of care towards their staff?
What is their retention like? Do staff feel valued?

It makes me so sad that you even have to ask this question, especially with it only being PPA that you'd miss. This is where schools shoot themselves in the foot not allowing levels of flexibility (within reason, of course) or Wellbeing Days.

Take the time off and be there for your daughter!

Fellow teacher here and I hate your school.

If I were in your shoes, I would feel so torn too - the best option would be to take a mental health day because seeing your child in their performance would benefit your mental health.

Our PPA can be taken at school or home, no-one is fussed. We are also able to request time for situations such as this and I’ve never known it not be granted.

I’m currently on mat leave and although there are many things at my current school that frustrate me, I wouldn’t want to move and risk ending up in a situation like yours.

A few years back we actually had a parent who taught at another school who took a sick day to come and see his child’s first sports day. Our schools shared a sports coach and he was on site for our sports day - he was sworn to secrecy by us.

Well aren't you the hero?

My partner's Dad was a teacher and, although he has never spoken to him about this, he spent much of his childhood feeling second place to the kids at school. My best friend felt the same with a teacher Mum. What's to say your children don't feel the same but have never openly expressed this?

I vowed I would never let my children feel like this and if that means taking a day off school "sick" then so be it. Family and wellbeing comes first.

OP some of these responses are hilarious, call in sick, go to the play, no one will see you and if they do? You were ill, prove otherwise. Who’s going to see you to tell on you except someone else who shouldn’t be there? When DD did her Mother’s Day assembly in reception I knew from looking at the leave calendar it wouldn’t be authorised, so I didn’t even ask because then it’d be very obvious if I was declined then called in sick anyway. I even said to a colleague (we got on VERY well and I still speak to her now 10 years later) that if she had a Mother’s Day assembly maybe we should be ill with the same thing?

These people saying it’s gross misconduct, all the injustice in this country with the government and whatnot and people think you should be a martyr, you think a school has the resource to try and accuse you of gross misconduct because of one day off sick?

Being regarded as unprofessional because you value your child over some randomers children who let’s face it are probably immensely disrespectful a lot of the time, did none of you go to/remember public secondary school? And if you dropped down dead tomorrow they’d replace you before your family had chance to plan the funeral. As pp said somewhere I’m sure I’ll be on my deathbed regretting the minuscule amount of sick days I took when I could have dragged myself in or when I valued my family over my job.

As for people insisting this is the “path you chose” or “your calling” if it was/is then I’m sorry you’ve been let down by your employers when you pursued something you were passionate about. But to use myself as an example, I work in a job I got in my very early 20’s and worked hard and worked my way up because I wanted to save a deposit for a house and then because I needed to support my daughter and then I needed to pay a mortgage as a single parent. None of it had anything to do with choosing a career. I would love to “find another, more flexible job” but guess what it’s not that simple. And if you found another school who would allow it then it doesn’t help you now. Get how you can’t take “special days” all the time but I think this genuinely is a special day and one you aren’t gong to get back.

My kids are great thanks and they work too and to my knowledge have never pulled a sickie for a school play. We have a wonderful relationship and they both moved nearby after university so we can’t have been awful parents. They are brilliant parents btw.
Oh and I hope they think I’m a hero - job done!

Terrible 🤣

We have brought it up as a staff body on the endless staff surveys - it’s been pointed out it has a detrimental impact on staff attendance because if you think you might have to leave in the day, no one risks it and just takes the day off, but nothing changes.

I have thought about leaving but the thought of starting again somewhere else just seems like so much bother, and applying and interviews …

I’m thinking that your children were at school when teachers didn’t have the pressures they do now, not leaving until late, having to work evenings and weekends just to keep on top of the job. I’m sure you had lots of time out of school hours to spend with them so missing performances probably wasn’t as much of a disappointment for you.

Actually, thinking about it, I think rarely cover was later. The 24 tasks teachers don’t have to do was definitely 2003 but rarely cover might have been circa 2008. It’s definitely been a long time since teachers had to cover for an absent colleague, though.

You sound like my mother, she is deluded enough to insist we have a wonderful relationship despite missing stuff and not being present when I was a kid, or being supportive of me as an adult either for that matter 😂

I also live pretty close to her, but her being close is way down on my list of reasons as to why I live there

Of course it’s a disappointment but it was offset by me not disappointing a load of other people’s kids and also my overworked colleagues who could well be missing their kids school play whilst covering missing teacher’s classes.
Btw if school can’t cover classes because everyone’s pulling sickies they have to send kids home or close school - imagine the complaints for that.
Yes the primary school is at fault for not doing evening plays and OPs school does sound draconian but that’s the cards dealt.

If you get caught you are going to get sacked. I'm a teacher and my school provides cover for these things so I understand they're being completely unreasonable. But it's gross misconduct. Ask if you can take the last session of the day unpaid.

Take it!

I must say, I'm surprised you have a wonderful relationship with them; it must be difficult to hold conversations from the top of your high horse!

I think with the quibbles about how children feel and so on … we just can’t know, is the blunt truth of that. All we can do is what feels best at the time. I accept I might have to miss some stuff, although I’ll stay part time so I can see some of it, and DH will be able to see some too of course. This one is special, though.

They are only little for such a short time... Do it!!!
You will not be the only one doing this.
Your child will notice you missing more than your workplace.