To be tempted to pull a sickie?

[ofthelandandsea]

And yes it’s morally reprehensible but …

Work in a school, so can’t take annual leave or anything like that, and it’s my DDs first school play Friday.

My school won’t let you have time off for anything like that; they just won’t, it’s just no, no, no. It’s similar if a teacher needs to leave the site during the day, you just can’t get out.

I really am tempted to say sod it and say I’m unwell.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you really do get ill now from worrying about it.

The irony is that if I was genuinely ill I’d probably go in anyway because I CBA setting cover!

48 hour doesn’t count for teachers. It was only followed for kitchen staff where I worked and HR were still unhappy about it but had no choice.
i think paying for supply is offset by the number of times teachers come in sick normally and save schools money.

I totally support you wanting to see your child, and I used to work in a school so I get it.

But I do feel the school would be angry.

48 hrs at my school.

Well if everyone took a ‘special’ day off what would happen?
You have a term time contract which many would love to have. The downside is you can’t choose your annual leave. But you know that.
Pulling a sickie is dishonest. Why not ask if you can do ppa at home and just juggle your time?

Had a woman teacher who was a very poor attender, said we couldn't do anything about it! She went off sick one Friday morning. She gave us this oh woe me tale had to get to doctors so ill, blah blah ... we presented her with the evidence that she wasnt ill and she was away with friends for the weekend.

We accepted her resignation with pleasure.

Be careful, telling lies can come back to haunt you.

These posts do confuse me.

If people want a term time contract, train as a teacher or a TA 🤷‍♀️

We need ‘em.

I went to school in England - by December in Secondary we had finished coursework, were attending Carol concerts, practising for Xmas show and either doing revision classes (which involved reading over exam questions) or past paper practice. We certainly weren't starting any new topics in the run up to Christmas!

Wouldn't say English system is fuller and going through the English system I prefer my children to go through the Scottish system - it's wider on subjects, less early specialism which cuts teenagers out of career paths and they start school between 4.5 and 5.5-6

Scottish secondary - many are doing recaps/revision classes.

Scottish primary - my child is rehearsing for a Christmas concert, making decorations and interspersed with phonics, maths, French, reading. But it's all cementing previous done topics/sounds/words/maths. They don't start new areas - either kids are hyper in Christmas lead up or so many are off sick.

Regard away. I really don’t care

No I wouldn’t.

If you want mid-term flexibility, leave teaching.

No tips here on how to fake illness (how embarrassing) but my advice for missing events is: first, try to recruit another adult to be there for your child. Second, if you can't, be honest with your child upfront so they know not to expect you. Let them know you'll want a full report with dramatic reenactment afterwards. Mine are now so well-adapted and secure that they tell me not to attend their school events. Teens eh

The thing is op, you never know who what or how that 1% chance you might get caught.

I’m retired but did have a term time contract. I didn’t pull a sickie if I wanted time off during the term.
If you want term time flexibility why not do supply teaching or something different.

Come on, there’s a huge difference between a quick trip out to buy food or pick the kids up (which yes many people do have to do) and attending a nativity.

If the school did find out and decided to discipline you for misconduct, their evidence would be that you were fine the day before and you seemed well enough to go to a nativity. Your evidence would be… your word. And you’ve got to admit that the timing is hugely suspicious.

Plus even if you survived a disciplinary or appealed it and won, you’d have burnt your bridges in terms of trust so you’d probably need to look for a new job anyway.

I’m not saying this is the most likely scenario, just a risk you shouldn’t dismiss.

Plus you haven’t answered the question- is there really no one else who can attend (dad, grandparents etc). If someone else can go your DD will be fine- you’d be doing this for yourself so at least own that part.

I think if you want term time flexibility you should consider doing supply teaching for a period where you can pick and choose your days.

I work for a teaching union, and I have done casework for people who have lied about sick days for similar. You could be sacked for gross misconduct.

obviously it’s your decision. I was also a teacher when mine were little and it was hard.

I understand your position @ofthelandandsea but sadly this is the nature of the beast from now on. You aren't going to be able to call in sick for all the shows / assemblies / meet and greets / sports days etc so where does it stop?

I get you want to see your DD's first Christmas play, but then in July when she has her reception graduation I am sure you'll want to be there and you wont want to miss her her first sports day!!

It is awful and I feel that essentially telling you to "suck it up" is being grossly insensitive but maybe it's time to make peace with it? Going to this play or not isn't going to change the fact you need a back up for future events.

Who would go if you weren't able to make it?

No one else can go, no. But that’s not really relevant to what I’m asking, tbh.

You are defensive because people are warning you.

If you don't want opinions, I wouldn't post in AIBU.

I don’t think I’ve been defensive but apologies if that’s how it has come across. I’ve been multi tasking a fair bit today!

You are defensive and entitled - how can you not see having a full day off for a short play is wrong wrong wrong. What if everyone had your attitude to not putting in a days work (which you are getting paid for?).

@Horses7 , I’m really not. I actually hate being in this position as I feel that whatever I do will be wrong.

It doesn’t matter how much you offer - and I’ve gone in during school holidays for intervention (unpaid) and after school, went in during OFSTED even though it wasn’t my working days, and so on, I know the school won’t give that back - without wanting to sound soppy it isn’t the kids’ or my departments fault that the school is so ridiculous.

But because we all know it’s ridiculous it’s a bit of an unwritten acknowledgment in our place. Staff phone in sick when their children are ‘hit and miss’; you know where your child isn’t 100% but might be OK, but the chances of getting a phone call are high. And when that happens, we take the day off. We all do it because we know once we’re in, we’re not getting out again.

This isn’t one of those times but it is one where the school have to be honest made their own issues with such a rigid and ridiculous approach.

Ok in that case I would agree with either another parent or a teacher that they are going to be her special person watching that day and that they will give a full report back to you and make sure they wave, give eye contact etc. Schools do deal with this very sensitively and if there is more than one performance then it’s not like everyone else will have someone there other than her. Then make a real fuss of her later. Is the school taking a video or anything like that?

As others have said I think you need to make a conscious decision about how important these things are to you and then get a job which fits with that. And also bear in mind that if your work does find out and throw the book at you, no amount of making memories is going to pay the mortgage or rent, especially if you’ve not got family support close to you.

The question of whether someone else can go is relevant as where I have friends who are teachers and in a similar position, having family support who can attend these things is invaluable (and bear in mind there are 1000s- I’ve got at least 5 things in school over the next 2 weeks- so you need a workable long term solution).

Defo do it!!