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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel harassed by the school over attendance ?

29 replies

Lollybollylolly · 01/12/2025 22:06

In the past week, I've had numerous phone calls, text messages, an attempted home visit, emails, a meeting about my daughter's attendance. My DD. Had had 8 days off, mainly with a stomach bug, cold, severe period pain. The don't seem to take this seriously , even though I've got evidence of dorciys appointments.

The icing on the cake is an email today telling me as she has been late 8 times, I e going to get text messages at 7.30sm telling.e to wake her up. And if that doesn't work I'll get phone calls at 7.45am . It's harassmentt!!

I get my kids up early and dressed etc and head off to work by 9. My daughter has some slight school refusal so it's not a kit not getting up, it's far more complex .

Why are they treating me like a child or some mum that sleeps in, only gets up for the morning show and doesn't care when her kids get up. It's ridiculous. It's offensive. I work with children in a professional job so don't take kindly to all this treating me like I'm the problem.

I want to complain. Where can I complain to,m the level of harassment is affecting my mental health

OP posts:
Strictlycomeparent · 01/12/2025 22:48

I would make a formal complaint and state you consider these to be nuisance calls and will be seeking legal advice if they continue.

LottieMary · 01/12/2025 22:52

You work with mentally ill children?!

whattheysay · 01/12/2025 22:56

Lostthefairytale · 01/12/2025 22:36

I work with children with school based anxiety and I have one myself. The government, and therefore education policy, seems think there is only one reason for low attendance which is kids who don't like school and their parents who can't be bothered to get them there. The reality is very different, which anyone who has actually dealt with the problem first hand knows.

My advice would be to request meeting and make sure they know exactly what is going on. Explain the lateness and whenever she is late email to explain why. There will be multiple families in the same situation and they need to know that you are doing what you can.

This is very true. School anxiety and refusal isn’t seen by the majority of schools to be an actual condition and children are treated as if they are bunking off and parents don’t care and are lying in bed all day.

Although to be fair dds school wasn’t too bad even though they didn’t have a clue how to handle it but her attendance automatically triggered the involvement of the education welfare officers which was actually the best thing for us because she was very understanding and very nice and worked with us a lot. She knew we had camhs involvement for the issue and we as parents were doing what we could. Having the edw involved also meant the school stopped calling me and her actual attendance wasn’t an issue anymore as she had different goals set for her.

Spookyspaghetti · 01/12/2025 23:00

It sounds really tough op. Do you have a partner who is able to take over communicating with the school over this or can help you encourage your DD to go in?

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