Hi. So my dsis is having a tummy tuck/liposuction abroad next week and I can’t help but feel that partly this is due to the positive response (from others) that I’ve had with regards to my own weight loss. I know that might sound crazy and that I’m self absorbed but let me explain.
Ok so my sister is 5 years older and although we get on for the most part and we have a laugh when we get together she can be difficult to as she is clearly competitive despite trying her best to hide it. I am not in the least bit competitive and I have never gone out of my way to make her feel inferior in fact I am the one with anxiety, low self esteem and struggle to see my self worth so she really has nothing to worry about.
Anyway back on point. Like I said she’s always been competitive when it comes to various things and one of those things sadly is weight. We have both yo-yo’d with our weight throughout the years but I was always the bigger one until now. I however finally got my act together when I turned 40 and in the 18 months since I quiet smoking, went back to work and lost 7st in weight. All massive and what I thought to be positive changes. Dsis seemed fine with my weight loss until I got to a certain size and she realised I had lost a fair amount and then she started with the comments. Off the top of my head she has said things such as “oh you look incredibly drawn in your face so don’t lose anymore” “your legs really are like twigs” “you really need to eat more” then she’s asked me multiple times how much I weigh, asked me what size clothes I’m in and then scoffed like she didn’t believe me, and when I (stupidly) told her once how much I weighed she said not a chance you look so much smaller than that and tried to convince me to jump on her bathroom scales!
There are many more comments that I’ve endured but I can’t remember most of them but I do remember feeling upset and once she even made me cry once I got home. At one point I stopped making as much effort to see her as I couldn’t be doing with all the questions and comments about my weight. I didn’t see her for a few weeks and I thought nah don’t be silly she’s my dsis so I went round to her house for a cuppa and I was barely through the door before she told me that she’d booked this surgery abroad. I honestly didn’t know what to think but then later thought you know what you’re crazy. Usually I don’t judge what others do and won’t offer an opinion unless it’s asked for but wow just wow.
She is the type of person who will never be happy with what she sees in the mirror so it’s a completely pointless surgery. I doubt I’ll ever be 100% happy with my body even though I’m slimmer but you know what that’s fine. I‘m fitter from exercising and in general my health has improved and I don’t feel the need to put myself through voluntary surgeries. I know people are different and they can do whatever they chose but still I can’t help but think my dsis would benefit more from spending her money on therapy to address her body/confidence issues than on a potentially dangerous and unnecessary surgery.
And what’s more she’s going abroad completely on her own. I can’t go with her as I have work and dc to care for but to be fair I wouldn’t want to go even if I could. She’s going to be an absolute nightmare to care for afterwards but she has her dh for that. Christmas week though however when we all get together her new body is all I will hear about! Oh and just to add icing onto the cake she decided not to tell our parents about her surgery and has lied to them telling them she’s going on holiday to Spain for the week. What’s worse is she’s sworn me to secrecy too! I mean I know it’s not place to tell anyone and I won’t but come Christmas when my dsis is (somewhat) up on her feet again and she decides to share her “secret” with our Dp’s their next question they’ll ask after asking my dsis if she’s gone mad (I can hear my df now) is did I know about this, and what do I say, no?