AIBU - to hesitate talk about politics with my 13 years old

[Rekka]

We don't watch news at home, like the old days when our generation grew up. DH and I got news update on our devices. So there's the absence of neutral exposure froma 3rd party.

We all know the world has descended into more or less a chaos (if not a shit show across the globe). Sentiments are high and toxic figures are everywhere. The world looks gloomy for the coming years.

We haven't talked about politics to DC13 at all. He doesn't have the inclined curiosity to ask.

I'm very much on the fence if we shall start making him aware. But I fear our cynicism and pessimistic views will do no good. What we believe may well be biased and not holistic. But he's at that age he should know something about the real world out there. His friends would chat about Trump and he usually just remains silent as he doesn't have any opinions, because he's not made aware...

What do you guys think and suggest?

Watch the news and get a newspaper delivered. Parenting isn't only telling kids things when they ask.

Get a subscription to The Week: presents news from all perspectives and across different countries, plus lots of other stuff. Easy to read. We all enjoy it in our house, where we have a wide range of political opinions!

He must have covered some politics at school. It was U.K. Parliament week last week, DD is in year 2 and came home full of facts about the House of Commons and other stuff. We listen to the radio, watch PMQs sometimes, have watched big political news events live. It’s so important! He’ll be voting in a few years, he should be well aware of how our country is run and the basics of how our democracy works. Get him a copy of The Week magazine which features content from all of the newspapers. Politics literally affects the price of milk, get him involved.

But he's at that age he should know something about the real world out there.

Assuming he has a phone, he already knows.

The trouble is you don't know exactly what he knows or how he's processing it.

We always watched the news with dc and exposed them to current affairs, it is really important to me that they understood the world, politics and economics. We have had great debates over the years and talked about global warming, refugees, elections etc. we fostered an interest in the world and how it works. It was always age appropriate and they have a real interest in it all.

Watch the news, have Radio 4 on in the background, have newspapers/magazines lying around ... in the hope stuff grabs his attention and then wants to discuss it

Your guidance in navigating the endless sources of information is crucial. How else is he going to learn what to trust, what not to trust, how to decipher, how to decode? How is he going to learn about history and context? It's your job as his parents to teach him to navigate the world, understand politics, understand the budget and how taxes work and what fascism is and communism is - you can't just NOT do any of it because you're worried you might indoctrinate him! There's a huge gap between you telling him what to think and teaching him how to think. And please, PLEASE don't say that that's a school's job. It's not. It's a parent's job.

So he has spoke to you, otherwise how do you know his friends talk about Trump and he remains silent?

Next time you could use that opening, or one like it, to ask him “do you want to know more?”

Because it’s not imperative that 13 year olds know about the news, but it’s increasingly important that they can filter out the bollocks online. But 13 year olds don’t need to worry about trade agreements and such like, there will be plenty if time for him to think about all the adult stuff later, again if he wants to.

Also you need to think about how to respond if his young views differ from yours. Would you accept his opinions, be disappointed, try to change his mind?

We are a family that naturally chat about current affairs, but it’s never extreme with any viewpoint. Just a conversation, with some debate sometimes. And it goes off on tangents and the teens always bring something interesting to the table.

And I think it’s positive that they sometimes see me & H have differing viewpoints - but they are exchanged respectfully and that we can agree to disagree. And our opinions can be changed and they are.

There are many soft skills in the art of conversation that you can use current affairs as a base point. Enjoying the conversation is important.

What a strange way of looking at things, and very strange parenting too. Don't you and your DH ever discuss anything other than the weather or the shopping list? At 13 your son should be involved in topical discussions at home. Children gather general knowledge and an interest in current affairs through osmosis, which usually means listening to and joining in with their parents' conversations. This gives them a basis from which to progress and forumulate their own opinions as they get older. A home devoid of intellectual stimulation will leave your son without the tools for critical thinking. I feel rather sorry for him.

Get him to read newspapers, make an effort to watch the news with him.
Mine is 17 and I will send her links to news I think are important.
It helped her in school with the curriculum and debate skills. It helps for them not to be dragged down the path of following some crazy guys that are out there in social media. Believe me, there are plenty of them.
The news are great, but you will have to update them on some affairs, going years back.
It is great to debate with them, actually.

There are so much that is affecting them apparently the government is encouraging some schools to trial a 4 day teaching week. Great for teachers, they need time to plan lessons and mark. But, if your school is any similar to those mine and her friends go to, they are dropping subjects continuously because they no longer have the number of teachers, or the classes would be too small, so the school just drops the subject. It is heartbreaking for the pupils who just chose that subject, to have to rethink all their future just a month or two later. I have heard of this happening even in colleges with vocational courses.
I would say schools need more funding, to afford more teachers that can stretch to teach all the offered subjects with reasonably sized classes and a day to do their paperwork side. Just reducing the number of hours they teach will not sort the issues, I think. Both more funding and more not over-worked staff are needed.

It is very important for our youth to get involved and speak out.

My DS 16 is studying Politics A level and has to watch the news at night to discuss in lessons. We have always been open with him about the news and discussed current affairs with him. I took him to the polling station when I voted too. If you don't talk to your child, someone else with strong opinions will and he will not have tools or understanding. We try not to expect him to have the same opinions as us or to belittle anyone who thinks differently. Colourful characters like Trump and Johnson open discussion, or news stories about things he is interested in might be a good start. Politics is everywhere and influences his life already so it's not too soon to talk about how the country works.

What makes you think he doesn't know about the news? Assuming that he goes to school and talks to people, he will know a lot of things. Unfortunately, without guidance he may be indoctrinated in harmful ways...

Have Radio 4 on while you eat your breakfast together. Discuss whether you think their reporting is biased and whether they are good/bad at presenting statistics. When is £1 million a lot of money and when isn't it? That sort of thing.

I believe you're not parenting properly if you DON'T engage him in talking about politics. It's part of him becoming a balanced adult. Don't leave it to chance, and any old guff he comes across on social media.

All points taken.

I think the pattern was set in in such a way because in the earlier years when DH and I talked about politics, DC never showed any sign of willing to know more. And during Johnson's term, I decided to quit reading news or talking about politics altogether. The messiness surrounded us made me really anxious and emotional. So for my own sanity, I just pulled the plug and don't even want to talk about any of these clown shows anymore. That was when he's probably 8/9 years old?

I agree on the points made by various posters above. Just subscribed The Weeks and will talk to DH about what else we shall do to fill the gap.

Thank you!

I think it's really important to talk to kids about politics. As a teenager, your ds will be able to vote in a few short years.

And yes, it's probably inevitable that you will pass on some of your own biases. I'm sure we all pass down our values to our kids in one way or another. But you can still try to put the other side of an argument where appropriate. My lovely mum used to drive us mad playing devil's advocate when we knew that she agreed with us all along!😂

If you want to ease him into the news gently, start with Newsround on CBBC. It's designed for junior school children but is also useful for teenagers and even adults who aren't uo to date with current affairs and don't have the background knowledge that adult news reports assume.

I think you are right to unplug to an extent. I don’t think any human, least of all a teenager, needs to take in the news on an hourly or daily basis. When you do that it’s actually more entertainment than news. I also think most global events are completely irrelevant to most of us and again, we’re staying up to date more for stimulation/entertainment than anything else.

But you do need to provide a basic education on how our political system works and how to assess the quality of the information you hear. There are many ways to do that. I’d probably get two newspapers once a week and gently encourage an exercise in ‘read and compare’. Telegraph vs the Sun. The Daily Mail vs the Guardian. The Times vs the Express.

That's really good to know. DC used to be exposed to it in primary. I haven't asked him if his secondary school does anything similar.

We have a younger DC too. So can listen to the New sound together. Thanks!

We haven’t talked about “ politics” in the sense of this political party and that political party but we’ve discussed specific social issues as they’ve arisen ( eg seeing a person begging ). I suppose it’s quite balanced in our house as we have one of each flavour politically ( both quite centrist though ) and we have the Times and Guardian available at the weekend. I do try and be neutral in my language in the same way when discussing religion “ some people believe…” although I do nail my colours to the mast in issues that are important to me. I’m not giving Reform any air time in the house.

I also think it’s fine to be biased. You’re allowed to have opinions. If you also equip your DC with some critical thinking skills they’ll have the tools to disagree with you.

Older (ancient…) mum here. We have a 20 min drive to school and we listen to R4 Today programme (interspersed with Heart Dance if it’s sunny :) ).

We always make a point of talking about what is being discussed and I try to simplify it where I can. But I do turn off if it’s anything too graphic. We have an eight and six year old.

They also watch Newsround while we are getting ready for school.

Start watching TV news when you are all together and that can lead to conversation about topics.

I never understand parents who don't prepare kids for adulthood. So many parents seem to expect them to magically form opinions without any guidance at all, like letting them run riot on the internet without any safety settings.

So when they see Frogface Farage spouting his ignorant BS they nod along because maybe he speaks simply and sounds reasonable and enthusiastic! And we all wonder who on earth votes for the idiot...

We all try to do our best. Some of your best might be better than mine, and some of mine might be better than others. No need to project that I intended to not prepare DC for adulthood. They didn't come with an manual and we all make mistakes and miss out some!