To not want DS sat by himself while the rest of the class is on a fun trip

[Sprogonthetyne]

DS has additional needs and spends half of the school day in a small class with other sen kids, and half with the mainstream class. The school is running a treat trip, which they have invited some, but not all sen kid from across the school (both in the base and not).

In the mainstream classes its 1 or 2 kids out of a whole class that are invited, but for the half of the day he's in the suport base, it's every kid except DS who is going. I feel this is really bad planning and not really fair to leave just one out. He doesn't care about the trip itself, it's not an activity he'd particularly enjoy, but he cares a lot about been the only kid left behind and sitting by himself all morning.

Should I raise this with the school? I only just found out and the trip's this week, so it's too late to add him in, but WIBU to ask them to arrange for him to do something with other children during this time?

YANBU to flag this with them at all. How they then handle it is up to them but flagging how DS could perceive it is you advocating for him. Have the school said what the criteria was for being chosen?

But will he not just be taken into the ms class fir the morning? Does he have a support assistant allocated to him?

If it’s invitation only, and only one or two children per class are going, is it pure coincidence thst all the other children at the SEN base are going on the trip? I mean, is it an achievement reward or something? I assume school will just put him back into his mainstream class or suggest he might benefit from some individual attention for the SEN staff?

My DS has SEN too. They are absolutely never allowed to exclude them from trips. I go on some of the trips with DS if I’m able to get it off work, just to give them some additional support and because he’s pretty controlled around me. If you’re able to offer this, I’d ask if this is an option. Either way though, they really can’t do this.

Does he want to be with the mainstream class?

I’ve been the person left with the child in this situation and because he was the only one we did things totally tailored to his special interest.

Sounds like it's the non-sen kids who are being excluded.

it sounds like it’s just by chance that all the kids from that sub group have been invited. I would just ask the school how they’re going to handle it, as DS is probably not going to be very happy sat on his own. The school will come up with a solution.

@Sartre He's not being excluded for having sen. Read the post again

Do you know for sure that he’s going to be sitting by himself? What would make the most sense would be to combine with the mainstream kids who are also not going for the half a day that the trip is taking place. That way all of those who are not attending are kept together and no one is on their own.

I don’t understand, if they are only inviting a limited number of NT kids but every kid from the SEND support base, why is your son the only child from the support base being excluded?

It sounds like school are being inclusive by including all the support base, so why would they just exclude your DS?

I doubt he'll be sitting by himself.

There are not set criteria other then it been sen kids they think will benefit (I think the idea is to encourage friendships and boost confidence in kids that tend to get left out more in the mainstream class). It could well just be coincidence if they've picked them evenly from across their mainstream classes without realising they've asked all but one of the base kids. I get that it could just have been an oversight but think it's something they should have considered (especially as this a trip for sen kids and the base is for sen kids. I'd understand more if it was unrelated criteria the other kids just happened to all meet).

He does maths & English in the base & everything else with main class, so just putting him back into main class would mean adding him into a set he's not in, in the middle of a topic or book he has missed the start off, so kind of difficult (though not impossible).

Their plan when I found out was to have him alone with his ta, which is the bit I'm not happy about, not the fact he wasn't invited per say. I'd like to ask for them to arrange for him to be doing something with other children, even if it was meant pulling out a couple who would also benefit from additional suport to do small group work with him, but not sure if that would be a reasonable ask.

I've maybe explained it badly. The school have some kids with more significant need, who spend part of the day in the base, and some kids who have sen but can be suported in the main class full time.

All the children who were invited have sen, but not all of them are in the base. They've invited a promotion of the sen kids in the school, that happen to include all the base kids besides DS.

This is what I've been told, the conversation was along the lines "we need to prepare DS for his day looking different next week because all the other kids are out on a trip, so it will just be DS and miss X" following my me going "hold up there, why is everyone but DS going on a trip?". I had DS there so couldn't really have a proper discussion, so doing a follow up email, and wondering how hard it's reasonable to push on him not being alone?

It's only for half a day and he will get the full attention of 'Miss X' for the whole session, so that might turn out to be a good thing. Either you trust the school with your child or you don't. I'm sure this isn't the first time a child has been alone in the base with a teacher for a few hours, and the school will know how to handle this surely?

Just drop the school a message to say that DS is more upset about being in a class of one than anything; you're just letting them know in case that affects what they do. They may be grateful for your input.
If they know that's the issue, they might arrange for a couple of other pupils to join him for some intervention, or for him and his TA to join a mainstream class (even if he is doing different work for much of the time), or they might find something special for him to do. Hopefully they can work something out in time to prepare him in advance for whatever the plan is.
If not, you need to big up how lucky he is to get a really peaceful lesson and one-to-one attention.

The problem is that one of their most serious serious punishments (internal exclusion), is effectivly sitting alone with a member of staff for the day. This has happened in the past and we all talked to him about how serious it was and how he needs to behave so he can be with his friends. I'm not sure he has the capacity to differentiate between the two.

Then explain that to them. They may not have realised that he'll be making that connection.

If he’ll have a one to one TA, could he join another class (not his year) that we’re doing something more fun like art or cooking or PE?

This bothers me more than the initial post which just made it look.like a mistake/ lack of overview.
It was poor to leave out only 1 child from.the base (and I would be asking why this happened)

But if your child has previously experienced the proposed solution as a consequence then asking thm to do this with no clear logic as to why is either going to just confuse them at best or really upset them at worst.
School need to communicate what the plan is and how the will mitigate and negative associations for your child.
I would email school. I wouldn't cross in the first instance mistakes happen but do highlight the concerns you have shared here.

Potentially, he has an EHCP which funds 1:1 suport so staffing isn't really an issue, so there should be some flexibility. Even if they could just borrow another kid and the ta do a random job with them like put up the Christmas decorations, that would be fine with me. Though I appreciate other kids have their own learning and aren't just a resource so it would have to be something that benefited the other kid(s) two.

I’d ask if your ds can at least sit in the ms class with his TA, I totally agree he is going to feel really left out and punished by being excluded. What an absolutely horrible thing for the school to do.

Keep him home and treat him yourself. DS has Autism and Epilepsy, the school treat was a water park. He obviously couldn’t go. They suggested he came into school and I suggested he absolutely wouldn’t. We had a lovely day out together instead

I am not sure what you expect the school to do?

He's not in the group that needs the most support offered
He wouldn't even enjoy the activity anyway
you don't want him alone with an adult
you don't want him in the mainstream group either

If its a state school, there is a limited amount of resources, it's not reasonable to expect the school to set up an entire afternoon for him! When they have already offered reasonable solutions

It’s only for half a day so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

I used to work in a SEN base like this and regularly students chose not to attend and they could be left on their own at school with a couple of staff members.
They loved it as they did fun things with them and had some nice 1-1 time.

Obviously mention it if you want to but I’m guessing it’ll be 3 hours max.