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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Dh moaning about 45 minutes work

24 replies

Roundandround1985 · 01/12/2025 08:08

Background:
Dh worked Saturday night so I had to keep the kids out of the house all day Saturday and Sunday morning (dc are 9 and 4) so we did a cinema trip, shopping, lunch out snd swimming over the two day
Sunday afternoon we all had lunch together and then put the christmas tree up - all had a lovely afternoon early evening together

Dh and I are both off work today to the christmas shopping (annual tradition)

I had to log on to work after the kids were in bed for 45 minutes to run a report that I usually do on a Monday - no one else to cover as the person who normally would is caught up with something else so agreement with my manager was I could have the day off if I could get the report run (only day DH could get off in December)

Dh in a massive strop all last night because I took 45 minutes out to run something, which I had previously said was part of the agreement of being off today. Went to bed in a strop and still making sarky comments this morning

(He also logged on to do some work but because he was done in 10 minutes he thinks me doing 45 is unacceptable)

I also dared to try and read a chapter of a book last night while the kids were having half an hour downtime before bed and all dh did was take the hickey out of what I was reading snd moan I wasn't cuddled up to him enough

OP posts:

Coffeeishot · 01/12/2025 08:12

He is an arsehole isn't? Probably thinks.he deserves your time and to entertain him after him doing his big important .man job all weekend! Happy days eh you must be exhausted.

Lmnop22 · 01/12/2025 08:15

Eurgh what a man child. Love how his work takes total priority meaning his sleep before and after is of paramount importance and he can be away all evening and night at work yet when you want to commit 45 minutes of evening time to your job, you get an earful 🙄

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 01/12/2025 08:16

Your post has made him sound like a pathetic man baby. Is he a pathetic man baby?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/12/2025 08:17

I wouldn’t want to cuddle up to him. He sounds like an arsehole.

SwordToFlamethrower · 01/12/2025 08:20

Another day, another pathetic whiny manbaby. Sigh

jeaux90 · 01/12/2025 08:25

He sounds like an asshole. Is he usually?

MincePudding · 01/12/2025 08:26

Has he tried turning you off and on again?

If that doesn't work, he may need to return his Domestic Wife Appliance (DWA) for a refund for failing to live up to his expectation of having you available 24/7 to meet his needs.

Lurker85 · 01/12/2025 09:09

How could you be so inconsiderate? He is the main character and you are his facilitator and side kick, you aren’t allow to do anything that doesn’t directly benefit him. Shame on you.

courageiscontagious · 01/12/2025 09:11

Men should be more lonely.

courageiscontagious · 01/12/2025 09:11

Men should be more lonely.

noidea69 · 01/12/2025 09:13

Sounds like he was after a shag.

AutumnFroglets · 01/12/2025 09:38

Buy him a pack of earplugs for Christmas so you don't have to drag the kids out and entertain them elsewhere ever again.

What is he normally like OP? Because right now he's behaving very badly and you shouldn't put up with it. If it's a one off then a serious chat is needed, if it's a pattern then I suggest thinking long and hard about whether you should keep this unequal, unsupportive "partnership " going.

OhamIreally · 01/12/2025 09:40

My ex used to be like this. It was fine for him to work whenever but if my work called out of hours he would pace around muttering “they’re taking the piss”.

I’ve seen women report this quite a bit so it’s definitely a thing. Must be as PP says that they feel entitled to your time. It’s not in fact “your time” because you are his wife, it’s his.

harriethoyle · 01/12/2025 10:10

Why does him working Sat night mean you have to take the kids out of the house all Saturday and Sunday morning?

MotherofPufflings · 01/12/2025 10:16

harriethoyle · 01/12/2025 10:10

Why does him working Sat night mean you have to take the kids out of the house all Saturday and Sunday morning?

Yes, why do you need to do that? I used to work nights with 4 small children, I never expected them to be kept out of the house all day when I was sleeping afterwards and certainly not on the day of the night shift! Ear plugs, white noise and realistic expectations!

ItsDarkNow · 01/12/2025 10:17

@Roundandround1985
How can you even put with him?

EmeraldShamrock000 · 01/12/2025 10:19

Yuck. I absolutely hate adults who like to sulk, just for the sake of it. It's a real show of character.

Shinyandnew1 · 01/12/2025 10:19

harriethoyle · 01/12/2025 10:10

Why does him working Sat night mean you have to take the kids out of the house all Saturday and Sunday morning?

This.

What's the situation here?

Has he been a lovely man all his life but has suddenly became a total arse just over the weekend?

Or has he always been an arse but you decided to have children with him anyway?

Whatifitallgoesright · 01/12/2025 12:07

You say he had to work Saturday night but nothing about working Sunday morning. Did you go out so he could have a lie-in?

I really don't understand the 45 mins you spent Sunday night. What did he actually do during that time? What were you required for?

Elsvieta · 01/12/2025 14:00

"If you want to be cuddled, don't be an arse and moan about me working when I have to work. And if it happens again, you can forget about me taking the children out every time you need to do your Big Important Man Job". Ick.

Blablibladirladada · 02/12/2025 20:24

He thinks he deserve all your time and your attention…hence he is stroppy because he was doing you a favor working during the week end while you were out with the kids…you should have jumped on him as soon they were in bed to thank him.

Greenshed · 02/12/2025 20:29

Your OH needs to grow up - fast.

Gorbie · 02/12/2025 20:33

Why does he working Saturday night mean you have to be out of the house? I worked a 12.5 hr nightshift Saturday night, my husband was at work all day Saturday so I had the kids all day, we swapped over when he got back then Sunday so I went off to work over night. I slept for 2.5hrs when I got back then took kids to the park and cooked Sunday roast for dinner. He's been ridiculous sorry x

Ariel896 · 03/12/2025 12:25

What’s the actual point of him?!

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