To walk away from a mentally ill sibling?

[ToeSucker]

Sibling has had psychotic symptoms for over 10 years.
Aggressive, violent etc.
Cannot be reasoned with at all no matter how calm and reasonable you are.
Psychiatry say not sick enough to force treatment.
Previously heavily on antipsychotics but now underweight and actively starving due to delusions, refusing medication.
Meanwhile police have been called 3x this week due to sibling smashing up my elderly mothers place as my mother cried.

I feel we have no choice but to abandon sibling and move mother to a place of safety.
Police have said this is all we can do.
Psychiatry don't want to know. Have called so many times in the last 6 months only to be met with "tell them to come in otherwise there's nothing we can do".

AIBU?

What a difficult situation.
You obviously need to get your mother to a place of safety.

The only thing you can do is get your mother to a place of safety. It’s incredibly difficult, I only realised a few years ago while dealing with an extremely unwell relative that it’s very difficult to get someone care, even if they seem too unwell to be able to refuse care.

I don't think you have a choice. Get your mum out of that unsafe environment and look after yourself. All your support and sacrificing so far has not saved them, has it? I find the AA mantra 'you did not cause this, you cannot control this, and you cannot cure this' very helpful, alongside their principle of loving detachment. You can still love your sibling whilst keeping your mum and you safe, and I strongly recommend you do that.

The metaphor I use is would you step in front of a lorry without brakes careering down a hill? No, and it doesn't help to do so. Move yourself and your mum out of the way. It might be they become so troublesome they get more support/sectioned/kept in for treatment, it may not. I think you have to let go of the outcomes here as you and your mum deserve a good and safe life and sadly whatever you do, you will not be able to help your sibling.

I would get your Mum to safety but I would also call your brother's GP and explain you cannot cope and your DB is a risk to himself and others.

I think I am troubled as a co-worker recently commented on a mentally ill person they know who deteriorated and ended up being arrested for harassment. They said "at the end of the day, it's the family who let them down by leaving them alone" and I've actually heard this said quite a lot about mental health situations since. I am wondering if there is more I can or should be doing, even though I have exhausted every avenue I've found.

I've already spoken to their psych team at length. They assessed my sibling, re-prescribed old meds and said there was nothing they could do if they refused treatment.

Yes, definitely. Protect your mother at all costs, heartbreaking reading about family members being murdered by loved ones, no-one thinks that it will be them.
Your poor mother.

Your coworker is an idiot who clearly has never actually had a severely mentally ill family member or any real understanding of the limitations that family/friends/medical professionals have over people deemed competent.

If they’re a risk to others is there not a case for sectioning and treating inpatient? I have personal experience of the mental health system so I know that’s often easier said than done, I assume sibling isn’t meeting a sectionable threshold?
Ultimately yes you must keep yourself and your mum safe, please don’t think otherwise.

Yes, i would. Been in this situation twice.

once with own sibling, we had to get them sectioned however they came off their meds and got extremely unwell again. Turns out the first lot of meds were the wrong ones! Got sectioned again, found the right medication and has never relasped since. Went onto to do a nursing degree and now very happy in life. (Still has triggers but works nights as they cant sleep at night so they know how to look after themselves.)

second was an in law, they refused treatment and would lash out to everyone, refused to get sectioned. We all had to walk away. Eventually years later after ending up on the street they seeked help & now dosed up to their eyeballs but doing better. Still keep away though.

Your co-worker has shit for brains.

Technically yes they're very much a risk to self and others but not enough of a risk. Psych and police assess every time and say they can't do anything. They know about the self harm and the violence. They've heard recordings.
Someone literally needs to be ready to jump or holding a knife to get sectioned.

Your colleague doesn't understand... Mind your mother and yourself. It's tough, lonely and unfair - keep yourselves safe and a record of everything.

Unfortunately, from personal experience, they don't seem to act until something serious happens then try and sweep it all under the carpet.
I kept escalating matters to Mental Health services Management team. And literally didn't stop until I got action (which took some time) But I was absolutely furious at the time (rightly so) I sent emails and eventually got a meeting with Management. You can also escalate to the Health Ombudsman if you can.
I kept telling them something will happen and they didn't listen to me until it did.

And yes agreed, keep a record of everything. Authorities do have a duty of care.