“I would love to work, but…”

[SpoonBaloon]

Am I the only one who is becoming increasingly irritated by this phrase?

I’ve seen so many people state this in recent weeks - the woman on BBC QT and a posters on various forums - particularly in relation to receiving PIP for mental health issues and I find it so insulting.

I understand there are people who would be penalised if they increased their hours or accepted a promotion. And the system is crazy for this. But there seems to be a plethora of people who don’t work, probably could work, make absolutely no attempt to work, and yet claim they really want to.

I work full time in a stressful job. As with every other workday I’ll be waking up tomorrow at 5.45am to get to there on time. I’ve just suffered a bereavement, I am worried about the health of family members and the absolute last thing I want to do right now is go to work.

I have a few colleagues who have been signed off with stress at various times over the years, some of whom have had fertility issues and suffered a number of miscarriages which they attribute to their work life. Yet still, they carry on because that’s what we’ve been raised to do.

AIBU to think these people are just completely taking the piss? Or am I just a heartless right wing ghoul?

Totally agree.
I work, as does my husband. We both have peripatetic jobs so literally have to work childcare drop offs / pick ups every single week as our diaries change. 2 young children under 5.
Its a nightmare, we're both exhausted, we don't have family support etc. We have to balance childcare / every day is different etc.
Would never have occurred to me to not go back to work after having my children and to just claim instead.

If you can work, you work.

If you have a mental or physical disability (as I do) , you find a job that can be adapted to you.

Does my head in when you read about not only 1 but TWO parents sitting at home. Get off your arse and do something! And if you can't earn for what ever reason go and do some charity work and show your children how you should give back to society instead of sponging off tax payers!

So because you're happy to martyr yourself for your workplace everyone else should be doing the same?

Maybe we should be addressing why people are forced to work through bereavement or work so hard that they have multiple miscarriages, rather than berating the mentally ill for being mentally ill?

I used to work.

i was in an accident and became disabled and continued to work for over a decade.

sometimes people genuinely are too ill to work. My neighbour is dying of breast cancer and gets pip.

How many months before her death is she allowed to stop working?

^

Oh stop! I work and have 4 kids and I am so fed up of being stressed, running, panicking and exhausted. If I had any options of not having to work I would tap the hell out!! If you want to leave work and have minimal money and no options of increasing the household income go for it!! Leave people to their choices

I don't work. I would like to. I am too ill.

OP, my GP said to me that getting PIP is so difficult that anyone who does get it deserves it. I don't know if you have heard anything about the process but it is incredibly grueling and the standard of evidence that is required is tremendous. I probably sent in about 200 pages of forms and letters - hospital letters plus letters of support from various other professionals who knew me. Even with all this, I still had to go tbrougb a grueling 2-hour health assessment.

I was someone who said that, I’ve luckily got a job now that are incredibly incredibly flexible and lovely about my disabilities, the fact is though that the majority of companies aren’t like that about disabilities and what comes with that. That combined with often large gaps in cv due to illness or mental health etc it can become very easy to fall into I wish I could work but

So because you're happy to martyr yourself for your workplace everyone else should be doing the same?

It's not martyring oneself, it's being a decent member of society and contributing rather than cheating and lying ones way through life as many are.

You often hear people proudly saying that it's not worth working. There are some genuine cases where people are unable to work but many of the excuses are simply pathetic.

MH is the bad back of the 21st century, I think we all could go to see our GP, say the buzz words and get signed off indefinitely.

The lady on BBC Question Time said she was looking for work.

The people I know who are too poorly to work wish they were not poorly to begin with. Trying to live with mental health issues can be a full time job in itself.

The job market is shit right now. There are simply not enough jobs to go round. Some people with MH issues have not worked for years. Will their CV ever be at the top of the pile? No.
If they get a job, how long before their colleagues are complaining about them on here for acting strange, or having to take lots of time off.

YABU. People have different energy levels and that's not really understood until someone healthy comes down with the flu and realises what it's like to be barely able to get off the sofa. Try having an underactive thyroid and operating at about 10% of the energy level of everyone else. When even putting your socks on is a monumental effort. People don't choose to be this way. And most people who are deemed "lazy" are depressed.

Yabu

Oh stop. Please.

i gave up work to care for 3 seriously disabled people in my family. The only time o get to myself is when I’m asleep overnight and even then it is disturbed with their needs.

believe me when I say I would rather work.

I worked. Didn't see any alternative, so kept on.

And then one day, I couldn't. Couldn't even hold a cup and the pain and effort involved in getting to the bathroom left me needing to go back to bed for another couple of hours. And I couldn't afford the bus, manage the walk to and from the bus stop to get to the GP - not that I could afford the prescription charges in any case.

Actually not working helped me get my condition under control. I wasn't sustaining further joint damage from an employer who not only didn't give a shit, they saw it as being made up and a sign of me lacking in moral fibre, I could get to the GP and fill prescriptions.

I finally had something resembling remission after eight years. And went from just about managing to not having a single spare penny and being back in pain and exhausted. So I was worse off physically and financially. But hey, maybe somebody thought better of me for making myself worse off. That'll make the spinal degeneration better, somebody else's approval (or more likely, a complete dismissal of what it took to get through those years because 'it's what normal people do').

I am sorry you've had a bereavement, but you are directing your pain and worry and rightful hurt at the wrong thing. You can take time if that's what you need. It's fine, it's understandable. You do not have to carry this all on your own and pretend that you're this magnificent person who copes because it's all you've ever thought you are allowed to do.

Along with being kinder to other people, be kinder to yourself.

Well I suppose that’s one way to start a benefits bashing thread without starting a benefits bashing thread 🙄