DD is 9 (10 in 2 months time) and she has started not wanting to pop out to the shop with me if we need the odd thing, or if I need to put a load of washing on at the launderette (launderette is across the road, you can see it from our window, and the shop is on the corner of the road).
I've allowed her to stay at home recently, and she has a way of contacting me if need be, although she often stays doing whatever it is she was doing when I left - a few times she has video called or text me while I'm there (nothing wrong, just wanted to) but not every time.
She's happy and comfortable with this and it was her pushing for it.
I timed myself on my phone a few times and the shop trip takes an average 7-10 mins, so not long at all. Launderette is similar as I go and put the wash on and then I'm back home until it's time to bring stuff back to dry/put stuff in tumble drier etc. She was always moaning about having to go there and back and back again and back again with me!
Anyway, my ex her dad, who barely sees her, has got wind that I've been doing this and has kicked off at me. He says I'm a neglectful parent who is putting his daughter at risk and I clearly don't care about her safety and should be reported to social services etc.
I pointed out that her school (5 mins walk away), actually allow the Year 5/Year 6 children to walk to and from school on their own. DD doesn't yet, I usually let her walk ahead of me and walk behind right now, unless she sees a friend up ahead on the way then she runs up to them and off they go. It's 0.2 miles!
She went to a friend's house after school and said friend lives a few houses up the road of the school and walks home alone, so DD walked with her to her house.
Anyway, he's basically said that only parents who don't care about their children let them do that and any decent parent would be walking them to school or driving them.
My argument is that in Year 7 the majority of children won't be wanting their parents walking them or getting the bus anymore and they need to build up some responsibility, trust, and independence over the coming years rather than being thrown in at the deep end. He basically said that even in secondary school they should be getting picked up by parents.
He's then gone on to say that I'm putting her in danger and the country isn't safe for her (I believe he's fallen into dangerous territory here as his words are "aren't safe for white women and girls"!!) and that if anything happens to DD because I left her alone at all then he will "avenge her" and "happily sleep on a blue mat for the rest of his life" - this is a threat to kill, no? It isn't the first time he's said he'll spend the rest of his life in prison if anything happens to her in my care.
So, AIBU in leaving her alone for 10 mins or in believing in fostering independence as they move up towards secondary?
And... What am I supposed to do about her dad?