Trapped with gf, could lose everything

[stupididiotbastard]

Trapped w/ gf who’s listed as co founder on our company

I stupidly listed my gf as a co founder on our shared company years ago. Trying to separate while maintaining the company (extremely profitable) would mean that I would lose a proportion of wealth that I’m not prepared to do.

I have fallen out of love with her after almost a decade together. I’ve met someone else and I want to leave her but I can’t. The current compromise is that we will be in an open relationship. I’ve fallen in love with someone else who is not comfortable with the open relationship.

I honestly don’t know what to do. Is there any way I can separate without her nuking my life and finances? Anyone have any experience with separating from a co director?

You need legal advice. From a lawyer.

You obviously liked her enough to list her as a co founder a decade ago? It’s a bit “you made your bed now lie in it”’

Well if she's a co-founder you offer to buy her out at a fair market value surely?

How utterly cowardly of you.
Stop stringing both along and wasting your poor girlfriends time, love and money.
She could be pouring her efforts into something or someone who gives her joy and instead is stuck with you who is only with her because it will cost money.
Grow some balls.

Buy her out. Yes, it will cost you, but you will just have to chalk this up as a learning experience.

You’re going to have to buy her out. That’s how it works 🤷‍♀️

I don't think you'll get the advice you're looking for here.
You might get your arse handed to you on a plate though.

Get legal advice and prepare to loose some money. You chose to add her as a co founder knowing what it meant, and you’ve chosen to fall in love with someone else whilst still in a relationship, you are a victim of yourself. Legal advice to make sure you don’t give away anything unnecessarily is a good idea, but then just come to terms with what they say and stop dragging this woman along while you love someone else, it’s not right and you risk ruining your future relationship

It’s her company too. If you don’t want to deal with her on a regular basis anymore, get a loan and buy her out at fair market value.

It doesn't matter who is a director. Are you both shareholders? The specific benefits of being a director will be in your partnership agreement or contracts but aren't necessarily representative of an equal financial benefit so yes, you need a solicitor.

My ex husband and I started a very successful business years ago, with me putting the bulk of the start up money in and being a co-director. However I did nothing else. He did all the leg work, finding clients, doing the work etc. I maybe helped online or answered the phone a few times (could probably count on one hand). When we were divorcing I happily signed it all to him. All I wanted was the money I put in at the start. He was happy with that and I got it back. Maybe talk to her and see if she’s agreeable. I know not all would be ok but I saw it as only fair. In our situation we have a daughter who the company would benefit as she grew older, that meant more to me than dragging him through the cleaners.

Shared business? But you are concerned about her financially nuking you? No thought about how she will feel if you take her business as well as ending her relationship because you've met someone else. You sound so selfish.

You need to be a professional and pay her for her share of the company or make her an offer.

It’s not her fault that you’ve fallen in love with someone else - is it possible to be business colleagues but not lovers?

FAFO.

She is part owner. That's her wealth too.

Why don't you resolve your current relationship without trying to start another one until that's done?

Do you and this girlfriend also happen to share children?

Would you have felt the same if you didn’t have a shared child and he fell in love with someone else while still with you? This could be a risky move given OP hasn’t behaved appropriately

Shared company? So hers as well? Value the business and her proportion of it and come to an arrangement, go on your separate ways.

What do you want here?

To leave her with nothing after 10plus years together?

Did she do anything to help build the company? Or support you while you did?

Presumably this is the bit he doesn't want to do.

Do you mean she has shares ? I don't understand what her being a founder has to do with not breaking up.

I'm an accountant who deals with this kind of thing.

If she has shares there's still no obligation to buy her out. It depends what the Articles of association say.

Are you in uk? Founder doesn’t matter .. do you have a partnership document or is the company limited with you having equal numbers of shares? Do you both take salaries or just dividends?

does she play a useful part in the company?

you could agree to run the company together without being in a relationship

So you want to leave your gf of 10 years with nothing but also have a threesome with her and your new one? Yeah, that all checks out. Wtf.

Presumably she owns shares and is not just a director? You need a lawyer and yes this will likely be expensive. You were happy to share your worldly goods with her 10 years ago and it’s only now you want to leave that you’re having second thoughts. You can’t turn back the clock on this and will have to accept that. But it might not be as bad as you think - you will only know when you have consulted a lawyer. Find one who specializes in business exits.

Is she both a director and a shareholder?
Who is the beneficial owner?

You should speak to your solicitor.

So after ten years you want to leave her and the only reason you're having second thoughts is because you want to take all your money with you. You don't love your GF or the new woman if the cash is more important than either of them. There's a word for people like you and it's not a nice word @stupididiotbastard