To ask what you're dreading most about Christmas with your inlaws this year? ( lighthearted )

[BossaNovaOnAllNight]

I know its a time of year for giving and being with each other but let's be real, the people we spend christmas with don't magically have a personality transplant just because of the date on the calendar. What are you already anticipating will wind you up this Christmas? I'll go first, DH'S grandmother noticing everyone's weight ( gain, loss anything ) and bringing it up just before dinner when we are all about to eat a ton. DSIL will undoubtedly say something my autism finds unacceptable, like she's lied about something not arriving from Etsy and got a refund from a small business . Oh and I truly do not want to go on a huge family walk in the freezing cold really, I run daily and want a day off. As I say, this is light hearted and I will have a lovely time and I can't wait to see my in-laws but its a full on few days haha. Aibu to ask what you're dreading?

The ‘faff’ as always is what I’m dreading. They’re such lovely people, but everything has to be a little more difficult or complicated than it needs to be and I just want a quiet, simple Xmas at home.

I'd rather go home early.

I'm dreading having to leave their house after boxing day dinner. They make the best food and they are wonderful hosts. I'll be completely spoilt and not lift a finger while I'm there.

Well Xmas with my side of the family always always always end up with someone arguing with my 3rd brother. He’s a knob and starts petty arguments with anyone and everyone.
Xmas is my sisters birthday, so she demands a full Xmas dinner and everyone must be there. We are not even Christian.
She has has a Xmas birthday party for the last 41 years.
Last year it was me that got chosen by my 3rd brother and after the huge argument I refused to eat dinner.

My in laws side is another nightmare. My Mil has severe OCD, she always can’t stand any smells in her house so constant windows open during cooking, serving and eating.
My Fil can’t stand the cold so we have central heating, fan heater and he recently bought a bloody butane gas heater all for the one living room.
So you’re either too hot in one part of the house or too flipping cold.

The OCD does mean she doesn’t allow anyone to do the washing up etc. But the constant criticising of my parenting goes beyond a joke. My son knows how to play his grandma so I just get nagged at for no reason.
My Fil has this habit of fussing over nothing. Like he wants me to do something for the kids and he wants it done yesterday. I’m talking silly things like she’s hit take her cardigan off, do it, do it, do it.
Why don’t you feed my grandson more food, do you meagre his food. Put more food on his plate, add more food now, add it now, add it now.
My grandaughter is crying, why why why why why is she crying. You have to do what’s he’s asking you but at the same time don’t stop what he’s already asked you to do.
Both Mil and Fil overuse my name too when I’m at their house. I swear to god, they must call me with demands from living room to kitchen like 200 times in a few hours.
Do I run to the OCD maniac or to the overly fussy old man? Lol.

I would rather stay at home but the kids get to have fun so I sacrifice my happiness for them wherever we end up for Xmas.

Yes to this. Having deaf 80 somethings shuffling round in a kitchen they don’t know isn’t helpful.

I once tasked them with laying the table. Everything was on the table. You all know how this ends.

My sister is spending Xmas with her DP alone this year so I have to host all the boring old people. ☹️

My GM has 3 fave topics of conversation: why can’t we call Muslims Mohammedans anymore, why can’t we call Black people Coloured anymore, and in my day we just smacked sexual predators around the head with our handbags and they didn’t give us any trouble.

One year I swear I will invite a Black Muslim person to join us for Xmas to better explain things to her. Possibly smacking her round the head with her own handbag is a step too far…

I love how my in-laws feel so comfortable that they sit for 7 hours waiting to be served whilst ignoring their grandchildren. It’s so nice they feel that they can do nothing for the whole day while DH and I run around like headless chickens and barely get any time with our kids?’!!

My in laws are lovely. They are far away so we stay for 2 nights. One night is fine, by night 2 I'm overstimulated by all the people as I have a small family and the kids running around, plus even though tis Christmas there is a lack of food .... I take a lunchbox 🤣.

Also the constant repetition of previous boring conversations and having to be 'on' all the time as they can't just sit in silence!

@BossaNovaOnAllNight being the only family member left out of the family gift exchange orchestrated by my spiteful sister-in-law. And having my name left off our family Christmas card (yes, her again!)

I’m with @Netcurtainnelly after my year with the in-laws 😁 sorry not all that lighthearted 🎄🎄

Oops. Missed the light-hearted bit. In that case it's the bit my lovely in laws aren't inviting us but aren't asking to be invited and I do not know what to do.

I’m dreading all of it because my dad has just died and I don’t want to talk about it, nor do I know how to get out of talking about it without being incredibly awkward and uncomfortable. Plus side, they’re coming to us so I can hide in the kitchen and I know the food will be how I like it!

I think I’m the in-law issue. S-I-l and I have nothing in common at all but get on like a house on fire, we don’t see each other often but text most days. So when we see each other we turn into teenagers giggling behind our hands and whispering in jokes. She is an angel from heaven, knows I barely drink and don’t drink wine so last year made a bottle of cocktail just for me. We were missing when dinner was called, eventually found in the garage by one of our teenagers. We got a row at dinner and separated which we found hilarious and our children couldn’t believe. We took the dogs out for a walk before pudding because “actually we’re not teenagers and you can’t stop us”. We missed pudding because we were drinking in the shed with 3 dogs. DH and BIL will do anything for peace and know who they’re married too so just took the dogs away and left us to it.

apparently she’s leaving the bottle of cocktails in the garage this year in advance. My now 18 ds can’t wait to join in. Im probably going to get coal in my stocking.

That’s not normal at all

My mil died on Friday. I'm not looking forward to any of Christmas as everything is so utterly awful at the moment. It's heartbreaking.

No shit, Sherlock!!

I am so sorry, that's hard for you all.

Dmil will be lovely and a delight to host. My own family, on the other hand, will be more trying.

Dbro talking loudly about himself at the dining table, and not appreciating for one second the fact I've cooked an entirely separate meal for him as he can't tolerate normal Christmas food, dm being critical about me getting things she deems a waste of money (crackers, gifts for the dc that aren't strictly practical, a second pudding beyond the fruit salad that she likes). Dbro talking about how his dislike of female black politicians is nothing to do with racism or sexism, but they just don't "feel competent".

Sometimes dp and I down vodka shots in the kitchen just to get through the middle part of the day.

We go to boxing day tea for MIL. It's the 90 minutes of Christmas he will tolerate although no Christmas food will be served instead it has to be a salad with trifle. If we didn't go her Christmas would be half a day with us and the rest with him. He already forbids any Christmas decorations, she's not allowed to put any Christmas cards up. He took the Christmas tree and baubles to the tip a few years ago because he's not having Christmas in his house.

The ‘faff’

Not really related to the topic, but I went to a concert yesterday and was astonished at how long it takes people to just sit down.

Find your seat, sit on it.
Easy.
Stop bloody faffing.

Drives me wild on aircraft too.

nothing, we don’t see them anymore. Christmas for the first time in decades will be lovely & peaceful, no more family dramas.

I think i know her 😂

We will play Christmas table sardines as MIL insists on serving up so much and decorates the table within an inch of it’s life that there’s just not enough space!

There’s plates, side plates, at least 2 glasses each, napkins, crackers (often 2 each as she likes the pattern and couldn’t decide which to get!), a home made decoration complete with candles (which have to be lit) that she’s foraged for and made herself (inevitably with a creepy crawly that puts in an appearance mid meal!) and that’s before we start on the food and drink.

The meat is plated for us, but we have roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, roast parsnips, mashed parsnips, mashed swede (which has taken fil most of Christmas Eve to peel and cut!), carrots, peas, sprouts, red cabbage and cauliflower cheese! Any of these could end up with a bit of foraged foliage in amongst it! Add in wine, water jugs and soft drinks and you can probably imagine the carnage!

Then there’s the gamble of which of them will fall. To be fair it’s not always on Christmas Day, but we’ve been in A&E with one or the other 3 out of the last 4 Christmases. They always have a reason why they’ve fallen so do not think that balance exercises or falls prevention classes are suitable for them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh, the joys. Perhaps one day they’ll accept the invitation to come to us instead!

@Muchtoomuchtodoyou need to tell FIL about microwaving the swede before peeling. Game changer apparently. Can’t help with anything else though.

I could do, but what else would he spend his Christmas Eve doing if we relieved him of that job?!