Expected to look after puppy after surgery

[notmygovernment]

My son bought a puppy a couple of months ago, he’s a lovely dog but needs a lot of attention as pups do. I’m at home all day as I’m recovering from surgery and I’m expected to look after the pup while he’s at work. And it’s a lot more exhausting for me than he thinks.

He bought the pup home 3 days after my surgery, I was due home the next day but had complications (I nearly died) and didn’t leave hospital until 3 weeks later. I’m exhausted, I’m on pain relief which itself is making me tired and adding puppy sitting to my life is just unbearable.

Thanks for reading my moan! I sound incredibly selfish but I’ve had enough.

Your son is being horrendously selfish and you need to say no.

Say no

Your son is deeply and horribly selfish

Tell him he needs to make other arrangements for the puppy. He's being very unfair to you.

I sound incredibly selfish but I’ve had enough.

This is rubbish and you know it is, so why would you type it?

You need to tell him you can't do it and he'll have to make other arrangements.

Ooft, that’s a no from me. And I love and have dogs - but you don’t get a puppy and then expect your mum to do all the hard work! I assume you knew he was getting the dog, agreed in principle, but have been taken by surprise by the amount of work you are expected to do? Whether you agreed in principle or not, it’s too much work for you, and btw it’s not your job to do! Puppies are hard work. You need to start saying no.

Does he live with you? Does he work every day? If so why did he buy a puppy he won’t see very much? Whats his plans for after your recovery? Does he know how much dog walkers cost?

A pup will be easy to rehome.

Who was meant tobe looking after the pup if ypu weren't at home?

Why on earth can't you just say no? Are you scared of him?

Yes son lives with me. I’m disabled and he thought it would be good company for me. His job is early morning to early afternoon so he’s gone when I get up. It’s not the dogs fault, I can’t just ignore him. I think son just doesn’t understand how much my disability affects me and how hard a puppy would be for me to look after. Surgery complications obviously didn’t help.

Who has been doing the puppy slog whilst you’ve been away ? It’s a lot, up and down all day with toilet training, stopping them hoovering up e writhing on the floor etc … nightmare!

It really comes over as though you are frightened of your son OP and that the hierarchy in the home is that he is boss and you are expected to do what he wants.

He is being incredibly selfish expecting you to look after his dog. And that's even without taking your health issues into account.

He is also being really unfair to the dog by bringing him into a home where he, the owner, is out all day.

You really need to telk your son how much your health is suffering and that this situation can't continue.

Does he control what you do? There is help out there if you need it.

You are certainly not selfish and your son is being a dick. My dog nearly broke me when he was a puppy and I’m fit and healthy. I’m not an advocate of rehoming, but can dog be returned to the breeder?

I’ve been home 5 weeks, they’ve had the 9 weeks. My husband had time booked off to look after me after surgery but I was in hospital longer than planned so he looked after the dog. He had gone back to work by time I came home so he had family round to look after dog until then.

Son couldn’t take time off work as he’d not long started new job.

Definitely wrong time to get a dog. But he’s here now.

Get on the Rover app book a local person. Husband drops puppy off on way to work. Ds picks up later.
Your ds will beed to pay doggy care.

‎Rover—Dog Sitters & Walkers App - App Store https://share.google/XyXfvHx0kNDtGgSK1

Absolutely this

You don't have to do something just because you are 'expected' to. Tell your son you are not available to look after his dog and the options are:

he arranges alternative care for the dog, and pays for it if necessary;
the dog is rehomed;
your son moves out and takes the dog with him.

Ohh I’m not frightened of my son at all, don’t think that.

I had brain surgery so thinking, talking comes across muddled sometimes. I may not have written these posts out as best I could.

So your son sat you and your husband down and asked if you'd both be ok with him buying a puppy, and if you'd look after it while he was at work?

If yes, then why didn't you and your DH point out it would be too much hard work?

If no, who the hell does he think he is, buying a puppy while he's living in your house and can't look after it himself?

Wow that sounds so tough and I agree with others very unfair of your son.

I am presuming your son had no previous puppy experience as otherwise would know how much hard work it is. Yes pups are cute but they are relentless and can be little shits too.

Not only the basics, but there is the early days and months training and proper socialisation that’s essential for raising a happy and well behaved adult dog. Does your son do all that? Does he have a socialisation plan?

My last puppy nearly broke me too as I was trying to work from home and my partner unexpectedly had an injury, I’ve had several dogs and puppies so I knew I had to push on but it was exhausting and stressful. Like you, this hadn’t been the plan. Worth it now as dog is settled and reasonably well behaved, god knows it could have been the opposite.

Your son needs to face his responsibilities to his dog snd stop taking advantage of you.

OP… it’s HIS puppy that he is responsible for. Not you. You’ve just had surgery you should be relaxing and recovering with them comforting and doing tasks for you!

He has been disgusting to do this right now when you’ve had surgery. You need to tell him the puppy is his job and he can do it or he can hire someone to do it but you are simply not well enough. You’re his mum not his servant!

This is too much to deal with after brain surgery. Perhaps your husband should speak to your son and set out the options described by a previous poster above. Your family should be treating you as the main priority while you're recovering. The dog needs to go.

Sorry, OP, but he was not thinking about you one bit when he got the puppy - no matter how many times he says otherwise given you freely admit it was not the right time to get a dog.

He was being a selfish git who wanted a puppy and thought his mother would - as you have done so far - do free dog day care for him.

I hope you continue to recover well from your surgery, but you 110% need to put your foot down with your son.

your son and husband need to find a family member who can take on the dog during the day, so that you do not have to be responsible for it. You need to explicitly tell them both that you are finding it too much to look after it all day. It massively unfair of either to expect it and you need to advocate for yourself here.