Morbid question I know, but…How do the police know whose door to knock on if something happens to you?

[Hermanfromguesswho]

Inspired by another thread asking what people would assume if police officers knocked on your door and the overwhelming response was to worry that something had happened to a loved one.
Anyone who works in the police…how do you know who is next of kin/emergency contact?
I, for example, am a single parent of teenagers. I live alone with them.
Their Dad lives a couple of hours away. I have parents and siblings, who I am in close contact with but they all live at least 3 hours away and although they know what I do, they don’t know the name of where I work. They know my friends names but don’t have their contact details.
My whole support system here is a couple of very close friends (one is my children’s godparent) and my ex parent in laws (who live locally)
Morbid thought but I worry if I had a serious car accident and was badly injured or killed, how would my children find out? Is there somewhere I can register my friend and in laws as my official emergency contacts as they would be best placed to be with my children, care for them and inform the children’s Dad and my work etc.
I wouldn’t want someone knocking on my Mums door 3 hours away who would be lost and not know how to deal with it all!!

Apologies, I meant isn't unlocked.

I knew somebody who died of a heart attack while out for a run. He had nothing on him to identify him and it took several days. 😞

I’m not too worried about not being identified. I’ve always got ID on me. My car is registered with my name and address, I wear a lanyard most of the time. It’s more how would the police know who to inform if I was in an accident and how can I get the correct emergency contact information registered somewhere so that the right people are informed iyswim!

Check your phone for ICE. Check your wallet for name on cards. If they have your name they can do a search for your address.

Poor guy! That reminds me, I have an id bracelet from parkrun https://shop.parkrun.com/products/parkrun-wristband that I wear if running without my phone, you can also have an emergency number and medical details printed on it. Lots of brands do them I think, but it was handy to have one with my parkrun barcode on it.

Police don’t seem to know about ICE on phones. When I was hit as a pedestrian, in between bouts of unconsciousness I told them my phone was set up. They tried to use my smashed up face for Face ID and then took my phone password from me in my confusion. They phoned from my phone to my NOK.

When my dad collapsed on the way to work (in his uniform) the police called his employer and found out next of kin from them. They turned up at my mum's door.

I have a friend who lives on her own, her only daughter lives an hour away, and I’ve only met her once. The friend was helping out at an event and suffered a (not serious) head injury, no one else at the event knew her. It occurred to me then that if anything was to happen to her that no one in our village would know how to get hold of her daughter. I’ve now got her daughter’s number and she has mine and she has shared these with her immediate neighbours.

A phone doesn't need unlocking for ICE though, not with iPhone anyway.
If it's a pedestrian or someone found having been attacked or collapsed what would the steps be if you don't use their phone?

This was a very sobering realisation for me when my marriage ended. It dawned on me that "my person" was no longer my person and broke my heart.

I have sometimes wondered how long it would take to realise if I didn't wake up one morning.. Especially when my kids are at their Dads. 😥

My ex husband died in his home and wasn't found for several weeks. The alarm was raised by neighbours due to smell. My children were contacted via Facebook by the person who had raised the alarm.

There seems to be a real gap for a database that people can contribute to voluntarily by adding their own details and their emergency contacts to. Would be really helpful for emergency services in all these non typical situations where there is not a spouse sitting at home at the same address!

My car and dh's car / drivers licence etc all registered at same address. Work lanyard who have my next of kin details. Bank card always in back of phone they would have my name at least, rarely go anywhere without my phone. I'm signed up for organ donation too and am pretty sure you have to list your next of kin for that.

ICE on your phone front screen (can be seen without unlocking phone) 👍

Facial recognition, it took the police about 6 hours from finding my unwell relative, to calling me. Impressive.

They can ask for Council Tax, Council Housing, Social Work, DVLA, HMRC and NHS records but generally only in an emergency situation where standard GDPR legislation can be exempted.

They can't just wander in to your local Health Centre and demand to view records without making a formal request though unless there is an immediate threat to life.

I know someone who died suddenly at home and was found by a neighbour. The police traced her family who she hadn’t had contact with in decades, and wouldn’t deal with friends who were her close support system. It was a mess.

I’ve wondered this too! Although more the other way round - as in how would I find out if something happened to one of my kids

OP I wouldn’t worry about the police telling your teens - they would be sensitive and they would ensure they had someone else to contact and call round.

highly unlikely anyway!!

I guess it shows the importance of carrying a form of identification and making sure NHS next of kin details are up to date.
It also brings awareness to people's support networks and the way they live their lives.. People being aware of their whereabouts etc.

I work in healthcare and it's really eye opening the way some people live, especially elderly people that haven't had children or are estranged.. Some are on the floor for 3-4 days until a neighbour hears them shouting out and can get help. Obviously once this happens, things are then put in place (careline SOS etc) but sometimes people don't realise how isolated they are until an emergency happens.

Whilst this database seems like a good idea in theory in practice it would be very difficult to maintain .
Also remember contacts can go on holiday , be in meetings and cannot be contacted , pass away , change their phone no etc .
Who would pay for the admin for this ?
Thankfully these situations are rare .

Some suggestions ( I’m from a family of cops )

Give details to your neighbours as your home address is their first point of call as all your ID , info , insurance etc leads to there .

Remember they are trained to handle these situations. If they turn up and find e.g 2 16 year olds only at the property they will ask them for a trusted family member or friend to come round if possible etc ..

I am single myself now so understand why you feel this way

That's a shame. Could have been addressed perhaps by the deceased having made a will naming one or two of her close friends as executors. That would have given them status to sort out the funeral and so forth. Without a will everything goes to your spouse, even if separated, or your nearest blood relatives if there is no spouse, no matter what your relationship with them was like.

How do you do that, please?

With my stepdad they found my brothers address in a notebook he had in his possession. They went to my brothers house and then blue lighted to mums house with my brother. By this time they probably were worried mum would hear before they got to her.

Literally the point of the ICE contact is you don’t have to go thorough the phone and you don’t need the PIN. On an IPHONE you just hold down the button or buttons depending the age of the model, and then select ‘medical ID’

Well. When my half sister was murdered in a fairly high profile case overseas the Sun journalist had managed to make it to my front door within a few hours. So I’m guessing emergency services wouldn’t have a problem.