To already be overwhelmed by Xmas

[snappyandsnippy]

Went to the first of our Xmas gatherings yesterday and left feeling overstimulated and overstuffed with food!

Have tried to pare back the Xmas madness, but the calendar always seems to be bursting regardless.

Help!! What is everyone doing to stay sane in the next few weeks? Or AIBU to expect to stay sane in December?? 🤣

You're in control of where you go, who with, how often and how much you choose to eat.

I love it all and a busy calendar makes me happy.

But if you're unhappy then just stop doing it.

I have been doing my own version of this for twenty years. Even every outfit is organised even shoes and coats. It means I can enjoy December without feeling stressed - or look after dc if they are poorly, I don’t think I could cope otherwise.

The only thing I would suggest as obv not everyone has time now, is take a few days off and blast through it in one go.

What’s embarrassing is your lack of empathy

I’m sorry to hear this 🌸

I hear you. I think the challenge I have is that I don’t want my DC to miss out on key Xmas events just because I want to be perimenopausal social recluse.

Similar to another PP I realised a few years ago that avoiding all the extra food is really important for enjoying the whole season. The gradual creep of fat and sugar saps my energy, makes me look puffy and tired and within a couple of weeks my clothes are feeling tight and I just feel a bit tired and crap.

Now I stick to my usual mealtimes, say no thanks to mince pies & stollen just because, Stash any boxes of chocolates given, ignore the bowls of chips and dips and so on. Christmas Eve I let loose and that evening we have a smorgasbord board with all the Christmas goodies on offer so I get my fix, and on December 27th make sure we all go for a big family walk to get some fresh air and start to rein it in again. I still enjoy all the different meals out but stick to the main rather keep shovelling in the extra stuff.

Sounds dull I know but it means I now enjoy the whole season, and I felt very much like you a few years ago.

Sorry I know you weren’t just talking about food. It’s just that I realised it took my energy when I needed it the most!

That’s actually really helpful! I know what you mean about overindulging being energy sapping!

Nobody has to stuff themselves with food.

Our December is already filling up fast, but much of it is events involving Gdcs - a Nativity play, plus Gdd1 is in two choirs, so among other things there are 2 🎄concerts coming up, plus a ‘self-inflicted’ one at the Albert Hall. I expect to enjoy them all, though - preferably with a glass of mulled wine!

DH and I decided not to do Christmas at all anymore. We abhore the tat and how forced it is. We are done.

We've told all the family we don't want cards or presents, and we certainly won't be getting any for anyone else. We have a 3 year old and we just don't engage with it at all. We observe the winter solstice and enjoy the feeling that the darkest days are at an end and for us, it's the new year. We observe that with a meal and watch the sunset and sunrise. Give offerings to the earth and tell stories of the Holly King.

We had a Christmas lunch last week with a local group. Unfortunately, no venues nearby doing Christmas lunches this year. Decided to host a bring and share. It went well, minimal Christmas decs as just no time, but had Christmas tablecloth and tree.
Celebrating full-on Christmas with friends next weekend, 7th December, as no family to celebrate with on Christmas Day. After that, no invitations received so no events to go to. Frantically wrapping presents, packing the van, making sure our food contributions are not forgotten. Just one more thing, my dear friend decided, as we were staying the weekend, that I could have a stall at the local school, where our children went, at their Christmas Fayre. Busy making crackers, cards and bunting to sell. Thanks, dear friend. 😘

You sound frazzled already.

I do think a great deal of this overwhelm comes from trying to do absolutely everything, everywhere, with everyone. We learnt years ago to take a more curated approach.

For example, we only attend two Christmas events before the 20th, both of which I host.

And I always prepare the food myself because I can’t bear the beige buffet panic I see elsewhere. Yes, it’s exhausting whipping up three different canapés and a proper pudding after a full day, but I feel so much better knowing I haven't inhaled a load of processed junk. Just because it's December doesn't mean you shouldn't be disciplined.

The calendar only bursts if you let it.

Perhaps December would feel less overwhelming if you stopped trying to keep up with everyone and just edited? It’s amazing how restful it becomes when you choose quality over quantity.

I work on the premise that invites are just that.
An invitation, not a summons.

“Beige buffet panic” - such a great turn of phrase 😂

I know the feeling

Tried some jeans on the other day and man were they tight on the waist, bursting at the seams almost

I don’t have any Christmas events or gatherings planned. Just Christmas Day when my elderly parents and adult daughters are coming.

Your DC may be glad to have some events after Christmas so look to do some afterwards.

Just don’t go! I’ve got 1 thing booked and that’s it. Can’t be bothered with it all. It’s cold, rainy and windy. I’d rather be at home in the warm.

9 families! I can’t think of anything worse! No wonder you feel overwhelmed. Just decline the invites. There’s nothing wrong with keeping things low key. It’s not a ’special time’ if you don’t enjoy it.

It's really the one time of year where you are EXPECTED to be a bit of a glutton! Not that you have to be one take note..... But it is hard to be very disciplined all the time with temptation all around. I think that's because so many gatherings and events knock out the routine somewhat, like a child goes a bit doo lally when out of their routine.

I use the 16/8 fasting method all year round and it works great, I adjust the hours if I'm going out over Christmas, and yes I over indulge in the eating window, but it still keeps me a bit on track. I don't have that many things to go to this year happily for me. I think a lot of people are battening down the hatches a bit now and being very selective of when and where they go, well I am for sure!

I feel your pain, OP! I enjoyed Christmas when I was single and could pace myself a bit, but now with DH and the kids it’s a lot busier. We have 2 kids, one very easily overwhelmed and one who gets overexcited and then goes into a stinking mood, so I try to keep it vaguely calm for their sakes as well as my own, but DH loves Christmas and wants to do EVERYTHING! He’s from a big family who have a ton of Christmas traditions and I just find it stressful and not at all enjoyable, particularly when I’m trying to juggle the kids in the corner!

I try to focus on enjoying Christmas Day, and avoid as much of the buildup as I can.