Is this NPD? Is he an a-hole or both?

[Travelfairy]

DD is 9. Has been cast in a film and been filming all week 2 hours drive away. We stayed in a hotel but came home this evening. On way home I rang DH and asked had he gone to shops to get milk/bread etc essentials. He said 'no and that I never told him we needed this stuff' and why was i waiting til 8pm to tell him and that he wasnt going out at 8pm and to get the stuff myself with DD. He doesn't believe as a 45 year old man he should just restock things he used (he was here 3 days by himself).

She has been filming for 8 hours and a 2 hour drive. After me standing my ground he went and when we got home to 'punish' us he is basically ignoring DD. This is her first film. She was ecstatic to come home and tell him. All he said to her was 'move out of way' when he tried to get passed her on stairs.

I am guessing I'll get lots of LTB replies and honestly I'm edging towards this more and more as weeks go by. How could he do that to a child?

Any ideas how i can stop DD's little heart breaking? She was crying going to bed that shes so disappointed about how he behaved. I basically just reinforced how proud I am of her and that his behaviour is very bad. He is trying to get at me through her. She's such a gem of a child. She doesnt deserve this. He doesnt deserve a child like her or my DS who is also a brilliant kid. I'm so sick of him.

Nail on head

I feel you are right. I have to start finding out what I am entitled to etc if I leave him. I'm scared tbh

I'm not minimising his behaviour in the slightest but if you were driving rather than using public transport could you not have picked the groceries up on the way home?

My 9 year old had been filming for 9 hours and we were on a 2 hour drive home having been away for 3 days. I rang to say we were on way home and asked had he been to shops. It wasn't fair to my DD to drag her round a supermarket at 10pm at night when she had another hectic day ahead the following day! It wasnt us who used up the milk/bread/loo roll etc made much more sense for him to pop to supermarket which btw is a 3 min walk from our house. 1 min drive.

You are married right? You are entitled to a share of the assets plus child support so go and see a solicitor. Do not show your DC that this is normal and subject them to further abuse. He is a weapons grade asshole.

He is actually very success in his career but always has this kind of fragile ego although he can come across as quite arrogant.

And your daughter has threatened that by being successful herself. He'll do all he can to make sure she never succeeds at anything in life and will punish her if she does.

Omg, I had never looked at it this way.....he always says he would never be jealous of his kids....but his Dad is insanely jealous of DH and its embarrassingly obvious.....so maybe history repeating itself. I think actually his own upbringing explains a lot of how he behaves.....not excusing it...but even now his parents are all about themselves.....even on DH bday, he will ring them that evening so they can wish him a happy birthday because they wont voluntarily ring him. They are also incredibly self absorbed.

What an absolute arse, first for not getting the basics in - that's just 'stuff you do' (well, it should be), but more importantly for turning his daughter's success into something with a sour, tainted memory attached. Complete arse.

I know. He started muttering under his breath last night that he doesnt get physical pleasure and has to turn to food for it. I'm honestly done but it's a bad time of year for pulling the plug. Don't want to ruin Christmas especially for DD.