Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU re: bus seating etiquette?

34 replies

tokennamechange · 28/11/2025 17:26

reading the cafe seat "grabbing" thread while in a vaguely similar situation so thought I'd post live!

On a longish bus journey (national express/flixbus coach type rather than local, so everyone has pre-booked and is guaranteed a seat, just not their choice of one unless they've paid to reserve it). I got on it quite early and sat down when coach was almost empty. Gradually filled up a bit (although still only just over half full, so lots of seats free, just not any double ones together) until shortly before we were due to depart a group of about 5-6 people climbed on.

One woman was giving a running passive aggressive commentary as she walked up the aisle, "Oh mum there's no seats left next to each other. Loads of people are just sitting on their own so there aren't any seats together. I hate it when people do that. We'll just have to sit separately. It's so annoying when people take a seat each..."

AIBU to think that she was BU? If a coach/train/bus/table etc isn't full, sitting next to someone when there are multiple empty double seats available would be weird, right? Surely normal etiquette is that everybody goes for their own double seat first, and it's only once those are all taken you sit next to someone?

Obviously if it gets busier you accept that someone might then come and sit next to you and can't hog a double seat, but surely nobody pre-emptively chooses to sit next to a stranger and be less comfortable for several hours, on the off chance that more people might turn up and want to sit together?

Even then, you need to accept it's first come, first served? If you want to sit together, make the effort to get there early!

If one of their party had sat next to me but asked if I'd move so they could sit together, I would have. In fact I might even have offered, as by then it's a choice between sitting by one random or another, so no skin off my nose, in fact sitting by another lone traveller would probably have been quieter than sitting next to someone craning over the aisle to chat to their mate.

However, because they didn't, WIBU to ignore the passive aggressive moaning and just sit tight in my double seat, rather than offering it to them?

(also if it makes a difference, all of the group were adults, again I'm not completely heartless and would have offered the seat to a small child and parent rather than expecting them to sit separately).

OP posts:
notallwhowanderare · 28/11/2025 23:14

Our school auditorium is enormous, with just a couple of big ceiling fans and gets very very very hot in summer. Best seats are those on the end near the opened doors and you can then escape to the loo without disrupting the whole row as well.

One year, a staff member got up while we were waiting for everything to start and tried to force us to move up to the middle for late comers. Nope. I got here early to get the seat I wanted, tough fucking shit if you want my better seat, you are not having it :)

Obviously, I moved my feet and legs and bag to let people pass, and it was actually no hassle anyway for them to get past there was plenty of leg room in front, just long wide rows, which should have been split into smaller ones with gaps down the middle, but weren't.

On a bus, I always sit on the outside seat, for several perfectly valid reasons, and will happily move to let someone have the inside seat.

It is not your job to accomnodate people who are not as organised as you and not their right to demand it. And tough shit if they want your seat.

Obviously, I will make exceptions for genuine need/disability etc.

WorriedRelative · 28/11/2025 23:16

I think you are right, but it annoys me when groups get on together, sit separately and then leave couples groups separated.

I got on a similar type of bus recently and a family of four sat three on the four person seat and one on a seat for two. DH and I got on last and I ended up squished between sleeping teenager and sleeping Dad of teenagers while DH sat next to the mother.

They offered to swap for the return journey (not at the comfort break on the outbound journey though) but wanted DH to sit on the back row with me and the two teenagers. I said no DH and I were both taller so this gave us more leg room.

We did another trip and had the same, couples and groups all sitting separately and not budging up when others get on.

notallwhowanderare · 28/11/2025 23:17

WorriedRelative · 28/11/2025 23:16

I think you are right, but it annoys me when groups get on together, sit separately and then leave couples groups separated.

I got on a similar type of bus recently and a family of four sat three on the four person seat and one on a seat for two. DH and I got on last and I ended up squished between sleeping teenager and sleeping Dad of teenagers while DH sat next to the mother.

They offered to swap for the return journey (not at the comfort break on the outbound journey though) but wanted DH to sit on the back row with me and the two teenagers. I said no DH and I were both taller so this gave us more leg room.

We did another trip and had the same, couples and groups all sitting separately and not budging up when others get on.

Tough shit.

TheTowerAtMidnight · 28/11/2025 23:25

UnctuousUnicorns · 28/11/2025 20:19

This happened with DH and me one journey. I politely asked a man if he wouldn't mind moving so that DH and I could sit together. He agreed to. Nice man, we were very grateful. 🙂

Much nicer than me as I wouldn't have moved for you. It's pathetic that two adults can't sit apart for the duration of a bus journey.

Wheelz46 · 28/11/2025 23:26

In those circimstances, no way would I give up my window seat!

Friendlygingercat · 29/11/2025 00:32

Like you are going to care overmuch about the opinion of randoms you will never meet again!

UnctuousUnicorns · 29/11/2025 01:03

TheTowerAtMidnight · 28/11/2025 23:25

Much nicer than me as I wouldn't have moved for you. It's pathetic that two adults can't sit apart for the duration of a bus journey.

😅 There are pleasant, generous people in the world, like that man. And then there are miserable cunts people like you...

SomewhereInMyHeart · 29/11/2025 01:12

thebrollachan · 28/11/2025 23:08

When I did O-level Chemistry (back in the megalithic era) I was taught that electrons fill up orbitals like people fill up double seats on a bus - no double occupancy until every orbital has one electron each.

So it's a Law of Nature!

Oh man that was the first thing I thought of too when I saw this thread! 🤣 you explained it better than I could’ve!

ClawsandEffect · 29/11/2025 01:31

That sounds very like my NDN's adult daughter. She's fully functioning and highly intelligent and autistic. For a long time I didn't know, and was just a bit put out by her bluntness (to the point of rudeness) but now I've realised, it makes complete sense. She's a total sweetie so would be mortified if she thought she was being rude.

But that is the sort of thing she'd say, LOUDLY, with no idea of how her words could come across to others.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page