To keep DS from school until it’s safe.

[Outofhand]

Name change as very outing.

DS in year 7, has been having issues with two boys in year 9. They are known to us as we used to live in the same road 6 years ago. They very occasionally played together then but weren’t friends as such. There’s been no contact since we moved 6 years ago.

DS started year 7 and said one of them had seen him and said “you’re DS name” DS confirmed. Didn’t think much of it.

Over the past few months the two boys have occasionally followed DS and said silly things like DS is gay etc. We didn’t think much of it and told DS not to engage and just ignore. No threats or any inclinations of what has now happened.

DS came home yesterday and said the boys were following him during lunch, one told him they had a gun in their bag, DS made a remark back saying the only thing he had in his bag is a dildo. Thinking this would lighten the situation up and show he wasn’t scared. The boy then said “I’ve got a knife” DS ignored continued walking and again was met with “I said I’ve got a F-ing knife”, DS again carried on walking and ignored. Boys then said “watch your back DSname”

DS stupidly didn’t go to staff, he has issues with telling, part of him was scared to and the fear of making things even worse. Once he had told me I’ve emailed the school and called the police on the non emergency number. Police came today and weren’t very helpful, no proof or evidence of the boy having a knife or gun, apparently it isn’t a direct threat either. They’ve referred to the youth policing team and are handing back to the school to deal with.

Today was an inset day so I’ve heard nothing from the school about any plan. DS is due in school on Monday. I’m very apprehensive to send him without knowing exactly what the school will do and have in place to keep DS safe.

Am I being overprotective? Overthinking it all? I just can’t help thinking I’d rather keep him home and the school be annoyed than getting a call to say he’s been hurt or more.

From.what you've said, I would be informing school we need a meeting to discuss the plan with my son, and my son won't be in school until the meeting happens.

I'm not one for having my child out of school but due to recent incidents in schools in the UK, I'd err on the side of caution.

I’d move him, school appear to not be taking this seriously.

I would move his school. They aren’t taking it seriously, both should be immediately expelled.

I’d keep him home until you’re happy with what the school have in place. If they don’t respond in a way that you deem to be satisfactory, move him schools.

You probably need to phone them on Monday but yes I would be keeping him off until I know that the relevent people are aware of the incident and that they have a plan in place to deal with it.

Yes I would keep him off, it could well be these two boys are just playing at being hard men but I wouldn't be taking the chance just in case.

I would advise the school your DS will be at home until the boys are expelled. You could let the governors know and tell them you need to know your son needs to be safe. If there is no action advise them you will be contacting local press and television companies as they will not like adverse publicity. The head teacher needs to be taking a firm line on the boys as no one wants their child attending a school where the head is dithering around over an important issue regarding school safety. Too many children have been killed.

I think you have to take this seriously.

Major safeguarding issue, the boys are intimidating and threatening your son, as well as being homophonic in their language. Demand a meeting with the headteacher, have it minuted and get them to tell you how they will ensure your son's safety. Definitely not a sweep under the carpet issue. Sonnhas been physically threatened and not back in school till dealt with robustly. I would hazard a guess the boys have form for this behaviour previously.

There is nothing on this earth more precious than your baby. It’s unlikely but if you sent him to school and something happened you’d hate yourself forever.
don’t send him to school.
I would contact everyone. Including social services make a self referral. This child’s parents also need speaking to.
make it CLEAR to school your keeping him off as a SAFEGUARDING concern until their is a meeting with you AND the bullying child’s parents present. This will hopefully scare that horrible kid. Honestly it’s your baby. Don’t matter how old they are xxx

Absolutely this!!

I wouldn't be sending my child back to that school.

A couple of years ago, I would have said contact the school but send him in. Now I'd say be on the safe side and keep him home until the school acts.

Your son should have told staff on the day. There is nothing the school can do now to get concrete evidence about whether the boys had a knife or not. They can't build a time machine to go back and search the other boys' bags to see what they had on them. You should have phoned, not emailed, the school immediately when he told you.

Agree

I did try phoning the school several times. I told the receptionist the seriousness of it and she put me through to several staff members, non answered. I left voicemails then emailed the head, deputy heads, and year heads. Of course he should have gone to someone straight away, we’ve told him this, as did the police. He was terrified, froze in the moment and just wanted to come home. He’s 11, a very young 11 and has never experienced anything like this. Hindsight is of course a wonderful thing.

Poor child of course he didnf know how to handle it. Im really suprised at the police,are you not city based?

My child would not be going back to this school.

He’s being bullied and school needs to ensure that he is safe whilst he’s in their care.

I wouldn’t send my child in until school had confirmed how they were going to do this.

But I’d also be careful not to make your son a victim.
He has acted in the right way by showing he’s not scared of them and if they think they can’t get to him they will leave him alone.

I’d make him have a couple days off until you speak to school but not too much time off.

I would be more concerned about walking back from school - is there anyone who can walk behind him from a distance - particularly any muscular guys that can tell the kids to fuck off if they hear anything.

How are the school not taking it seriously? They were informed when they were shut and they probably haven't got access to their email when they're somewhere else on an INSET day. I'm a teacher. By taking it seriously people must mean contactable 24/7. Schools aren't an emergency service.

Also, the threshold for expulsion is extremely high and set by policy not by schools themselves. Please complain to the Department of Education and your Local Education Authority if you have an issue.

The age of criminal responsibility in England is 10. If the cops don't wish to pursue an allegation of threatening words and behaviour, again, not the school's fault.

OK, here's what you might consider doing:

Find out who the designated safeguarding lead is and contact them. Say you won't be sending your kid to school until you've had a formal meeting.

Ask for a risk assessment.

Provide a timeframe of 48 hours.

If not happy with any outcome within this timeframe, then contact the head and keep kiddo off school in the meantime.

If the head can't/doesn't help within 24 hours, then report it to LADO - local authority.

Be aware this might have a community element and your kid could be at risk. Keep an eye on his phone / SM.

Also, kids say some crazy stuff. They basically don't always understand the concept of consequence. There's a good chance they were just chatting shit. But they need to be pulled up sharp and that IS the school's role. The DSL or head should be able to tell you exactly what steps they're taking. You need to be very clear with them that your son can't return until his safety is assured.

Sounds as if you're skint everything right. Sorry this happened to your lad.

Tell the school that you expect them to do an assembly about this sort of thing too. They should be making it clear to all of the pupils that this is not ok behaviour even if its a wind up

Also I wouldn't child within a thousand miles of the school or those boys again. A few years ago you could safely assume it was just kids being unpleasant and winding up a first year. But not these days.

Keep him off until you have a satisfactory response from the school.

I had a similar situation with DS, a boy sent him messages saying he was going to come to DS college to stab him, he was going to rape me and shoot DH.

DS had the presence of mind to screenshot all of this so we did have proof. The police and the college took it very seriously and we were advised to keep DS off for a couple of days.

The boy in question was already known to the police and shortly after he turned 18 he was arrested for something else, not released on bail because of all the other stuff, and last heard of in prison.

Take it seriously.

No way would my son be stepping foot back in that school unless those boys were expelled

I'm a teacher.

I'm very sorry that this has happened to your son. It must have ben terrifying for him.

This should be treated as an urgent safeguarding issue by the school.

However, it's been an inset day today. With no children in school, there was nothing they could do to take things forward today. Ideally someone should have been found to call you back with an issue like this, but if staff were in meetings all day and the receptionist didn't physically go and find someone to tell them they needed to come to the phone, they would likely not have access to voicemails or be checking emails to know that you needed to be contacted urgently. You can't expect a response over the weekend - as a poster said above - schools aren't required to provide a 24/7 safeguarding service.

As you have emailed, though, the SLT should pick this up over the weekend and contact you on Monday morning to discuss the procedure for dealing with the situation. If they don't, call them and ask to speak to the DSL (should be the Head) as a matter of urgency and don't be fobbed off until you get through. As you've reported it to the police, though, the Head should have been informed by them as to what is happening and this will have made it an urgent priority for the school to get sorted as soon as school opens on Monday.

They will need to first of all carry out an investigation. The school will need to interview your son, the boys involved, and any witnesses. As your son didn't report it in the moment, it's going to be more complicated, especially as there is no concrete evidence.

That being said, ask to see your son's phone - I'd be surprised if there aren't nasty messages being sent on snapchat or instagram that your son is hiding from you.

While the school are carrying out the investigation, they should act to keep your son safe by separating him from the other boys during the school day. How they do this will depend on the school's policy.

The school should be able to talk you through what their procedure is for dealing with this kind of situation, but please be aware that for safeguarding reasons, the school cannot inform you of the punishment other children are receiving. As such, while it may feel to you that the school aren't doing anything, there will be plenty happening behind the scenes that you are not allowed to know.

You are perfectly entitled to keep your son off school until the situation is dealt with to your satisfaction. You can inform the school office of this on Monday morning.

If on Monday you feel the school isn't taking the situation seriously, you can call the Local Authority Designated Officer (LADO) at your council and report the school to them for not safeguarding your son. They will then get involved to move things along.

I think my original post has come across that I feel the school haven’t done enough. I don’t, it’s the police that I felt weren’t doing enough as they are handing it back to the school. Both boys are known to the police but they didn’t say what for.

DS phone has nothing on it, he rarely uses it, doesn’t have Snapchat or any social media pages. As I said he’s a very young 11.

All these posts have been so helpful with what to ask the school for, I had no idea where to begin.