Family loyalties

[Candlecosy]

I’m not going to say who I am in this situation but I’d like to know what people think to this and where your loyalties would lie.

Emma is married to a man who is not white and they have children together.

Last Christmas time, Emma was spending time with some family, Emma’s husband and children weren't there, and one of the relatives Bob made openly racist comments about Emma’s husband, along the lines of, “she married a dirty n, when challenged, Bob stood by what he had said and continued with the openly and blatant racist remarks. Bob also made mean personal comments to Emma about her appearance and was goading/laughing at her.

Emma left and hasn’t seen Bob since. Emma didn’t know Bob but it turned out that he is well known for being openly racist and having outbursts.

The rest of Emma’s family have stayed in touch with Bob citing that he is frail and elderly and that they’ve asked Bob not to mention Emma and her husband.

Emma feels betrayed citing that Bob is not a close relative, yet her close family have continued to keep in touch with Bob after what happened last Christmas.

Is Emma bu to feel that her family are being disloyal?

No she is not being unreasonable and her family are the biggest shower of shites. Who cares if Bob is old and frail. It has been commonly known for a lot of years that if you are a racist you are an arsehole and Bob should have been put in his place years ago. It is shocking that non of her family are standing up for her, her husband, and children.

Unfortunately there are still a lot of people who go with the 'hes old and frail' disclaimer for outright racist/poor behaviour. The only time that may be a reasonable response is if the fraility is actually dementia because then it is difficult to 'correct' opinions, but her wider family can still close it down when it starts with 'we don't say that here' type conversation. Emma is likely to have to see her close family separately from Bob or hope that he stops attending soon if the close family won't shut it down.

If anyone annoys my kids or any close member of my family they are dead to me. That’s awful OP.