Return from mat leave, quit?

[ScarmbledLuke2007]

First time mum. I had to go back to work when my baby was 24 weeks (I'm British but live abroad). She's 18 months now and I'm burnt out. Those first 6 months back were so brutal. I used to be a very high performer pre-mat leave. I am just doing my job now.

I hate it. I hate being away from my baby. I hate how small she was when I went back to work. I hate how fat and and ugly and tired I've become. I hate all of it. I hate my bosses for making me go back so early. I despise the people i work for now. I used to respect them and like them. Not anymore.

My day is: get up, spend time with baby for 30 minutes - one hour, work 9-10 hours, spend 2 hours max in the evening with her, work another 2-4 hours, go to bed at midnight, wake up and repeat. She still wakes once a night most nights (early morning) so sleep is a bit broken.

Weekends are for more work, chores and childcare. I have no time for myself whatsoever. I have nothing good or enjoyable in my life except my toddler.

AIBU to just quit and take a year off?

Or is this how everyone feels after maternity leave?

We'd have to sell the house, fire the nanny and leave the country (I am very much the higher earner). DH makes a lot less, we can't live here on his wage. So me quitting feels....nuclear.

In spite of how I feel about work, apparently my performance is strong. LOL. And the money I make is excellent and allows us to give her a great future.

I can't cut down on my hours or go part time. It's not the done thing here and i have no employment rights.

I was quite relieved to go back to work after maternity leave so no, that’s not how everyone feels. However it was tough, the juggling and stress and feeling like you’re a shit mum and a shit employee.I recognise a lot of the things you describe- I think I have a lower tolerance of bullshit for work related issues/people now! I’m not sure what to recommend- if being a full time mum is what you need to be right now then do it. They’re not little for long. Can you take extended leave?
it does get easier once you find a rhythm. I felt like I was getting back to normal once my daughter was about 3 ….then I had another one ha!

They are only young once. So I’d say do it. Obviously talk to your partner first.

i was also main earner, I went back to work when daughter was 11 months old and I hated it. I lasted a year then stepped down. I work for the same company but do 2 over night shifts a week. I’m much happier and I get to spend quality time with my daughter.

You’re the main breadwinner with a low-earning husband, and you would have to sell your house and leave the country if you quit your job?

Forget it.

You’re not going to get the time she was 6 months to 18 months back, so stop dwelling on what you think you missed out on. Life is expensive and you need to provide for your daughter. If you think she needs more one-to-one time with a parent, your husband can become a SAHP or go part-time.