To ask how you erase them from your heart

[SunnyOchreNewt]

I've known him for most of my life and thought we were soul mates… and now I learn that I'm annoying and a burden and so many other uncomplimentary things. And it's no use trying to talk about it because talking to me is like talking to a brick wall. Apparently.

I need to give up on this relationship. But all I can remember is the good times (and there were a lot of them).

No contact and time. I think that’s the only answer.

funnily enough, I have just been going through and deleting old notes on my phone. Loads on there from two years ago, all heartpourings about my ex. Things I wanted to say, things I needed to express. I was so sad and confused back then.

Reading them today, they are like the musings of a stranger. I am indifferent. Maybe a little stunned I felt that way about him.

You will get to this place too. It’s very relaxing and I wish you all the best for your brilliant future.

Delete their number and message/whatsapp threads. Scrub them out of your day to day as much as possible.

Take things an hour at a time.

Delete, block on every platform, and shag someone else.

The good times are nice memories but are clearly not how life would be in future, so keep them as memories only - you had an experience, now time has moved you on and you are and will become evermoreso a different person. And that's ok, that's how life is.

As time goes by the hurt will lessen. I'm sorry you're hurting.
for you, and for him.

You take back your power. If someone says you are annoying and a burden, fuck them!

Take the love you gave them and pour it into yourself! You only get once chance at this life and you are amazing on your own and you will be fine! You are stronger than you think.

Look at that relationship as a long chapter in your book, but your book is not over yet.

Don’t try to talk to him about it, he doesn’t deserve anymore of your time!!!!!

Hobbies and me time x

You can’t erase your feelings. Leave the bastard and then feel and process all the feelings that are coming to you. Hurt, disappointment, love, loss, whatever it may be. Process your feelings and then move on with your life. You deserve better.

I agree with PPs - block and delete - if you have things you want to say get a notebook and write them out (or do notes on your phone) it really really helps plus as PP says you get to look back in years time and realise how they no longer affect you. This also helps with future healing as you know you’ll get over it.

it’s pants though - hope you’re okay

Find your anger!! You deserve so much more.

Instagram

Michaeltothemax101

Hes absolutely brilliant at helping put relationships into perspective and offering insights into why you feel this way and how to move on.

*Make sure you put the name in properly including the 101. Others are copy cats.

You can never totally get rid of the hurt it will always be there.
But I found journaling useful for all the overwhelming feelings.

First of all, as pp say, you need to block him.

Remember that every relationship and marriage has lots of good times… days, years.Otherwise we wouldn't enter into a relationship with them to start with.

For me, I found my inner anger which helped me leave him and from there, there was no going back. As far as he was concerned, my heart turned to stone. All I needed to do was think about the way he treated me and made me feel. Why would I want to hold onto someone like him? I realised I deserved better.

Leave the past behind because it stops you moving forward. He is no longer the person you met. He has changed. He’s someone else now.

I agree with PP’s that journaling is very helpful. Write down what you’re feeling, pros and cons of the relationship, and anything you want to say to him (so that you don’t IRL).
As time goes on, look back at what you’ve written and notice that you dont feel quite the same (my journals from January are huge rants! They’re not now).
You’ll always have the memories but the attachment reduces as does the strength of your emotions.
It took me a long time for my anger at my ex’s disrespectful behaviour and future faking to subside. But now I can see how stressed and anxious I was with him and I’m not any more. I can remember the good times without wanting to go back to that dynamic.
Time is the best healer, which is easy to say but it really is. Maintain no contact otherwise it sets you back and you have to start again to heal.

Thank you ladies! You are all brilliant. I am putting your wise words into practice. 👊😻👢🚯