Do you get over being low contact with an emotionally immature Mum

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After years and years of a really tricky and frustrating relationship with my Mum; not being listened to, constant digs, no idea about my life or interest in my kids and many hurtful things over the years I’ve finally seen the light and understand she is emotionally immature and not capable of the relationship I would like/need.
I am trying to lower my contact but the guilt is unbearable. She’s no idea she is the way she is and is because she had a traumatic childhood so I constantly feel bad that she doesn’t mean to behave the way she does. She is doing the best she can 👌🏼 think but it is very surface level and transactional. I was provided for financially and not abused but the emotional side of my life was empty. But I have to make some changes as it’s not working for me or my own family anymore.
My sibling puts their head in the sand about it so feel like I’m quite alone with it all.
Does it get easier? Does the embarrassment go? Would love anyone’s views if you’re in a similar situation x

You just learn to live with the relationship you have.

Other people’s mums may be a rock of security, or a powerhouse of encouragement.

Ours is an extra responsibility and source of problems.
When you actually articulate and own that, it gets easier to manage. You get to choose what you put into the relationship, knowing what you will get back.

You work out what are real needs of hers, what are wants, and what capacity you have to meet them. It may be that unless it’s ’pick me up off the floor, I need an ambulance’, you don’t want to know. It may be that you can pop in for an hour every weekend.
It may be that you can’t actually cope with any contact at all. Those are choices you get to make for yourself and your dc.

Is she a better grandma than mum? Some are.

Thank you for your message and don’t ask me why there’s a random emoji in my first post!
Really good advice. Im just finding the guilt related to doing any of these things is eating me up. Im worried what she’ll tell other people about me, bad daughter etc
No she’s exactly the same with her grandchildren as she was with me. No real interest or connection, makes it about herself and thinks sweets and money makes up for it when she sees them. She’s getting worse with age with them and that has made me finally make the decision to go low contact I think.

It’s hard. It isn’t what you want. But it’s out of your power. So you focus on what you can influence, which is making your life work for you.
Mine is now old and vulnerable as well as incredibly annoying. So I bite my tongue and go through the motions enough to keep her feeling reasonably mollified. She can be an absolute harpy, and life is easier when she’s not angry with you 😅

Very good advice. Definitely not what I want but it is what it is now.
Yes I think as mine is old too I’m just going to have to carry on as per and keep the peace!