Counselling was a disaster-so now I should just try amd shove it all back in a box

[WellThatDidntWork]

I've NC'd for this.

After years of "just getting on with it", I decided to try counselling to process a fairly traumatic childhood.

The counsellor was lovely and really skilled but honestly, it was just the most brutal experience, 4 weeks after the first session and I am still reeling from it, its brought up flashbacks and nightmares, re opened wounds and my emotions are just all over the place.

I cancelled the future sessions because I cannot live like this, they told me I probably have PTSD which is why I had such a strong reaction and need a certain type of therapy, but I just cannot face it.

Can I just stick everything back in the box and just ignore the past? Has anyone else had this experience with counselling? I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this.

And this can be a very powerful and effective mindset for many

opening those deep dark boxes would not serve you well if you are functioning and in control of your memories

it sounds like OP did not have PTSD as she was. It having symptoms of PTSD and the counsellor has helped her open up the trauma without laying the foundation of grounding / regulating / expectations

now hopefully the counsellor will do that skill fully -

if not, the counsellor is crap and at worse risky

I would not touch most counsellors with a barge poll

skills too basic / shoddy for real trauma

It sounds as if this moved far too fast. If you can face it I would consider starting again with someone more experienced

So as a person thats done emdr for several traumatic events. I found some memories st the end of a session didnt want to buried, like a form of torture. I used to walk down a corridor, open a room, open a box and dump the memory. Then lock the box, lock the room and lock the corridor.

For the ones I couldn't.....jn my mind, the box wouldnt close and it was terrifyingly unsettling. I then had to find or imagine my rescuer. For me it was Chris Hemsworth as Thor. Laugh all you want, he is my adult crush. Anyways he would take my memory, amd walk the corridor with me, open the room and put the memory in the box and lock it.

Now thinking about it, this was 4/5yrs ago.... I don't even know what that memory was. My other memories I processed successfully, I have to really pull them and they are now hazy. Im not reliving them, its just like any other memory I have.

I'm 100% not recommending EMDR as it is the NHS approach at the moment.
I paid privately and had it when it wasn't very well known about.
It's proven to be highly effective for PTSD and trauma and having had CBT I can attest to this.
It was amazing not having to do all that unpicking of minutae that happens with CBT. I had 4 or 5 sessions and it really was phenomenal. I didn't have to unpick loads of things with EMDR hence why I recommended to the OP.

I have a feeling EDMR will go the way of CBT over time.