Advice please - medical treatment and germs

[BellaTrixLeStrange1]

I could do with some advice please!

I’m about to start some medical treatment that involves going into hospital for infusions that work by knocking out my immune system. I’ve been told it will be dangerous for me to come into contact with certain illnesses - including chickenpox and Covid - and that if I get colds or flu etc that could lead to serious infections that could result in me being hospitalised. I hope this treatment will be temporary, but it will be for at least the next 3-6 months. I’m very anxious about it.

How on earth should I manage this with young step-children who are with us half the time and regularly have illnesses, as all kids do? Of course it doesn’t feel reasonable that they should have to stay away from their dad because they have a cold or minor illness. At the same time though, I really don’t want to end up being seriously unwell. I can’t afford to stay in a hotel any time the kids are sick, and I don’t have family living locally enough to go and stay with them regularly and still be able to get to work. We’ve had issues before with their mum refusing to do Covid tests or agreeing to them having flu jabs. They haven’t had chickenpox or been vaccinated.

What would you do in this situation? I’m a biological parent too, but my own kids are older and at uni etc so this is less of an issue.

Hopefully the hospital and others can advise- is there a forum for people who are on the same medication who can speak from experience?

How practical would it be to wear a mask when they are sick?

I would set up camp in your bedroom when the kids visit if they have a cold/viral illness. And ask your partner to sleep elsewhere for a few days. Realistically you can't expect him to not have his children if they've got a cold for a period of 3-6 months. If they are very poorly, they'd probably want to stay at home with their mum anyway. Do you have a good relationship with their mum? Can you talk to her about the risks for your health and come to an agreement that she keeps them home if they're poorly? If not, is there somewhere else (grandparents, extended family) that dad could take them if they're a bit under the weather?

Do you mean them or me? I think it could work either way, though wouldn’t be ideal for any of us. But it’s not out of the question.

Yes definitely not ideal and definitely no guarantee of not catching anything but it might be a possible solution.

I also use sterimar nasal rinse periodically when I’ve been around a lot of people to wash out my sinuses. It’s meant to clear out any potential germs.

As a starter make sure the kids have been vaccinated again chickenpox and flu.

The obvious thing would be to get yourself vaccinated against everything possible first - before you start treatment so that your immune system can be as ready as possible to deal with stuff. This is assuming that it's something like a biologic infusion - the advice is always to vaccinate before starting treatment because your immune system is impacted, not entirely 'erased'.

If it's a medication that removes all your previous immunity to everything and makes you unable to have any immune response to all new pathogens, though, that's a lot harder. Talking to the team would be helpful if you haven't already.

When DH was on the tail end of his bone marrow/ stem cell transplant & back home with us he was on strong anti-virals & antibiotics. (He had absolutely no immune system) Our DC got chicken pox, DH stayed in the bedroom as much as possible - away from the children & didn't contract it. I have immunity to it as I had it as a child - I don't know how much of a risk I was to him, but had no choice but to share a bed with him anyway.
As long as hands are washed and reasonable steps to reduce infection are taken, I don't know what more can be done.
Your health care team will be best placed to advise.

I’m on biologics and DS is now late primary age but nursery age was a nightmare for this.

Can DH covid test them before they come over? My DH and DS regularly test to keep me safe. If they have a cold keep yourself to one room and lots of cleaning.

can DH get them vaccinated?