Posting here for traffic, for support, for anything really.
I have panic and anxiety disorder. Came on in 2019, went on Escitalopram and worked my way up to 20mg. I remember going on to Escitalopram was quite difficult for a time and I had increased anxiety/panic/agitation. I don’t remember how long it lasted for, not horrifically long and it did eventually settle. I’ve had propranolol to use for panic as needed, and I’ve managed on this for 6 and a half years.
Earlier this year I began feeling depressed and noticing needing to use propranolol more. In my wisdom, I decided I might need to change medication. Had the conversation with my GP, tapered down by 5mg of Escitalopram every 5 days until I stopped and then I began on 20mg fluoxetine daily. I’d asked for this medication specifically after reading around, mainly wanted a weight neutral medication and it seemed to be what was needed for my problems. Began on 7th October. At first didn’t notice too much, if anything was a bit more awake. About 3 weeks in I noticed I was having more breakthrough panic, so spoke to my GP and she suggested to alternate days 20mg and 40mg to level at 30mg if I felt I needed to.
Before I did this I had a massive panic attack on 8th November which felt like it lasted for 48 hours relentlessly. OOH couldnt do much and told me to wait for my GP to open again, which I did. Initially they asked me to see the mental health nurse on the Tuesday, which I agreed to though I was still struggling with the panic. Mental health nurses didn’t change anything but managed to have a chat. On the Wednesday I had a pre-planned evening out and went, as I was so desperate to be normal and not have an impact on my life. It ended up being a disaster and getting home was a nightmare. I spent the night thinking I was dying but also had flu, which I only found out the following day. I called my GP on the Thursday, she advised to up to 40mg fluoxetine and then commence 80mg modified release propranolol, using 10mg if needed. She also prescribed a short course of diazepam for me. I took a 5mg tablet on the Thursday evening and the relief was something else…it took away the panic.
For about 48 hours I felt more settled, but then on the Sunday (16th) the panic hit again. I have kept the diazepam for emergency use only, rather than take it regularly and this has helped. Since then I have muddled through, mainly waking with panic which slowly settles and some peaks over the day. I’ve had some settled evenings, but overall it’s been very difficult and I’ve been struggling. I have been focussed on breathing/noticing breathing a lot which is quite distressing and I find it hard to relax/switch off from this. I get a tight chest and struggle on breathing, though my o2 sats and pulse is generally fine during this time. In this time I’ve been relying heavily on ChatGPT (I know) about the normal process and for reassurance, and I believe fluoxetine is one of the slowest SSRIs but it should start turning soon for me and hopefully the panic and focus on breathing sensations will fade. But I’m finding this incredibly difficult. Some days I feel like I’m losing my mind and that I’ll never be normal again. I’m currently signed off work and I am finding it difficult to do daily tasks. My GP has prescribed another short course of diazepam, but only 2mg this time. I know that 99.99999% all of this is specifically in my head, but it is distressing. I am regretting changing medications as I swore last time I’d never come off Escitalopram, but I didn’t have any other place to go as 20mg is the max and was worried about being depressed.
im not sure what I’m asking, so IABU for that I guess, but I just feel so alone and worried right now.