Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate that my mental health is this bad

12 replies

IsTheOffDutyDoneYet · 26/11/2025 11:43

Posting here for traffic, for support, for anything really.

I have panic and anxiety disorder. Came on in 2019, went on Escitalopram and worked my way up to 20mg. I remember going on to Escitalopram was quite difficult for a time and I had increased anxiety/panic/agitation. I don’t remember how long it lasted for, not horrifically long and it did eventually settle. I’ve had propranolol to use for panic as needed, and I’ve managed on this for 6 and a half years.

Earlier this year I began feeling depressed and noticing needing to use propranolol more. In my wisdom, I decided I might need to change medication. Had the conversation with my GP, tapered down by 5mg of Escitalopram every 5 days until I stopped and then I began on 20mg fluoxetine daily. I’d asked for this medication specifically after reading around, mainly wanted a weight neutral medication and it seemed to be what was needed for my problems. Began on 7th October. At first didn’t notice too much, if anything was a bit more awake. About 3 weeks in I noticed I was having more breakthrough panic, so spoke to my GP and she suggested to alternate days 20mg and 40mg to level at 30mg if I felt I needed to.

Before I did this I had a massive panic attack on 8th November which felt like it lasted for 48 hours relentlessly. OOH couldnt do much and told me to wait for my GP to open again, which I did. Initially they asked me to see the mental health nurse on the Tuesday, which I agreed to though I was still struggling with the panic. Mental health nurses didn’t change anything but managed to have a chat. On the Wednesday I had a pre-planned evening out and went, as I was so desperate to be normal and not have an impact on my life. It ended up being a disaster and getting home was a nightmare. I spent the night thinking I was dying but also had flu, which I only found out the following day. I called my GP on the Thursday, she advised to up to 40mg fluoxetine and then commence 80mg modified release propranolol, using 10mg if needed. She also prescribed a short course of diazepam for me. I took a 5mg tablet on the Thursday evening and the relief was something else…it took away the panic.

For about 48 hours I felt more settled, but then on the Sunday (16th) the panic hit again. I have kept the diazepam for emergency use only, rather than take it regularly and this has helped. Since then I have muddled through, mainly waking with panic which slowly settles and some peaks over the day. I’ve had some settled evenings, but overall it’s been very difficult and I’ve been struggling. I have been focussed on breathing/noticing breathing a lot which is quite distressing and I find it hard to relax/switch off from this. I get a tight chest and struggle on breathing, though my o2 sats and pulse is generally fine during this time. In this time I’ve been relying heavily on ChatGPT (I know) about the normal process and for reassurance, and I believe fluoxetine is one of the slowest SSRIs but it should start turning soon for me and hopefully the panic and focus on breathing sensations will fade. But I’m finding this incredibly difficult. Some days I feel like I’m losing my mind and that I’ll never be normal again. I’m currently signed off work and I am finding it difficult to do daily tasks. My GP has prescribed another short course of diazepam, but only 2mg this time. I know that 99.99999% all of this is specifically in my head, but it is distressing. I am regretting changing medications as I swore last time I’d never come off Escitalopram, but I didn’t have any other place to go as 20mg is the max and was worried about being depressed.

im not sure what I’m asking, so IABU for that I guess, but I just feel so alone and worried right now.

OP posts:
Scoobydoobydoo19 · 26/11/2025 11:48

You're not alone. Take every day at a time. Take every hour at a time if you have to.
I'm on different medication (different family to SSRIs) so I can't comment on that, but I hope it starts kicking in for you soon.

Xmasdemon · 26/11/2025 12:55

I suffer with anxiety too, but haven't had a full on panic attack since I got onto a good medication that chills me a lot more than I used to be like every day. I know it's so hard. I also suffer from OCD and at times like that I need more help. I've been using private healthcare for more effective treatment. Its pricey but not always as much as you would think.

Shinyshiny2 · 15/12/2025 18:36

How are you doing now @IsTheOffDutyDoneYet ? I’m so worried fluoxetine isn’t working for me!

Scoobydoobydoo19 · 17/12/2025 09:01

Shinyshiny2 · 15/12/2025 18:36

How are you doing now @IsTheOffDutyDoneYet ? I’m so worried fluoxetine isn’t working for me!

How long have you been on it? It takes about 6 weeks to kick in, so if it's been longer than that I'd go back to your doctor.

IsTheOffDutyDoneYet · 20/12/2025 18:58

Very slowly settling. Very slowly. Having said that today has been awful, panic for hours and meds haven’t really helped. It’s just tailing off now and I’m exhausted. I’m 5 weeks and 2 days into the increased dose. 10.5 weeks on overall. Determined to try make it 8 weeks into the new dose if I can, as I don’t want to start all over again. Thank you so much for the replies, they mean a lot. I considered ringing the crisis team this afternoon as it’s been that awful, but I don’t think they can do much and I want to stay at home with my family, even though I’m being useless. I’m scared and tired. I hope anyone else out there is doing ok. I have one 2mg diazepam left that I won’t take unless I severely need it as GP not open til Monday so don’t want to be left with nothing tomorrow if things kick off again. Promethazine helped a bit but unfortunately I have had rebound anxiety/agitation each time after taking it, so less inclined to take that. It’s been such a long and exhausting road so far. I’m drained and sad, Christmas isn’t even half ready and I feel like I’m a shell of myself.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 20/12/2025 19:01

Are you having therapy too? I found cbt useful for root of anxiety and developed coping methods that worked for me

Thelittlegreyone · 20/12/2025 19:03

I'm not saying there isn't a place for medication, but is therapy and/or lifestyle any part of the conversation?

IsTheOffDutyDoneYet · 20/12/2025 19:09

Hankunamatata · 20/12/2025 19:01

Are you having therapy too? I found cbt useful for root of anxiety and developed coping methods that worked for me

I’m doing the silver cloud package for panic attacks. I’m finding it a bit useful but not completely. I’ve got some past trauma stuff I need to work through and am waiting for EDMR through work, 9 month waiting list, though I am changing jobs (and also Trusts) so likely going to lose my place on that one. I am so desperate for the fluoxetine to work, especially being due to start a new job at the end of January. I hate feeling like I’m dying 90% of the time and the hyperawareness around breathing. I feel like I’m massively letting DC down at the moment, and though they’re all older and they understand I still feel awful about it. I’ve tried to push on and today I took DD2 to get her nails done and DS for a hair cut, but the panic became unbearable while I was waiting for DS to be finished. I just feel like I’ve ruined almost three months of my life and in turn theirs to change meds and I hate my mental health. Absolutely hate it. I can see that I have improved a bit since I first posted, but this is so slow of a change and when I have bad days or moments the despair I feel is immense.

OP posts:
IsTheOffDutyDoneYet · 20/12/2025 19:15

Thelittlegreyone · 20/12/2025 19:03

I'm not saying there isn't a place for medication, but is therapy and/or lifestyle any part of the conversation?

As above currently doing online CBT. If that doesn’t “fix” or help then they will look at different therapy things but I’ve got to go through this first. Lifestyle wise I had been losing weight and was eating healthy, I was enjoying parts of life but the depression creeping in was concerning me. Basically I came across the mother of someone who SA’d me as a child, and I never told anyone about my childhood abuse so nothing ever happened to him. I pushed it deep down and seeing her brought so much back. I tried so hard to put things in place to not come across her again (kind of through work, but not in the same organisation) but the damage seeing her was already done and opened up very old wounds. Hence depression symptoms, and therefore me thinking I needed to change meds while waiting for EDMR - had already requested before thinking about meds change. Can’t really afford private therapy. Currently appetite is poor. I am trying, but I am just so tired and wary.

OP posts:
Thelittlegreyone · 20/12/2025 19:25

I pushed it deep down and seeing her brought so much back. I tried so hard to put things in place to not come across her again (kind of through work, but not in the same organisation) but the damage seeing her was already done and opened up very old wounds.

I am wondering if the thoughts of someone like Gabor Mate would be helpful whilst you wait for talking therapy? You can get his books from the library or find him on YouTube and podcasts. His big idea is "It's not 'what is wrong with you?' but 'what happened to you?'". I.e. that our responses (such as depression and anxiety) are natural, normal responses to trauma.

Thelittlegreyone · 20/12/2025 19:26

Currently appetite is poor. I am trying, but I am just so tired and wary.

I bet. It sounds exhausting what you are experiencing Flowers

IsTheOffDutyDoneYet · 20/12/2025 19:29

Thelittlegreyone · 20/12/2025 19:25

I pushed it deep down and seeing her brought so much back. I tried so hard to put things in place to not come across her again (kind of through work, but not in the same organisation) but the damage seeing her was already done and opened up very old wounds.

I am wondering if the thoughts of someone like Gabor Mate would be helpful whilst you wait for talking therapy? You can get his books from the library or find him on YouTube and podcasts. His big idea is "It's not 'what is wrong with you?' but 'what happened to you?'". I.e. that our responses (such as depression and anxiety) are natural, normal responses to trauma.

Thank you, I will have a look into him while I wait/look at finding my own therapy if possible/wait to get through the online CBT which will then open up other options, because I’m not going to be fixed by the end of this online course. I also have stuff from my dad’s suicide in 2017 ongoing as well, so it could help with that. I really wish I’d just not changed the Escitalopram at this moment in time, but hindsight is a wonderful thing as they say. Thank you again, I appreciate the suggestion.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page