I’ll try and be brief, AIBU to expect more from my husband.
I own my own company, it’s a mid sized company. My husband has a high job in finance. Both high earners, although my husband earns twice my wage.
I work 3.5 days a week, my husband leaves every day at 6am and doesn’t get back until 7pm. He stays away for work 2 nights a week. I’ve asked him to WFH one day a week, or just do pick up and drop off, so I can commute in and see my team in person for a full day (we live about 1.5 hours away from my office, as I had severe PND after my 1st and I wouldn’t consider a second until we moved closer to family for support - our first didn’t sleep at all for the first year).
My husband will book his nights away, trips abroad, client dinner etc without checking with me, because the assumption is always that I will be there. Whereas I have to check everything. Whilst I can rely on my family somewhat, moving home was not to pass the responsibility of raising our children onto our parents, but to support us where they can (they already do 1 pick up each a week). Recently my husband has been complaining that the day I’ve chosen to go to the office during the week is a key day for meetings in his office and it makes his life difficult. He’s started assuming I will be home to pick up from wraparound care and getting his Mum to drop our DCs in.
I feel like I do everything to keep the house ticking over the children happy. On the days he is home he sort of comes in, helps put the kids to bed if they are still awake, eats, does more work in his office, then goes to bed. My DCs are 2 and 4.
Colleagues have told me I’m in the trenches and not to make any rash decisions, as it will get easier - is this true?
He has a job where the expectation is to go into the office a minimum of 3 days a week, but he is in 5 days a week at the moment - he insists this is unavoidable. He states 3 days a week is outside of busy periods. AIBU to be frustrated that he seems to be unable to commit to parenting responsibilities for one day a week, but it is assumed/expected that I do the other 4. If I raise this, then his answer is to put them in wraparound care more, but that’s not what I want, so AIBU or are we just misaligned on priorities and how best to raise our children.