Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Trying to be me

27 replies

Hubby2 · 26/11/2025 07:53

Never really been one to fit in. Acceptance is not what I'm really looking for, at least I don't think so. Hmmm don't know, overthinking...

So didn't know where to put this but though it may go in here ok.

Recently I have lost weight, went from a 34 waist to 28 in 3 months admittedly I have had compliments from people I know at work or not which have noticed which is nice.

However what I'm not particularly happy is a couple of women telling me that it's good iv lost weight but not to lose any more, I obviously didn't like the comment and also telling me that there's others concerned about me. Don't know whether to believe that because surely they would make themselves known.

All I'm doing is trying to feel comfortable in my own skin and I don't appreciate when someone tries to make a choice for me. I believe I can pick what's best for me because I'm happier but not completely yet.

I suppose last point I wanted to make is no one was worried when I put all that weight on.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hubby2 · 27/11/2025 12:06

OvernightBloats · 27/11/2025 08:38

If the comment upset you, then just tell the person that you find it uncomfortable when people comment on your body. Ask the person to not do it again.

However, if a person looks dangerously underweight, those comments from other people are coming from genuine concern. If it appears to people that you have lost weight extremely fast, then people might be concerned about your health.

It is not healthy to lose weight very fast. It puts your body under strain. Always best to go slow and steady.

You definitely right to tell me to face it because honesty is definitely the best policy. If they speak of it again I will bring it up as I don't agree and maybe that's because i have not been that healthy for 6 years so not use to seeing me like that, I don't know. That's one side.

The other side is a couple of other girls yesterday asked me what exercise I was doing which is jogging and suggested and encouraging me to join a running club which I see has a big positive.

And I never planned to lose it like that but I'm in no way unhealthy and feel much better for it, my health is important to me.

OP posts:
PaintYour · 27/11/2025 12:10

Hubby2 · 27/11/2025 11:43

Yeah I admit it could be a very hard subject to approach for someone overweight but equally someone could b losing weight that doesn't want to and it could also be taken as an insult, ok not generally as most want to lose it.

I think your probably more at least of having a heart attack if your overweight so why wouldn't someone look out for someone ask them what their going through, take the gentle approach. It doesn't have to be harsh you know like I care about you and then say I'm worried about your health. I honestly think that if someone said that to me when I was overweight that I would accept it and take it the right way. Obviously no way of knowing that but I try to see criticism as a positive to better myself, thank you for your input.

Show quote history

Close family, spouse, longtime close friend? Maybe. Someone you work with? I really don’t think so, and I don’t think it’s fair to expect it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread