To be sick of hearing about exes new partner

[Walkslikebeyonce]

It’s been a year since our split and ex got with New woman pretty much straight away (2 weeks) they have been together ever since but when my daughter comes home (she is 8) she is telling me things like dad listens to songs that used to remind him of you and now they remind him of ***. That’s fine but why would he tell his 8 year old daughter that? He also changed the lyrics in words to her name, it’s so pathetic it’s as if he is doing it on purpose. I have been seeing somebody for a few weeks now and I wouldn’t even dream of discussing anything like that with the kids.

I can see how this would happen.

Sometimes kids ask awkward questions and you just say what you can in the moment, and they interpret it in a more black and white way.

Just smile and nod.

I just think it is something that doesn’t really need to be discussed with an 8 year old child.

Just don’t worry about it…not worth it

Unless he's a total psychopath he isn't sitting his 8yo down and discussing his relationship with her.

What's he supposed to say if she asks a question?

I know it's tough, I also have an 8yo who repeats things back to me from her dad's house, but there's nothing you can do, and no point getting angry. Differing standards is a hard part of coparenting.

Can’t believe 20% think you’re BU!
obviously the ex is being pathetic, saying this stuff to your child knowing she’ll unwittingly upset you by repeating it.
i would try and distract your child from talking about what happens at Dads, may not work but worth a go?

Just realized only 9 votes so that doesn’t equate to many votes for BU!

No I get that and I know she spends time with her etc and I’m fine with it. My daughter just doesn’t need to hear these details, she really doesn’t care for it

Can you not tell him, hey, stop going on about NP to our daughter, you're putting her in an uncomfortable position. She doesn't care about you talking to her about your relationship, she just wants to spend time with you.

I have cut all contact. It’s just the detail of it, I can’t for one minute think my daughter would have asked him if a particular song made him think of mummy, she would wouldn’t, he has deliberately told her that as it has no relevance to anything at this point.

Ah, got it.

Of course an 8 year old doesn't care about stuff like that. Your ex sounds um, self absorbed?

Maybe teach her to stare off into space when he's going on about the trivialities of his relationship to her?

I say this as both a parent and a step parent - you really don’t want to create an environment where your child feels uncomfortable and that it’s not ok to talk openly about what happens in either of the homes they spend time in. Sometimes it means you just have to smile and nod and be
nice about it. Happens to step parents as well as parents!

I think it's an age thing. At 8 DSDs were always saying "mummy this" and "mummy that". They sometimes shared things that I really don't think she we would want me to know. Kids that age listen into adult conversations and repeat what they think they heard. It's not necessarily that your ex is telling her these things. I think it's more likely that he was talking to his gf and she listened in.

Please don't use your daughter as an excuse for you not to have a hear stuff that makes you uncomfortable. It's not fair on her.