This is my first thread. Apologises for the long thread. Don't want to drip feed.
I have a younger brother, he's almost 17. We have the same mum, different dad. For various reasons, I lived with my dad and stepmum for most of my childhood.
His dad cheated on my mum and they split when he was 1, he was still involved and had him regularly. As did I, I lived close by and we spent a lot of time together and he was honestly the sweetest toddler/child. A few years later his dad moves abroad, I think brother was around 8 at the time and after that contact slowed down. In the beginning he'd come and visit him but that stopped and went to birthday texts and then nothing at all. I also stopped seeing him, my mum has MH issues (agoraphobia, anxiety, depression, she's also a functional alcoholic) and our relationship is rocky, we’d fall out and then she’d tell my brother i didn’t want to see him etc. Which wasn't true.
He was her baby and she blamed everything on other people, he could do no wrong. She'd blame other kids on their street for influencing him, blaming the school and teachers and just everyone but her/her parenting and my brother. She never set any boundaries. He stopped attending school in year 7. Mum said she was homeschooling him but I don't think they did any work together. He has Irlen syndrome and still can barely read and write and I'm not doubting he struggled in secondary school but he only lasted a term, if that.
Things really changed when he was 13, he started being aggressive, smashing things when he didn't get his own way. He smashed many iPhones and mum just brought a new one/got them repaired with no consequences.
He was very mouthy and eventually started with homophobic and racist language, my mum isn't like this nor me and he barely has contact with his dad so I don't think it's learnt behaviour from any of us.
Anyway, the older he's got the worse he's got. He steals from my mum, smokes weed, drinks, he's been involved with the police (it didn't go anywhere legally), mum said his room is a tip and she suspects he is doing a lot more than weed. The racist & homophobic language is very much the same. He uses the p racial slur a lot which mum has asked him many times to stop especially as they have neighbours which are other races etc. He just laughs and says its not aimed at them.
My mum can't cope with him and the final straw was a neighbour knocking on their door furious with brother as he'd had his hands down his trousers outside in front of her teen DD(13 or 14), she threatened to report him to the police but he just laughed and made a joke of it about how he was doing it because of the mum - not the DD. until that comment I thought he was just doing what teen boys do but now I honestly don't know. His behaviour and the knocks to the door is causing my mum significant anxiety. She asked me if I could have him, I live a few hours away and they live in London. I initially said no and she went off at me and blocked me and said I don't care about her or her mental health and threatened suicide (something she's done a lot hence why we have LC now). This was toward the end of October.
She'd told him she wanted him out when he turned 17 on NYE, she said if he didn't go she’d phone SS. He called her a birch and said he wasn't going into care. He’d just run away and go to his dads and she’d never see him again. I don't know if he meant it, if he's even had any contact with his dad recently or even if his dad is back in the UK. Brother doesn't have a passport.
Since then my mum has said he's hardly been home, she messaged me earlier and told me on Saturday night he'd been stabbed in the stomach, obviously went to hospital etc and is physically ok, he hasn't said who did it. He said he doesn't know, wouldn't give a description or what happened leading up to it. Apparently he went out again yesterday.
She's asking me again if I would have him but I really don't know. WWYD? Please be kind.