To be terrified that anxiety is back and never going away

[Shinyshiny2]

I’ve been through various periods in my life where I get anxious and my anxiety fixates around sleep. I worry about sleep and therefore don’t sleep. I know I can sleep and just need to not worry but I can’t. Previously I’ve taken fluoxetine and things have improved. I stopped taking fluoxetine regularly in the summer as I felt good. I’ve been taking maybe one or two per week until last week when I started taking them daily again as my anxiety increased. At the weekend I worried about sleep and therefore didn’t sleep! I’ve had to call in sick to work today as I’m so anxious and sleep deprived - I’m a teacher. I went to the doctor who said I may feel more anxious until the fluoxetine levels out and he’s given me a sedating tablet to take at night. I asked him if I’d be stuck like this forever and he replied you might be it’s up to you! I’m so scared I’m never going to get better, end up having a nervous breakdown or being admitted to hospital or suicidal! I‘M so anxious and just want things to improve!! Am I stuck like this??

Hugs! No you are not stuck like this. It really sucks right now, but it will improve. Hang on in there. If you are lying there unable to sleep, try reading a book. I find that better than just lying there getting more and more stressed.

What is it about sleep that makes you anxious?

Sorry, it's shit isn't it? My anxiety came back over the last year worse than it's ever been in 30+ years, after several years being well off meds I'm now back on them.

I'm surprised your GP didn't make it clear you shouldn't take them a day or 2 a week, they don't work like that and you'll just get the crap side effects(and probably worse anxiety than before) without any benefit. So how you're feeling now might even be down to you taking them like that, and will get better now you're taking them regularly.

You're spiralling now with thinking you'll never get better and end up sectioned or suicidal, properly dosed anti depressants should help you get out from under that. Then it'd probably be good to get some talking therapy to work out what going on and get some strategies in place for when you start having a wobble. It's work but you can do it.

I don’t worry about sleep, I really love sleep. I get anxious that I won’t sleep then I struggle to sleep and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy that I can’t break and I’m worried I’ll be stuck anxious and worrying forever!

You need to reverse psychology this and give yourself permission not to sleep.

When I've had this in the past I just tell myself 'Even if I don't sleep at all tonight it will be perfectly fine, I will manage' and then I'm out for the count pretty quickly after that.

Definitely, taking anti-depressants on an ad hoc basis is really not advisable.

I also think that talking therapy is likely to have positive effect if you can find the right therapist to engage with.

Wow, your GP sounds like a right knob. He would have struggled to have found something less helpful to say to someone feeling anxious. Look, this is just a phase you’ve had anxiety phases before and they’ve passed haven’t they? You need to get sorted with your self care, exercise, meditation, good food, talking therapy, whatever works for you. This too will pass. X