to be feeling guilty about my 1 yr old being ill when looked after by our nanny?

[nowwearefour]

when we went in on friday morning at around 7am we realised our 1 yr old dd2 had been sick. i did not phone our nanny as she would have already been on her way as she starts at 7.30am. dd2 was sick again duringthe day and i got on the next train home and sent the nanny home. i just felt a bit bad as it was her 2 yr old dd's birthday this weekend and apparently nanny is prone to catching stomach bugs (i did not know this at the time). not sure whether the nanny should be there to look after the little one when she is ill (admittedly i would like to be there but it just will not always be possible) or whether it is my responsibility to protect the nanny from illnesses i sort of know about..... i do not know whether she caught it or not at this point.... i only work 2 days a week and it was my first week!!

I only got my first nanny a few weeks ago and (touch wood) my DS has not yet been sick so I will watch the responses with interest, but it seems to me that your nanny should be there to look after your DD when she is sick. I would certainly expect mine to be there when my DS was sick, except of course if it was something a bit serious/contagious, in which case I would want to be there anyway. Is this right? Can we have some responses from nannies/experienced nanny employers?

I don;t have a nanny but I assuemd pne of the advantages of having a nanny is that they will look after DC's when they are sick, unlike a childminder.

it never occurred to me that my nanny would not look after sick children - it's part of the job - and one of the benefits of a nanny over a childminder or nursery where they do not provide care for sick children.

did your nanny raise it with you? I've never had a nanny suggest that she shouldn't work because she might catch the illness.

yes I agree a nanny is there to care for the child if sick - and to assess the situation too; obviously the parent should be contacted for a serious illness or an accident IMO.

I feel sorry for nannys in this scenario actually, I guess each family has different views; a friend was singing her nanny's praises for dealing with their child and NOT contacting her; the child had had a nasty bump on the head and been taken to casualty; whereas if the nanny had been mine I would certainly have wanted the nanny to contact me about it!

but yes I think the nanny is there to care for a child who is a bit under the weather like the OP

thanks. have found out she didnt catch it (even though my brother who saw her on saturday did!). yes i will try to treat her with respect and courtesy without it all getting silly! no she did not imply that she should not have been there- i jsut was not sure what the grounds were. she was just hoping she would not ill coz of her dd's birthday!

Not wanting her to catch it because of her DD's birthday (or in fact for any other reason) is quite normal. I wouldn't feel guilty about it though, you pay a premium for a nanny, dealing with a sick child comes with the territory as a nanny.

I am a nanny and dealing with sick children is pass and parcel of the job if parents want to stay of - great - however I am more than willing to look after my charges and in fact today took youngest to the doctors as she had a slight rash - mum not bothered by it - but thought I would check it out

Hello
I read this thread with interest. I am actually considering looking for a nanny and also use the nursery, so both, and did wonder whether a nanny would look after an ill child, that is my main reason for thinking about shared care, as nursery wouldn't take them and I work full-time.
Thank you again for clarifying that it is part of the job for a nanny. Taking my child to the doctor for a check-up or when ill would be a great bonus to me.

nannies are great. i definitely recommend having one!

I used to be a nanny and didn't even think twice if I had to look after the children if they were ill.

Yes I think nanny should look after charge when they are sick if that is what parent wants. But I think you need to make this clear now with your nany for future events.

I was a nanny for years before i had my DC and agree its a nannies job to look after the children when they are ill,its one of the benefits of having a nanny as opposed to using a nursery or childminder.

I think it is quite normal for a nanny to look after sick children. It's one of the main advantages of having a nanny. I certainly have never objected in any of my jobs. I have found that most of my Mums have wanted to look after their children themselves if they are ill ( none of my employers have worked full time so jobs not an issue) but if they have been busy / away etc I have done my job as normal.

agree normal for nannies to look after sick/ill children - that is the big pro of having a nanny against cm or nursery

i would never expect my mb to ring and say charges had been sick and did i want to come in?

great, thanks for all the comments, very useful. Yes, I am considering having a nanny because the only thing I am worried about is time off when my son is ill. I work full-time and it would be difficult to drop things like you have to with nursery.
any other comments or experiences with nannies would be good. Don't know much about having a nanny and whether people would recommend it. Are nannies generally good and what should I look for in a nanny?
Thank you

i think it is interesting this is all about the Nanny and not your child.

I think it should depend on how ill your child is. When mine are really poorly they only want me or their dad, also I wouldnt be able to concentrate knowing they were poorly
in which case I would stay off work or he would whenever possible. (unpaid of course). But if they were just a bit poorly it wouldn't bother me.

As for your nanny I would discuss this with her for next time, sounds reasonable for her to look after a sick child in the given situation.

I've been a nanny for 7 years and have always looked after my charges when ill - I've been vomited on more times than I can remember. Would never dream of not going in because they were unwell! Have had a couple of mums ask me if I'd like them to stay home, but my response is that Im happy to deal with it and only to stay at home if they really feel they want to. None have so far! On the other hand if one of them badly injures themselves, I would always call the parent(s) as soon as it was safe and reasonable to do so!

Don't feel guilty, this is what you are paying for. We had a nanny pre DH losing his job (he is now the nanny!)and she would always look after DD when she was sick. To be honest, I'm a bit surprised you're even questioning it. The fact that her DD's birthday is coming up isn't really an issue for you as her employer - it's only the personal nature of a nanny/parent relationship that tends to muddy things.

You wouldn't have a choice not to go to work if a colleague was fluey and insisted on being at their desk, would you? Nanny's cost the earth - best get your pounds worth

Of course, if your nanny gets sick as a result, you are going to end up being the one at home for a few days anyway...

Nannies look after sick children - it's part of the job. The only thing that I say is that if it's something really bad and contagious and I haven't had it/don't have immunity/have health reasons (eg. pregnant and charge has rubella) then I can refuse to but take unpaid leave. That said if child was that ill then parents would probably want to be at home anyway.

Slight illness/normal childhood diseases are fine though.