To think DP fancies our neighbour?

[Sarahh20]

One of our neighbours who lives across the street is recently single (I know this as she’s friendly and we often chat, plus it’s obvious as her ex- partners car which was regularly there isn’t any longer).

Within a fortnight, I’d noticed another man was coming and going over the weekend and I saw them embracing when he was leaving.

I made a comment to DP about her moving on quick. He told me to stop being nosy (I wasn’t) and then commented ‘with an arse like that, she was never going to be single for long was she’.

I called him out on it and he says it was clearly a joke, but I’m not convinced…

Yes , of course he fancies her. It makes perfect sense.

Well, he probably does fancy her. That doesn’t mean he is going to, or has done anything about it. I fancy Mick Jagger but am not going to run off tomorrow and offer to shag him ffs, DH is safe in that knowledge😁. It’s a weird comment to be obsessing over.

This was posted recently, same 'arse' comment.

What's so significant about her arse? Maybe a diagram would help?

I would admire a neighbour’s nice arse…
But I probably wouldn’t mention it to DH.

With an arse like that, of course he fancies her!

You’ve posted about this before, I think?

No, this only happened two days ago.

Why would he say that to you? How is that a joke… I mean, what is exactly is the punchline, according to him?

😂

And what?
I might pull him up for objectifying women but not for fancying them. None of us can help that. If he's not going to act on it or rub it in your face I don't see an issue with whether he vaguely fancies her.

Ask him to look at the ground everytime he leaves the house. He’s probably ugly and she would never go near him anyway, so I wouldn’t worry

So what if he fancies her? Unless he's intending to dump you and ask her to be his girlfriend, you are worrying about nothing.

As someone said on a similar thread, he may be your partner, but he isn't blind.

Or if he is, he has been a lot closer to her arse than looks alone. And that is a different thread.

If it’s a joke ask him to explain the punch line. How is it funny, and demonstrate the comedy slowly so you understand.

It wasn’t a joke. It was a statement. He’s just using the “it was a joke” to palm you off and get you off his back. Classic man behaviour.

Well he clearly thinks she's got a nice arse. Does she?

And I sort of lack sympathy as your comment was just a kind of snide way of calling her a slag!

Why are you so concerned over when and if she has a new boyfriend?

He might very well find your neighbour attractive, but it doesn't mean he's planning on nipping over for a quickie! Just because we are married or have a partner, it doesn't mean we don't find other people attractive, it's human nature. What does matter, is if we act upon that attraction. I often see men out and about and think 'he's attractive', but I don't go and tell him! Your husband made a passing comment, it doesn't mean he's cheating on you or planning too. Yes, it was probably better if he'd kept the comment to himself, rather than say what he was thinking out loud.

Some thoughts are best left unsaid

Maybe he does and what does it matter she may not find your husband in the least bit attractive

Maybe OP also thinks she has a nice arse and is jealous of the new man herself!

Agree she was being judgey. Not into slut shaming. Maybe her ex DP hadnt satisfied in her years. Maybe he had ED and gave her zero affection. Anything other than “good for her for being happy” was the wrong comment to make.

Sorry OP, but you put your nose in first.

Perhaps this scenario is all too common

I think men see a newly single woman as more interesting and sexual as they think she'll be more up for it and available

Thank you! Yeah, I thought that about the arse. 🙄

Also just to add, I have a very close (male!) friend who visits once or twice a year. The first time my new neighbours saw him he was visiting the same weekend my DH was awarded a weekend trip away with his work. The neighbours definitely saw my husband leave with his suitcase and my friend arrive a few hours later, with a huge hug at my gate in front of any potential curtain twitchers. He left the next day after crashing on the couch.

My neighbours probably think I’m a slag too, and a cheating slag at that. This is something my DH and I have both laughed about once we realised how dodgy this must have looked. Said male friend has returned many times since this occasion and stayed over again but with my DH also here, as he is a good friend to us both.

Point being - Get ya nose out your neighbours business. Just because someone hugs a man goodbye doesn’t mean they were sheggin. Not that it matters if they were!

Is him thinking she has a nice arse offensive? No because a man’s gonna notice these things no matter how pathetic it is/they are. However, him stating to you that she has a nice arse is offensive.

He’s an arse.

He may or may not fancy your neighbour - but that comment was deeply crass and would give me the ‘ick’.🤢