I honestly can’t explain how much today on here has helped. The advice has been incredible and the support genuinely has kept me going. Thank you.
Update:
We managed to get an appointment at the out of hours doctor. Honestly, it was the usual story, no eye contact, rushed, scrolling through the computer while we were pouring our hearts out. He prescribed tranexamic acid (maximum 5 days) and told us to give her the iron tablets daily instead of every other day, which goes against what she was previously told.
When I asked about a gynaecology referral, he claimed it’s “literally impossible” to refer anyone under 18. Apparently there are no paediatric gynaecologists that he knows of. I challenged him, because everything I’ve researched says that paediatric and adolescent gynaecology does exist, and the NHS does have referral criteria she meets. His response? “Would you go private?”
I said I’d consider a private initial consultation with the NHS consultant who also works privately. Eventually, he said he could refer her to general paediatrics, and then they could request the GP refer to gynae. I agreed because my dd was clearly uncomfortable and I didn’t want to prolong her distress. But the entire thing felt like yet another hurdle in an already exhausting fight.
So yes, I’ll be booking a private consultation in the hope it opens the door to the NHS waiting list. Because at this point, it feels like if I don’t push, no one else will.
I am absolutely devastated that care for girls and women is still this poor. I am sick to death of seeing GPs and medics on shiny TV sofas, earnestly telling women to “go to your GP”, to “advocate for yourself”, to “get checked”. All while, in reality, so many of us are met with rushed appointments, blank stares, and a complete lack of curiosity or care. These soundbites feel hollow when your dd is sitting in front of a doctor, pale and in pain, and they can’t be bothered to even look at her properly or ask a question.
I’m tired. I’m angry. And I’m scared that this is the standard we’re supposed to accept. I’m ready to escalate this, our MP, our trust, whoever needs to hear it, because this isn’t a one off. Her whole life we’ve been battling for the bare minimum, the school’s SEN failings, the complete lack of autism appropriate support and now the healthcare system too.
I don’t want to make everything about gender, but I can’t shake the feeling that if a teenage boy repeatedly presented with severe, ongoing symptoms like this, the response would look very different. It’s 2025 and girls and women are still receiving substandard care for pain, bleeding, and complex symptoms that should be taken seriously.
Thank you if you’ve read this far, I really needed to vent. And to all of you who’ve offered advice and kindness today, please know how much it means.