House move regret

[SilverDoublet]

We've recently moved house and I can't stop thinking it's been a huge mistake.

I'm completely unsettled in the new house and miss my old house. New house has a lot more space but feels too big and I'm completely overwhelmed at all the work we need to do to the place - new kitchen, electrics, heating system, flooring, painting, roof, garden. We also need to buy more furniture but we never have time between working and kids.

I miss my nice kitchen in the old house and how low maintenance it all was.
Has anyone else felt the same after up sizing. Does it get better... I'm afraid to talk to my husband about it as I was the one who thought we needed to upsize. He would have stayed in our old house.

I get this, moving is so unsettling anyway. However I wondered, maybe you need to give it some time? How long have you been in the new place? If you bought it with plans to renovate, this was always going to take time. The plus is that in the end, it’ll feel more “yours”.

100% same, I even posted on here about it! Not going to lie, it took me a long time to feel like I was walking in the door to be 'home' but suppose that's the same with alot of moves, we were also moving to a new area.

We've been here 4 1/2 years now and it doesn't feel like home, I still haven't got over the 'it feels to big' though, it still feels indulgent and abit more than we actually need and not sure I'll ever get over that but but am mostly settled. Walls still near but that's more lack of time/effort and the general cost of things!

It was just time really that made the difference to be honest, but sizing up is quite the change!

That should say it DOES feel like home!!

I’ve loved it. Yes it was overwhelming and I had to learn DIY pretty fast via YouTube. I felt intimidated by the additional space but I’ve grown to love it and would never go back. Now I can sand and varnish original wood floors, landscape gardens, put up fences, lay lawns, build gates, sheds and fix boilers 😂

There are places you can get new and almost new furniture at reduced prices from house clearance warehouses.

Yeah really normal. There are 100s of threads on mumsnet about it as its so common it will get better

Am in the same boat. Moved a couple of months ago and still not settled as we’ve not redecorated and there’s so much to fix. Our old furniture doesn’t quite suit our new place. Kids are adjusting slowly but youngest regularly complains. We just miss the comfort and convenience of our old home and I miss the location.

Yes I completely get this and for me it’s never gone away

Think of the excitement of getting a new kitchen (etc) though! It’s an exciting time for you and you’ll feel more settled soon.

When I first moved to my current house I just stripped wallpaper and cried for the first 4 weeks, at least. I acutely missed my old house. Everything needed doing in the new one. EVERYTHING. And it’s 150yrs old so not easy or cheap.

Fast forward 2.5yrs. It’s 70% done and no regrets. We’ve stripped all the wall paper, done the roof, fixed all the timber, redecorated 11 of its 14 rooms, new kitchen, new utility, new downstairs loo, restored old flooring, ventilated the cellar, new boiler, updated electrics, overhauled garden.

We both work full time and have twins, so up against it, same as you. It will come together – you just have to look at the long game.

We moved a year ago, it’s getting much better after getting more organised but I still miss having a house where everything was in the right place and exactly how I wanted it. And all our furniture was bought to fit that house as well. We’ve upsized and there is more space but it’s not as useable and there is less storage.

One thing that really helped me was to pick a bedroom (we used a spare one and not the master as we wanted time to do that up), make it OK cosmetically (we did a quick job of painting over wallpaper) and lay it out in the exact same way as our old bedroom. That really helped me feel at home and was a place to escape to.

Each time I've moved I've had to move cat(s) as well. I think trying to acclimatise them to a new property for several weeks took my mind off any immediate regrets that I may have had about moving.

I still miss my last house a little bit, especially the bigger kitchen, even after 10 years but I really love the one I'm in, expensive to do up and slightly quirky that it it's turned out to be.

We did the opposite and downsized. I thought we’d got rid of the furniture we didn’t have space for, but lots more had to go after we moved.

I don’t miss the area we were in and the house was really too big, but I miss the neighbours we had and the space.

This feels so much less friendly, so many things are less convenient and I wish we could go somewhere else.

I expect I’ll get used to it, but I’ll certainly have to put up with it.

I remember a brief feeling similar to yours OP when we moved to a much bigger house but we very soon filled it and always said it's be hard moving somewhere smaller. I loved that house.

We were right about moving to the smaller house which we did next. Disaster and it's a huge regret. So much stuff had to be left behind. 8 years on, still traumatised by moving here and I bloody hate it. Give me back my bigger house 🙏🏻🙏🏻

It’s normal and will pass.

Give it time OP, I always get cold feet over big changes and it takes me time to get used to a new home, situation, colour of paint. I just need to ride it out and not give it too much headspace and in the end I've always ended up being really happy. My brain is just a bit resistant to change!

Our situation is different in that we left a house that was a bit of a wreck & needed doing up for a house that is immaculate. We bought loads of new furniture & equipment, so I feel as if I am living in someone else’s house! It’s very unsettling but I am sure we will get used to it in the end. This house is so much better for our life stage (old & disabled).

I moved from a period property to a new build and thought I’d never settle into it. It’s only this year that I’ve done more work to some rooms and it feels like home. Having much lower bills helps and being warm in winter is a real bonus. Give it time.

We moved to a big house & hated it. It was never homely & it just felt cold and over indulgent. We moved again & are much happy now in a smaller house. Big houses often feel soulless.

OP, I recommend decorating one room and getting it just as you want it - either the kitchen or the living room - somewhere you spend a lot of time. Make it feel exactly like your dream home, as far as you can within budget.

Then just relax and live in it for a while. A lot of people I know with really gorgeous homes just lived for a year - made no changes at first. It gives you a chance to save some money, look for bargains, get to know how the natural light falls and most importantly - how you use the space and how it flows. I'd avoid making any big expensive changes like kitchen or garden until you really get the feel of the place. A living room is easy and inexpensive to revamp.

You will be SO thankful of the extra space as the DC grow up.

If you have a room you feel won't get much use - turn it into a really lovely study or library or craft room or mini gym.

could have written this exact post 20 years ago. Moved from our lovely terraced house to a much bigger semi.

Was rally unhappy - it was much further from the shops, it was too big and it just felt like someone else's house.....

and then, gradually, we started doing things. new furniture, new paint, new curtains. eventually a new kitchen. and we remembered why we'd chosen to move in the first place - we needed more space.

And now? I love it. Am never moving again!!

give it time OP. Chip away at small things that you can easily change and it will gradually start feeling like your home