My dbro1 contacted me to ask if I was inviting our mother for christmas dinner this year as he wants to spend it with his new gfs family. For context he lives with my dm rent free and bills free hes abit of freeloader after his marriage broke down.
Over the last couple of years my extended family has gotten smaller. DF died last Feb, he was in a care home after along fight with cancer and the previous year we found my auntie passed away in her flat two weeks after christmas. For years I hosted extended family. My auntie ( my dm sis) was like a mother to me. She gave me so many opportunities as a child and I am forever grateful she was also an positive influence in my children's lives.
My dad could be a grumpy sod but his heart was in the right place, he would slip me a tenner for the kids for some treats when dm wasn't looking. He spent the last ten years slowly deteriorating. Then there's my DM everything is about her, how ill she is yet there both died before her and shes still here.
My DM would bully my DF and was resentful he didnt die quick enough. She would have my auntie running around after her, she even got her shopping on her last day alive. DM is a bitter vicious woman who doesn't recognise her behaviour but will rip you apart for any short comings. She would accuse my poor auntie of copying her illness, invading her time with others. Poor woman was genuinely ill and hid it so well. She had a heart of gold.
DM is non contact with dbro2 she accused him on thieving from my aunties estate and she disowned him he didnt. She is completely of sound mind. He is currently going through a hard time as his wife has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer which had spread to the ovaries. She didnt reach out or support him just sent a card after I said she shouldn't ignore what's happening this is the mother of her grandchildren.
Im disgusted in her behaviour. She barks at people, the kids included. She's got a victim complex and thinks everyone should stop what they are doing and rush to her aid. When I dont prioritise her I get told she should come before my kids. This woman is 73years old. Her health isnt great but alot due to neglect she is obese and despite been told to look after herself she doesn't and hasnt.ǰ
I have since gone LC as I cant cope with her behaviour towards me for the sake of my mental health and self worth. I see how other mums treat their dds and its not acceptable how she treats me. She threatened to disown me because I said I work and she was able to get a food order delivered rather than expect people to be getting her food for her. She drives and is capable of getting stuff.
This was infront of my 12 year old dd who dislikes her. She doesn't go out of her way to treat the kids, in the way my dad and auntie did with little treats such as a chocolate bar or crisps. Just demands them to get her stuff.
I feel pressure to invite her for christmas yet I simple dont want her there. Dbro1 will stay with dm if im not available. I mentioned to my dh about going to the inlaws instead. Abiu to not invite her