Learning to drive - does it get better?

[LearningToDrive123]

Hi everyone. I have been learning to drive since September, but have done 40 hours as I've been having 2x 2 hour lessons a week. I've passed the theory and have my test booked for February (earliest I could get due to the backlog). I'm doing automatic lessons. I've covered everything and my instructor says I'm basically test ready. Some lessons go great, but others, like today, go completely to pot. I pulled out too soon at a roundabout and my instructor had to use the break, I nearly ran through a red light and was just making silly little mistake, after silly little mistake. I've spent loads of money and it means a lot to me, as I'm a single parent to an autistic child and me being able to drive will transform our life. Is it normal to be making daft mistakes like this in some lessons, after 40hrs? Some words of encouragement, or hearing other people's experiences would really help. Thank you x

Yes it was normal for me! I learnt to drive on and off for a decade and it took me 4 attempts to pass

I would be great some lessons and then others I would be so anxious I'd make so many mistakes. Learning a skill isn't linear and there are set backs. But look at the point you started and where you are now and that's significant progress!

You can do it!

Hang in there ! I passed my test this April , I honestly almost gave up at one point. It gets easier and honestly changes your life !

You mentioned having ND DC. Do you think you might be ND yourself? I have dyspraxia and find driving absolutely exhausting. It took me seven goes to pass my test!!!

This was me because of anxiety, I was just so nervous I'd crash I'd go to pot. To the point I failed my first two tests and my driving instructor refused me any more lessons until right before my test as he said I could drive and it didn't feel right taking my money.

For my third test I had a cancellation so only had two weeks and didn't tell anyone and somehow all the nerves just went and I had two practice lessons that went fine and sailed through my test.

I was an Instructor for 32 years and can assure you that this is perfectly normal. If you're at the stage when your Instructor mostly gives you just route directions and little assistance, practical or theoretical, then you are nearly there. Have you done any mock tests yet? They can be a real help.
Also try running everything through your head as you go along eg... you are approaching a parked car on your side of the road, think through the process as you approach.....mirrors...do I need to signal....do I need to change speed....all clear? Complete the manoever then clear it out of your head and think what's happening next. This keeps you focused on what's happening. You can apply this to any situation. It might be that it wasn't clear to go around the parked car....mirrors.....where am I going to wait.....mirrors.....do I need to signal etc. Etc
Good luck

I passed when I was forty first time. I’d had lessons in the past but the big difference was I went out with DH in a car we bought me. Every Sunday round an industrial estate.
What you are doing is learning to pass the test and then you learn to drive really after.

It doesn't sound like you are test ready. If the instructor is still braking for you, thats not good. Neither is 'nearly going through a red light'. Both are major faults and an instant fail.

You probably need another 40 hours practice, which just about takes you to your test.

I'm not a driving instructor but I did practice with my 2 autistic lads just about every day. I knew they were ready when I no longer had to give them instruction and I was just a passenger giving directions. I didn't have the benefit of dual control so I have to have trust in them.

Both passed first go, one in a manual with just two minor faults and the other in an automatic with three minors.

I’ve been driving 20 years without an accident but make the occasional daft judgement or mistake, as do most people because we’re human (although there’ll be some sanctimonious soul along in a minute to declare they’re the perfect faultless driver and nobody else should be on the road).

I therefore try my best not to judge others for similar, unless they are clearly just being dangerous or foolhardy.

Don’t overthink little things and let them become big things. Each small mistake this time is a lesson learned for next time.

Oh, 100% normal! The day before I took my test, I had a lesson so bad that my instructor said, ‘It’s like you’ve never driven before!’ But I passed. Sometimes nerves just screw you over, but adrenaline sees you through. Best of luck!

Thanks everyone, it's reassuring to hear others were in the same boat as me and have now passed their test. I'm trying so hard and feel really deflated after a bad lesson. A bit random but I suffer with quite awful PMT and I've noticed that my bad lessons are always before my period. Almost like a brain fog thing. Not sure about being ND - I'm quite scatty and knew I would find learning to drive tough as I know my strengths and weaknesses which is why I went automatic from the get go. But either way I just want to perservere and get on with it. Anyway it feels like I'll never get there after lessons like today but I know I will and it was particularly encouraging to read the comment from the ex driving instructor. Thank you ❤️

I'd rather retake my GCSEs, A-Levels, Degree and Masters than learn to drive again. I hated every minute of it. I don't think anyone is really a good driver until you've driven by yourself for a few months. Good luck with it, keep going. The annoying thing is, once it clicks, you'll wonder how on earth it was ever so hard!

Completely normal my instructor use to joke about if I had a twin as some lessons I could drive great then the next lesson it was like I'd learnt nothing.

I agree you learn to drive after you've past your test

Yes. The key is do not give up! I had weekly lessons for over a year aged 17, failed by first test spectacularly. It took another 5 months of weekly lessons. The key is consistent practise. I needed a system, a set of instructions for lots of things, eg parallel parking. Driving did not come instinctively to me, I had to practise for a long time, but it does become automatic and second nature. Keep going! Good luck!

I think the average hours is around 60 (40 lessons but 20+ practice with someone else) or similar as the DVSA keep reminding my son of this in their emails, and the suggest closer to 100 hours is better so, I reckon you're on a normal track!

It will honestly get better. Have been passed and driving a long time but had about similar number of lessons from what I remember and passed second time and honestly if you had told me I would be where I am now I could not have imagined. I hated every lesson and honestly for a while after passing still was not keen but just kept putting one foot (or pedal?!) in front of the other. And now I don’t know what I would do if I had not have learnt, so keep focusing on the freedom and opportunities it will bring. Hang on in there, get as much practice you can, and it is true what they say that you don’t genuinely learn to drive until you have passed.

I just passed my test last week (with one minor!) but had a couple of awful lessons with my instructor the week before that.

I also noticed that my performance was affected when I was due in my period/the first day or so. Things that helped me were Bach rescue remedy, and doing loads of practice outside of lessons. This is really crucial and was the reason I didn’t pass first time about five years ago.

I hated driving. The pressure to pass my test was huge. Only my dad drove and his input was all very macho. Driving was basically a sign of success and skills
Failed it 4 times.
I passed when I wanted to drive for me and realised that my dad was wrong- very stupid people passed too. If they could drive so could I .Drive for a living in different cars everyday.

When you start learning all your focus is inside the car but as a driver all your focus is outside the car and what is happening on the road. I agree with pp who said do a running commentary of what you are seeing as you drive. If you haven’t got the opportunity to practice with someone you could practice this approach even as a passenger. I agree with others it’s all about practice. Good luck 🤞

Hey OP, I know everyone has already told you this but just stick at it. I'm 38 and I passed my test early this yeah after learning on and off since I was 18. I passed first time despite nearly calling it off the day before because I was so nervous. It was also the second time I'd postponed my test because I didn't feel ready despite my instructor telling me I was. And on the test I was convinced I had failed only about 10 minutes in. I was shocked at the end when they told me I had passed. Honesty it does get better but only after you've passed lol. I was so surprised at how much more chilled I was driving once it was just me in the car lol.

I would see if you could do shorter lessons each time instead. I found weekly 2 hour lessons too long, I just couldn't focus for that amount of time

Yes it gets better. Generally people say that you learn to drive properly after you pass your test.

Thank you so much everyone, you've honestly all made me feel loads better! I will definitely definitely definitely stick at it. 😊🥰

Try to think of it exactly the same as if you already had your licence, some days you would have a perfect drive with little to no incidences or mistakes, either through other drivers or perhaps being distracted yourself by lack of sleep or external issues, that’s why we have car insurance, either you or the other party will do something by mistake. That’s what it’s used for on the most part, people making mistakes. So yes, driving lessons absolutely go the same way, some lessons just turn out that way the same as a day to day drive for someone with a licence does, don’t lose heart. The fact you are questioning this in the first place indicates you will become a respectful and good driver . Just takes patience!

I passed my test 1st time 26yrs ago, I had about 35 lessons and out of them all I can honestly say only 3 felt really good, I was making mistakes right up until my test. When my instructor said I was ready for my test I just looked at him in disbelief but I went for it and had the most perfect drive at the time. I don't think that you ever feel that you are ready but you are. Good luck to you!