AIBU?

[LikeDaisies]

I feel like an awful mum sometimes.

I do everything I can with my baby (6 months). I’m still on Mat Leave.

Some days, I just feel drained and like I can’t entertain him. Take today for instance - I took him swimming this morning. Most of the rest of the day, I’ve left him to play independently with toys whilst I’m next to him, but I’ve just watched TV or been on my phone.

I feel awful even admitting this - it’s only some days I feel this way, but am I a bad Mum for this?

He’s always cared for - a very happy, clean and content baby. We get out every day to socialise/go to classes/swimming. But I’ve come to the end of today and just felt awful that I haven’t done more with him.

Am I selfish?

It can be hard at that age, there's not much you do with them so I personally found it quite boring until they got a bit older. Try talking to him more just about what you're doing and what he is doing to help with his language development, sing some songs, roll things back and forth. It's not ideal him being left that long without interaction, but don't be too hard on yourself.

You have got him up dressed, fed him, changed him into swimming stuff. Went swimming, dressed him after swimming. He didn’t make his own lunch you did that. Now you are chilling and watching the tv and baby is playing with toys. You are doing an excellent job.

It’s good for them to be content doing very little. Don’t worry!!

This 100%

It sounds like you are meeting all his needs. Babies can be very boring! You are not a bad mum x

It's really a good thing for baby to be able to entertain himself with his toys and it's ok for you to take a breather, have a cuppa or watch a bit of TV! We're all guilty of looking at our phones too much, and it's easy to spend too much time scrolling - if you want to resist the temptation, put your phone away in another room for a couple of hours and focus on being present. Babies love peek a boo, looking at baby books together and pointing out the animals, colours, shapes etc or put some music on and have a dance around with baby in your arms. Talking to your baby is one of the best things for their development so chat to him about what you're doing while you make dinner, tidy up etc. But it's really ok to have a sit down and a rest if he's playing happily 😊

You doing so well. I never managed swimming as it scared me as I'm not a good swimmer so you done way better than me. I did playgroups every morning then every afternoon dd slept then played. They need very little entertainment. Youve a happy content baby who just wants to be with you. You have mastered this xxx

I found being at home with mine quite hard at that age because I'm naturally not a very high-energy person so it was hard for me being the main source of entertainment/stimulation. I spent a lot of time taking them for walks in the pram or to the park, talking to them about what we saw but also just letting them watch the world go by. When we were at home I did chores around them while they played so I was around but not necessarily entertaining them. As much as possible I try to avoid using my phone around them because I observed that my physical presence whilst not being mentally present is confusing for them. But don't feel you have to entertain your DC 24/7 - in fact it's better if you don't and they learn to play independently.

Please dont give yourself a hard time!You sound like a great Mum .Wow swimming ! Never managed that ,Not a water lover .Honestly babe is dressed washed fed and changed ,And you too .Quite the achievement .Why do Mums feel such guilt? A bit of downtime .Im sure its better to be scrolling with babe next to you than having him down the garden!

The only point I'd make, is not to use your phone as a relaxation until your baby is in bed. My grandchildren absolutely hate their parents using the phone for scrolling. It can become a real distraction from your baby - and little ones do notice.

I echo this. Plus 6 months I think is such a tough age, they’re becoming more aware of wanting to be entertained but can’t really do anything themselves and still quite immobile. I found it pretty boring around 6 months, it’ll get way more fun in a couple of months when their little personality develops and they can get around a bit more independently!

Put the phone away and play with him. Narrate everything you do while you're playing. Sing nursery rhymes to him, read big picture books to him. It's how he'll learn to talk - the more you talk to him the more he will learn.

At 6 months old the idea that a baby needs to learn how to play independently is frankly ludicrous. That sort of reasoning is why so many kids are starting school with very poor speech and not potty trained.

I was in a coffee shop the other day and a dad was there with his toddler. He put some crisps in front his toddler and spend the next 45 minutes completely ignoring him on his phone. It was one of the most depressing things I'd ever seen.

Wait till hes a teenager...it'll be the other way round...thats if he bothers to get out of bed. Honestly dont worry xx