Attending office Christmas party with a newborn at home

[WhatAmIsupposeToDoNow]

I would like you guys to sense check me to see if I am being reasonable. Office party takes place mid December when my first born baby will be nearly 2.5 months old. She used to have formula but is ebf now. Immunization is booked just 3 days before the party. I am thinking of the following:

1. leave her at home with dad. There will be formula and I could try and pump some beforehand
2. book a hotel near the venue so I could pop in feed her when required and husband would look after her.

I would need to stay at the party for 3 hours at least. With driving that would be just under 5hours. I could book cheap hotel within 20min walk from the venue. I'm concerned about how she's going to feel after getting her jabs. She doesn't settle with my husband well but he is happy to do it even if means hours of her crying.

Is it doable and how to handle it in the best way?

Second jabs are bad ones as they include men b. She may be very out of sorts for at least 24 hours, possibly longer. Does she still take a bottle? If she doesn't this plan is a non starter for me. A grouchy hot baby who isn't relaxed with a bottle needs her mum.

Why do you have to go? Do you want to? Are you on maternity?

I skipped all of those kinds of events when mine were little.

Of course it’s fine. She will have her dad. I’d be tempted to do the hotel but I’d also do a trial run for a few hours to see if she takes a bottle when you’re not there.

The relationship with their dad is really important too and some time alone together is great for that.

Don’t let anyone guilt trip you otherwise.

I wouldn't worry about the jabs if they were three days before.
I would go and leave her at home with dad. If he's happy to try to settle her, that's brilliant, and it will pave the way for other times you might need to leave her.
I'd go and come back, leaving her for 5 ish hours is fine. You might be able to feed her just before you go.

She'll be fine. Just do a practice run first, with him putting her to bed etc.

You can leave her with her dad for 5 hours - or indefinitely! - as long as she takes a bottle. Check this again before you go if you've stopped giving her bottles now she's ebf.

I think I would probably have done the hotel in your shoes. But either plan is fine. The jab reaction is usually only 24-48 hours after the jab.

The first also include Men B.

I left DC1 at ten days with DH to go for a Xmas lunch. I expressed and baby took a bottle. Couldn’t wait to get out for a few hours. All well.

Why do you need to go? You have a tiny baby so are presumably on mat leave? I’d skip it.

At our Christmas parties any mums on maternity leave are invited with their baby which has always gone down well. But it really depends on the type of party!

5 hours sounds fine to leave the baby with dad but are you going to be able to relax? I think that’s the main thing and there’s no point going if it feels stressful. Do you have to go?

Why do you need to stay?
I took my then 4 week old to our Xmas meal and just stayed an hour then went.

I’d skip it, too. you have a very good excuse!

And if she’s not used to a bottle, she might well refuse it.

Work 🎄parties are usually a PITA anyway.

If you want to go, go. But it’s fine to say no too! My dd is 2 and I’m still using her as an excuse to not have to go to the office party!

I think you are thinking way too into it. Baby is fine to be left with Dad for 5 hours.
If you are on maternity leave, do you HAVE to go? It wouldn’t be expected for anyone on maternity leave to join, especially as it’s an hour away?
The hotel idea is uncomfortable for everyone and so unnecessary.

At that age I wouldnt bother. Next year you'll be able to go for as long as you like

Skip it

In this situation I'd probably have taken her if the drive was OK or I'd have not bothered but then mine didn't take a bottle!

Babies at office Xmas parties? Suppose they are a subdued event.

It's a long time ago now, but when ebf DS was tiny I went to the office party: DH drove me there and I fed the baby sitting in the car outside. He then looked after the baby -can't remember if he went home in between or not, he may have just prammed around and gone to cafe/pub - and then picked me up from the venue, and I fed the baby again in the car before going home.
I had expressed some beforehand, and there was formula available. I was worried about leaky boobs and had prepared for that, but at that stage I would have been quite uncomfortable going for more than 3-4 hours between feeds.

Why do you have stay for at least 3 hours OP? I can't imagine anyone will complain if a new mother just puts in an appearance for an hour or 2.

I would only go if I could pump enough and baby was consistently taking bottles from dad.

I wouldn't have gone. I wouldn't have had the confidence any of mine would take a bottle reliably at that age and I wouldn't have had enough of a pumped supply stored to make it viable anyway. And tbh I wouldn't have found a works Xmas do important to put myself through all the effort required to make it work!

On the other hand if this matters a lot to you and you really want to go...then go. Her dad says he can manage. Formula and bottles exist and she will survive even if she spends the whole evening refusing them!

Thank you for some really useful ideas. I don't have to go at all but I want to go. I want to have a bit of fun in adult environment and I think it will be good for my professional profile as well. I think it would be useful for her and dad too. And yes, she's happy to take bottle from dad but usually she falls asleep on my breasts only.

I like the idea of practice run beforehand. But agree that there's potentially a lot of effort for not very much in return.

There is another work thing closer to Christmas. At least it wouldn't be during her bed time. I don't have the dates for that yet but it would be a good back up plan just in case.

Id skip it. If it was 10 minutes down the road then I might go for an hour. But 2 hours driving not being able to drink just sounds a bit shit. But if you want to go then baby will be fine with dh

If you want to go - then it will be fine.
I went to a work Xmas party (it was just a big meal not a drinking event) when DD was 8 weeks, 1hr drive there and back. I had a great time!

She was EBF but I expressed some milk for her and she had a nice evening with her Dad - it’s handy to get them used to settling for other people.

I mean, I went to a party a month after my daughter was born, but it was a ten minute walk from my house and my mum was babysitting, so no judgement about going to a party from me. But I don’t understand why you are going when (presumably) on maternity leave? It wouldn’t be so bad, but why is a party venue 5 hours drive from where you live? That’s so inconvenient for all staff, surely, especially if you can only get there by car and can’t even drink. In that situation I just wouldn’t bother.

Edited to add I misread, 5 hours including 3 hours at the party isn’t too bad, not sure why you’d need to drive to a party though?

Each to their own, I wouldn’t do a five hour round trip for a sober Christmas party even without a newborn!

She and DP will survive if you go OP, don’t overthink it.