AIBU to say that if my boyfriend goes to the casino, he can’t sleep at our place that night?

[imtryingtoimprove]

Hi everyone,

I’m 19 and my boyfriend is 19. We’ve been together a 4 years.

My bf absolutely loves going to the casino. He talks about it several times a week and would happily go every week if I didn’t say anything. He keeps asking me to come with him, but I honestly have zero interest. I don’t enjoy gambling at all, I don’t want to spend my money there, and I hate “money games” in general.

On top of that, I have really bad sleep problems. I’m a very light sleeper, it takes me ages to fall asleep, and once I’m awake I don't go back to sleep. If he goes to the casino and then comes home late, full of adrenaline, it completely destroys my night. I end up waiting for him, and then I can’t sleep properly after he comes in.

Because of all this, I’ve set a boundary:
He is free to go to the casino if he wants, but if he goes, he can’t sleep at our apartment that night.
He has loads of options – he has friends who would happily have him to stay, and family members as well. It’s not like he’d be on the street. I’m not telling him he can’t go. I’m just saying that if he chooses to go, I don’t want the fallout on my sleep and my mental health.
The other big part of this is that I genuinely think he’s addicted, or at least heading that way. That’s basically my main reason for not wanting this in my life. It makes me really uncomfortable to feel like I’m enabling it by welcoming him back in the middle of the night like it’s all fine.

From my point of view, I’m not trying to control him – I’m trying to protect myself and my sleep, and I don’t want to support behaviour I see as a problem.
So, AIBU?
Is it unfair to say he can go to the casino if he wants, but if he does, he can’t sleep at our place that night?

No, it's his house too. If you framed it as him not allowing you to stay in your own home after your night out, you'd say it was controlling. If his lifestyle is not compatible with yours then you need to move on.

Precisely no one would get away with telling me i cant sleep in my own home after a night out.

But thats a red herring. He clearly has a gambling problem and believe me when i say they do not get over it until they have lost absolutely everything and hit rock bottom.

Youre 19. You need to get out of this mess of a relationship before he drags you down.

YABU to hitch yourself to a gambler at such a young age.

In your other post you said you were both 20, in this post you are both 19?

Either way, gambling at 19 at a casino is not like putting the lottery on or grabbing a scratch card. He could lose some serious money and once you start to disappear down that hole its hard to get back out.

Or any age

Thank goodness you found out he's a gambler when you're 19, not 39 with a family, debts and a mortgage. You're settling for nonsense when you have 70 years in front of you. Don't do it.

Run like the wind!

Tell him if he goes to the casino he cant be your boyfriend.
then when he goes ... because he is an addict who loves gambling....
Dump him and Get a new boyfriend.

This level of gambling is a recipe for a life of unhappiness.
You cant build a future with a man who is willing to gamble it!!!

This in spades, everything else is just noise.