Christmas

[ThatFunnyRoseSnail]

Genuinely need advice on what to do here. A while back i mentioned to DH that we should host our families for Christmas this year. This was met with a lukewarm response, with murmurings of us going away instead. I took that response to mean “no” and nothing was mentioned after that. We subsequently decided not to go away as its very expensive so i brought uo the idea of going to my mum’s instead as she had invited us. He agreed. It now transpires that after our initial conversation he had told SIL to keep Christmas day free as we are hosting, and then “forgot” about it. She, naturally, kept that day free and now we are stuck as my mum has already starting planning christmas at hers with extended family etc so it would be very difficult to get them all to come over here (elderly grandparents etc.). I’m annoyed to say the least. AIBU to think he should tell SIL that we aren’t hosting christmas day anymore?

Tell her. She has a whole month to make other plans.

DH is to blame for agreeing with your mum plans and telling SIL another thing

let DH deal with the fallout with SIL

DH needs to tell SIL he made a mistake. She has plenty of notice, it's not a big deal. And if she feels it is, that's his fault!
Make sure you go to your Mum's and hopefully in future he will pay more attention.

Your husband forgot so this is his issue to clean up. He needs to speak to his sister and fess up for forgetting.

This

Sounds like a clear case of DH banking on the women Christmas fairies doing all the planning and execution of Christmas Day while he takes credit because it was his idea.

He needs to tell his sister that he'd already agreed to go to your DPs this year so shouldn't have made the offer. She'll have to make her own arrangements this year, but perhaps he should have her to yours for Christmas next year and he do all the arrangements?

Maybe have her over on Christmas Eve or Boxing Day this year instead?

Definitely his problem to solve but be aware that he may make you the scapegoat in this OP. If you have a good relationship with SIL and/or she knows he's unreliable with stuff like this, it might be better to speak to her yourself.
Is he the sort of person to own his mistake?

DH messed up here and he needs to admit such to his sister whilst she still has time to make other plans.

You and your DH need to communicate better with each other.
Mentioned
Lukewarm response
Murmurings
Took that response to mean
Brought up idea
Keep the day free (not a plan!)

None of those are sitting together and having a clear conversation!

The simplest solution this time is to apologise to SIL for the misunderstanding. Hopefully that doesn’t leave her alone. If you live near enough, perhaps split the day - morning and lunch at your mother’s house, afternoon and evening at home with your SIL.

Its a bit rude to uninvite someone, esp if that person is on their own.

You need to decide who you prioritise As your going to piss someone off.

your DH stays home and hosts his sister and you go to your mum's?

Can’t they go to your mum’s with you?

Is SIL on her own? Any other family she can go to?
In her position I would be upset that I was invited for Christmas day only to be told the hosts are buggering off somewhere else because two adults can't make a proper plan between them.
I think you & your DH have pulled a shit trick on your SIL!

Correction. DH should tell her. She has a whole month to make other plans!

It’s just a roast dinner when all said and done. Have it at yours, give your mum a break and do something nice for your in laws.

I think you & your DH have pulled a shit trick on your SIL!

meh. OP didn't invite her. OP accepted an invitation to go to her mum's. And in OPs shoes, that is what i would be doing.

DH who invited SIL can choose between hosting his sister or telling her he got his wires crossed and uninvite her.