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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder where neighbour's wife is

23 replies

lizzidripping · 24/11/2025 09:44

This thought started off a little light hearted but I am actually genuinely a little curious.

My parents' next door neighbour got married recently. My parents still live in the house we grew up in and so we know the neighbours well enough to stop and say hi and ask how they are if we do see them out and about. The neighbours are an elderly couple and one of their adult sons lives with them. Their other children all moved out decades ago and are married with their own families now. The son who lives with them, I would say he was in his early 50s (when we were growing up I know he was a little older than my uncle who had his 50th birthday last year). Let's call him Bob.

Anyway, growing up, and more recently we'd hear Bob have some pretty acrimonious fights with his mum. His mum is agoraphobic and almost never goes out the front door. She's friendly enough but any conversations with her happen at the fence of the back garden. Anyway... My parents recently got a wedding invitation for Bob's wedding. We all thought that's so lovely as he's been so very single and well just not getting on with his mum for such a long time. Bob began doing lots of refurbishments to the house and said it was in preparation for his wife moving in.

My parents couldn't make the wedding but my dad had a card and gift to give him. Bob's mum told my dad Bob was on honeymoon and so my dad waited for him to get back to give the gift. Bob did come back from honeymoon and my dad gave him his gift. My dad mentioned to me he didn't see his wife and then in passing the other day my dad was saying how he's never seen Bob's wife.

My parents have a Ring doorbell which me and my siblings access for mostly my elderly dad's safety and communicating with their delivery couriers. And it does cover Bob's front gate (semi detached property). And there's been no trace of anyone moving in... They got married almost two months ago.

And so, where is she?

OP posts:
PollyBell · 24/11/2025 09:47

Hiding from the neighbours?

Swiftie1878 · 24/11/2025 09:47

Ooooh! This is brilliant!
A phantom bride 😳😬

Melsy88 · 24/11/2025 09:50

She's probably just not moved in yet? Sounds like they were living separately before the marriage. Maybe she's just finishing the sale of her house/waiting until end of term if she has kids and needs to move schools etc?

Sleepyandtiredandlazy · 24/11/2025 09:51

Where was the wedding held? Was it in this country?
I would wonder if he has found himself a Thai bride or similar. Gosh that sounds racist but I know it is a fairly common thing amongst certain, especially older, men. If thats the case there may be legal hoops to go through before she arrives.

readingismycardio · 24/11/2025 09:52

I wonder if she’s an imaginary bride

breezyyy · 24/11/2025 09:53

PollyBell · 24/11/2025 09:47

Hiding from the neighbours?

Particularly the ring doorbell.

TheTowerAtMidnight · 24/11/2025 09:53

She's probably still in Thailand!

noidea69 · 24/11/2025 09:54

Sounds like the plot of a shitty channel 5 drama mini series.

breezyyy · 24/11/2025 09:54

It’ll have been a ploy to replenish his tatty kitchen appliances.

FuzzyWolf · 24/11/2025 09:55

What a shame your parents couldn’t make the wedding!

One way to resolve your curiosity is to go round with a Christmas gift and have a chat to Bob or his parents. I think it’s a natural enough question to ask rather than one people feel they should stay away from.

lizzidripping · 24/11/2025 09:57

The wedding was in London. And the bride did have a western name but a foreign spelling eg. Cyntia. I don't know where she's from. Bob's dad is Arab and his mum is Spanish but the whole family were born and raised in London.

OP posts:
InterestedDad37 · 24/11/2025 10:26

The new wife is receiving last minute training from the Kremlin before taking up her post and duties here 🙂

ChocHotolate · 24/11/2025 11:49

Fake wedding to get loads of presents?

Didimum · 24/11/2025 12:50

This has all the makings of an MN classic, and I am here for it.

Why do your parents not enquire, in a friendly way, when the wife is moving in, with the interest that they would love to meet her and say congratulations in person?

SlightTickle · 24/11/2025 12:53

Could be anything. For the first decade of our marriage I worked in another country six months a year. DH used to fly over for weekends.

Suednymph · 24/11/2025 12:56

Could be waiting on a visa from another country, doesn't always have to be thailand or she has loose ends to tie up with her own home. He could have killed her of course.

Has he social media at all? My nose would be at me.

FeliciaFancybottom · 24/11/2025 12:59

Maybe she heard what busybody neighbours Bob has and noped on out of there.

333FionaG · 24/11/2025 12:59

Thai bride who isn't allowed to come into the UK because of visa restrictions or something really dull like that.

SnoopyPajamas · 24/11/2025 13:08
homer simpson GIF

A telescope and a plucky little sister would solve this mystery

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 24/11/2025 13:10

Did any of the others neighbours go to the wedding do you know?

Poodlelove · 24/11/2025 13:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sammylady37 · 24/11/2025 14:39

Jesus. I would hate to live with this level of scrutiny from neighbours.

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