How often do you go out drinking?

[FunnyFerret]

My dear friend and I (30’s) have young DC (all under 5). She goes out partying every other weekend. I have (embarrassingly) not been on a night out since my DC were born. If I do go out, it’s with DH for dinner or to the cinema.

Whenever DF sends me clips from her wild nights, I feel like a bit of an old fart. Should I be making more of an effort to go on nights out?

YABU: Yes, you need to get out more.
YANBU: No, there’s nothing wrong with staying in!

Neither option is right! If you want to go out do, if you don’t, then don’t!

I try and see my friends as often as we can make it work. I love socialising, so every fortnight sounds ideal to me (sadly not possible as it’s hard to get a date when everyone is free).

As long as you want to stay in (you sound a little envious in your post as you feel a bit sad about it), then stay in. If you want to go out then arrange something with your friends.

If you want to go out then yes, if not then what does it matter.

I'm sure there'll be plenty of posters along shortly to tell you that by your 30s you should be staying in with your once yearly thimble of sherry and the knitting out!

At the end of the day as long as you, your kids and your husband are all happy with your collective social lives it doesn't really matter what anyone else is up to.

I do still meet up with friends, but mainly for daytime bits like lunch, coffee, or a walk. I just don’t have a desire to go clubbing anymore, I think the hangover would finish me off! I’m just trying to work out if this is normal for my age, or if my DF is the one who’s more normal.

It depends if you actually want to go out or not! I would say your friend goes out more than the average. I think I only went out a handful of times in the whole of my 30s without my children! But I was happy with that and didn't care as I was long past partying and a lot of my friends weren't local.

30 something and I never go on nights like that anymore. I can’t be arsed and don’t know anyone who does either. We’d rather get food and have a relaxed time rather than a piss up.

I've never been into drinking or clubbing. Yes, people made me feel dull for it, and I was often excluded. I often wondered what was wrong with me for preferring staying in or cinena/dinner.

But I'd be up going for an early morning walk while they were rolling around with a hangover, and have spent my money on travelling the world. So, it's just different choices.

You’re both normal! It’s fine to go out and fine to stay in. As long as you’re both happy, then I really wouldn’t worry too much about it.

I’m sure you don’t just do things to ‘appear normal’ (there is no such thing!), just be happy in your choices and happy for other’s choices. You both seem to having a lovely time despite having different preferences.

Never. I used to go clubbing and a lot of gigs in my youth and still go to gigs once a month or so and obviously meet up with friends for activities. But I’ve never gone out solely with the aim of drinking which is what I assume you mean by ‘going out drinking’.

I happily go out during the day, night is for streaming TV i am happy with the excitement of thaf

There isn't a normal, it's just what you each prefer.

I've always loved clubbing and I still go to clubs, but I don't really drink when I do - it's all about the music. I'm a bit tired the next day but not really hungover. Ironically the most drunk I get now is when I'm at home, either hosting or if DP and I crack open a bottle.

I'm in my 50s but on the odd ocassion I go 'out out' now...I'm just so relieved to get home. Maybe go on a clubbing night out and then see how relieved you are afterwards...?

I don’t ever go out drinking. I used to when I was younger but haven’t for a long time. These days socialising for me involves going out for dinner or having friends over for dinner (some people will drink on those occasions, some won’t and those who do don’t tend to get pissed). But my favourite is day time socialising- a walk and lunch is perfect.

I realised I never really liked clubbing. When I was a teen I did it because the clubs stayed open later than pubs and I might meet a hot guy! 😂
Once I was no longer bothered about those things, I lost all interest.

If I'm meeting up with friends now, I want it to be somewhere we can hear ourselves talk. I don't enjoy dancing as an activity so I don't bother going to any events like that. I go to the occasional gig but because it's someone I really like and want to see live. I wouldn't go to one for the sake of it.

I am older than you but I forced myself to do things I didn't enjoy when I was younger because I felt I should. It was a waste of time. I should have just stuck with the things I did enjoy.

Lots of places now do daytime or early evening clubbing events because so many people enjoy the experience but don’t want to be out late.

you are not alone!

Lots of people realise, sooner or later, that going out clubbing and getting pissed is actually fucking awful. I don't think I've been properly drunk for about 20 years and I don't miss it at all.

What's the point of wasting a load of money on something you no longer enjoy?

There's no reasonable or unreasonable here. It's totally down to personal preference.

I like a drink, but I've never been that keen on clubbing or partying, so a night out for me has always been more likely to be dinner and drinks, or going to a gig, or going to a friend's house for the evening or something like that.

In my 30s I went out clubbing every weekend but I wasn't married and don't have kids. In my 50s the thought of that kind of night is not appealing at all, I'm happy with a book and an early night.