You make me a better man

[blondlygo]

Has your OH ever said this to you?
Do you think its a nice thing to say?
Is it a red flag if they never say it and /or disagree if you ask them about the suggestion?

Code for I’m a complete shit and I’m useless at everything so you make my life so much easier and keep me on the straight and narrow.

Often said to me by my OH who I’m convinced would be nothing without me, he wouldn’t even have a clean T-shirt.

Only my experience of course.

No man has ever said that to me. Am I missing out?

it’s not up to women to “fix” men. It’s a short step from that to “it’s your fault I’m a crap man.”

My husband has said this to me many, many times. And vice versa. I can only think it’s a good thing.

It’s a misquote from a movie ( As Good as It Gets) and just sounds insincere to me. Like ‘you complete me’.

If you’re in a committed, loving, supportive relationship then you each make each other better - greater together than individually.

But if you’re a lazy awful partner, you might latch on to someone who makes you better by covering up your flaws and compensating for you.

So the phrase itself can be a compliment or a compensation, depending on the person who says it.

I did say this to my husband as actually he does make me want to be a nicer person than the demon devil inside me wants to be

Have you been watching "As Good As It Gets" by any chance @blondlygo ?

My wife made me a better man. In the sense that I wanted to be the best possible version of me that I could. For her. I pushed myself into a better career, which I never would have done otherwise.

Does that mean I am not without failings? Of course not. There are many things I could have done differently.

Did I ever articulate this to her? I don't think so. Not in any meaningful way. To say "you make me want to be a better man" per the film is trite. My wife did make me want to be a better man though, but that doesn't go anywhere close to doing it justice. I don't think there were ever words that could have conveyed how much. Or conversely, how ridiculous the concept of being "a better man" actually is. I just wanted her to be happy.

This!

Never seen that film.

I think its a nice thing to say, I asked OH if I make him (want to be) a better man?

He said no.

Isn't that a line out of some film? It's along the lines of 'you complete me'.

Was considered romantic back when the best compliment you could pay a woman was how useful she was to the man in her life. I would not like it now but maybe your blokes just parroting what he thinks is romantic.

Two different men have said this to me, 20 years apart, both very sincere.

One went & did his gas qualifications after leaving school with nothing. I'd inspired him to want more apparently - I'm just very glad he did it for himself. Lovely guy.

The other was DH in a very unexpected and impromptu conversation on our anniversary, about how much better his life was with me in it and how I'd made him want to be 'better' for our family. He's not that kind of man at all, so it was quite a thing after all these years.

I took both as a huge compliment.

It's a nice thing to say but I wouldn't say it's a red flag if someone doesn't say it. You can't tell someone what compliments to give you!

The only men who have said this to me were really looking for a mother rather than a partner.