AIBU to not let DS go to a rave

[ThatLimeNewt]

DS16 wants to go to a "rave" in London over Christmas. The event is from 4-9pm and it's only for16-18 year olds. AIBU unreasonable to not let DS go? The event is organised by Take off and its happening in the Ministry of Sound which is in a dodgy part of London. I am concerned about the safety of DS as he will have to walk through the dodgy area in order to get to the event. Also only one of DS's friends wants to go, shouldn't he go in a bigger group? He's been quite pissed at me over the past few days because I've refused to let him go.

Elephant and Castle will be ok, it’ll be busy which is a good thing.

Sounds like a great event for teens.

If you're concerned about the area, arrange pick up and drop offs with his friends parents. You take, they collect or vice versa.

That's assuming friend's parents are willing and able to do that.

16yos who live in the area presumably go out in the evening without being ferried about by parents or taxis.

I’d let him go my 17 year old went to one in the city in summer, rave for under 18 he was fine , just asked that he send me a txt when there and when leaving. The organisers know they are still kids and don’t want any bad publicity so do look after them and keep an eye out, he will be fine.

• Elephant and Castle suffers from a bad reputation because of years gone by; it’s been massively regenerated over the last 15 years and I’d say it’s no more “dodgy” than any other part of London

• The MoS is literally a minute by walk from the underground station, no doubt everyone from the event will be heading that way en masse when the event ends

• Your son is 2 years away from being an adult, how do you think he’s going to handle going out and about at 18 - when alcohol will be involved - if he has no experience? At some point he’s going to have to learn how to navigate nights out, dodgy areas and how to handle himself if he finds himself alone or in an unfamiliar area etc. It’s best he starts now before alcohol is thrown into the mix so he’s not thrown into the deep end

• I think it’s lovely that he even asked you and shows he’s sensible and can be trusted. At his age I knew my parents would automatically say no to things so I just lied and snuck about

We went to far dodgier things when I was 16, and drank, and took speed, and our parents knew nothing, and we survived and contributed to society 👍

We were going to proper clubs at 16 never mind under age ones and everyone of my friends are fully functioning adults who never took any drugs

You are being massively unreasonable and if anything this is a good introduction to going out but in a safe environment

I know I would worry but I would say yes to this one as it’s specifically for teens and is basically an under age disco. I’ve been to the MOS loads of times and security is tight. The only thing I’ve found with elephant is that it can be a bit quiet going through the underpass and getting there but it will be during the day so should be ok. Either drop off and pick up or sort an uber if you are worried. The actual club itself is well run.

Don't be so feeble - it sounds ideal for a 16 year old.

Deny him this now and in a couple of years he'll be going off to all nighters telling you he's staying at his friend's house to play backgammon.

It's the forbidden fruit that tastes the sweetest.

(source: me - I was a proper raver in my youth and know all the tricks they play as it takes one to know one!)

It’s normal to feel protective, but try to take a breath. At 16, he’s right at the age where social independence becomes a huge part of his development, and saying a flat “no” might create more tension between you both than the actual event is worth. You don’t want this to turn into a battle that damages your relationship long term.

Relax a little if you can — he’ll feel trusted, you’ll feel more in control of the plan, and you’ll avoid unnecessary resentment. It could be a good compromise for both of you. Ministry of Sound also hosts a lot of well-run under-18 events, so it's not the free-for-all you might think it sounds like.

To help you cope with letting go of your control of him, look at ways to make it safer rather than banning it — help him plan the route, arrange safe transport there and back.

Elephant and Castle isnt "dodgy". The venue is right by a big university campus.

Oh my word. I can't believe you won't let him go. With a friend. FFS. Talk about over-anxious.

When I was his age I was going to illegal free parties in fields, totally unregulated, no security, no medical facilities and full of class A drugs.

This seems incredibly tame by comparison: well organised and managed and deliberately catered to younger people.

If you don’t let him go he will resent you and want to go to far dodgier places.

You are being way OTT here. Guaranteed he won’t tell you when he’s going to less regulated places in a year or twos time (and he will).

its so not a dodgy area, wasn’t even that bad when Ministry was opened in the 90s .

these kiddie raves are a great idea. Did you never go to a u18s disco when you were young? Missed out if not!

I think it’s a well organised event that is a good starter for encouraging independence and being safe.

I use to go to alot of underage nights as a teen (on a while back now) but they were very fun and I have fond memories! We couldn't even drink alcohol inside as it was very strict.

OMG NOT ELEPHANT AND CASTLE that’s the BAKERLOO line no one comes out alive!

He’ll be fine.

What are you fearing?

Surely if he wanted to do anything dodgy, like take drugs, have gay sex, get legless on cheap supermarket cider, he could do it during the day in the park?

Surely he's safer in a club? If the Ministry of Sound was a bad place, they would have closed it down. Also with the venue price of drinks these days, he'll probably only be able to afford 2 beers. No wonder more and more mums are turning to Prosecco in the Park parties.

My DS (just turned 16 this month) has been going to the under 18 nightclub in Brighton for the past few months. He and his mates have a great time. Not been any trouble that I’m aware of.

I’d let him go. Have the tracker on his phone.

Ooh what club is that?

Id absolutely allow this and I'm quite cautious parent

Don’t let him go to a perfectly legit event for his own age group after he has asked and you’ll find that next time and for the rest of time he won’t ask and he’ll lie to you.

Same! Fake ID to get into The Venue at New Cross. Let him go! The kids love all that kind of thing. He’ll never be that age again x

Yeah it’s not a real rave 😅
It’s just a teen concert and Ministry of Sound is tame.

There won’t be songs about beating your bitch up or raping dem hos with your bros or shooting up a school.

id let him go. Good clean fun for younger teens.

Oh for Pete’s sake. Do you ever leave your house? I’m in my 60s and I’m back and forth to London all the time. This sounds like the most sanitised and pedestrian thing going. When I was 16 I was underage drinking in nightclubs.