To be slightly (well more than slightly) pissed off

[Stressedoutmummyof3]

DH and I have got really nasty colds. Coughing, sore throat, headache, tired and achy.
So who is it only me who's up with DS? Why is it okay for DH to lie in bed most of the day while I struggle with the kids?
I told DH I need a hand but he's apparently too ill and wants to stay in bed so he's hopefully okay for work tomorrow?
Where's my day in bed? I'm not just a SAHM I'm a carer to a child with severe SEN but it will still be me up doing everything tomorrow regardless of DH works or not.
Tell me I'm not unreasonable to feel really pissed off with him?

What does he say when you say you're too ill to deal with the kids? If you just stayed in bed he'd have to get up wouldn't he?

Yanbu, not even a little bit.

Tell him he is a selfish arsehole and you need a couple of hours sleep so he has to deal with ds.

This always shows what men think of women who do the caring so they can go off and do their jobs without a thought for childcare, illnesses or anything else.

Hope you feel better soon op 💐

Hoof him out of bed and tell him to be a father and a partner. He's out of order. 👍

He just wouldn't. Just refuses to get up. Now he's decided he's too ill to go to work tomorrow. He won't be helping though or doing the school run (because he's still ill).
I mean rbf he's not ill that often but when he is he is really pathetic. Not seen the dressing gown of doom yet though so maybe there's still hope.

Don't have anymore kids with this man.

If you’re both unwell then you should take shifts.
dont don’t anything for him- food , drinks, medication etc.

My dad spent every minute of his life when not wearing his work suit in the 'dressing gown of doom'! 🤣

I hope you're not rushing about serving hot drinks and soup or plumping up pillows

Selfish git

Oh, wow. 😡🤬
First, OP, get well soon. Is it possible to explain the situation to your kid and let him entertain himself, or just eat easy crap for couple of days? I missed how old your son was.
Secondly, your husband is way out of order and sees you as the default parent, the wet wipe.
My husband and myself had a really bad virus, both together, could hardly walk etc. No kids.
Husband is 75 and did absolutely what he could around here, if it was needed. It was hard to even load a washing machine.
As a PP said, get him out of bed.

Why did you birth children to this selfish waste of space?

Oh, come on, please.
These situations show what these men are made of, don't they?

This post could have been written by my DH last week. The reason I wasn't getting up or sharing the workload was because I couldn't stand up. I know you're both sick but is it possible he's sicker?

Yes and there are absolutely zero
signs beforehand that he is lazy or selfish. Absolutely zero.

No way I'd be letting him stay in bed, hell or high water he'd be getting up to help with his child.

How many and how old are your DC?

Can you have a lazy day on the sofa and a film with them?

If you are both equally ill then leave him in bed for now and then late afternoon tell him it's his turn to get up so you can go and rest.

You don’t need a hand. You need him to parent equally.

This^^

Don’t beat about the bush op!

When he appears this afternoon say something like, “I did the morning shift when I was feeling ill, now it’s your turn” and hand him your child and go to bed!

Thing is, when you're both ill, they will take it to the wire, like responsibility chicken. So ultimately the parent who most cares about ensuring the DC are looked after ends up having to do it.
Yes OP, its really annoying but if you have a partner who is prepared to see his DC not looked after when he's ill, there isn't a lot you can do.

Tell him to get the fuck out of the bed and do some parenting so you can rest.

Yeah, I can see that now. He clearly sees OP as the default parent due to being an SAHP. Regardless of how ill you feel.

I voted yabu because you must not put up with this.

Go back to bed, take the kids with you with an ipad and let them keep him awake too.

I do hope he is genuinely sicker than you and physically cannot help, you will already know which it is so I doubt you'd be complaining here if you believed that.

If he really doesn't care enough about you or the DC to do his part you need to LTB.

Sorry you are sick and gave a shit dh. I hope you feel better soon.

Stop framing it as him "helping" you.

Also change the wifi password/hide his phone

So sorry to read this, OP, and I hope you start to feel better soon. I remember DH worked away a lot when my DCs were younger, and it was hard going even if I wasn't ill.

I haven't RTFT so apologies if this has already been covered, but would your husband help with the DCs if you were ill and he wasn't?

Of course YANBU, he's typical of a lot of men who regress to childhood at the first sign of a slight sniffle! I hope you feel better soon.
You say that the dressing gown of doom hasn't appeared yet, but is he doing the "ill voice"?