12k in debt just found out pregnant - bad example?

[Discoprincess6]

Hi I kind of know I’m being silly. But I’m 12k in debt and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant.

i feel awful about it, like I’m not a good example for my child. I’m feeling so so guilty. I’m paying it back but have another 4 years left. My partner knows about the debt.

But I’m worried I can’t even manage my own finances and I’m adding a baby into it. I’m panicking. I want to be a good mum but how can I be when I’m rubbish with money.

What kind of debt is it? one bank loan for a car etc or credit/store cards. You're not a bad example to your child, you're tackling it head on and have a realistic payment plan (I hope?). A bad example would be if you brought your child up relying on debt to have things you don't need. Honestly, I know it's anxiety inducing but don't stress. Can you afford the baby? Can you commit to educating yourself on finances now?

Get yourself on YouTube and do the Rebel Finance School free course. It's often recommended by MNetters. It'll teach you about getting out of debt, staying out of debt, managing your finances and investing. Then you'll set a good example for your child and team them how to be smart with money.

All the best.

It's not just about the example you're setting. Can you actually afford to have this child? If you can't fund your own life, how are you going to fund someone else's living costs? Nappies, food, clothes, childcare etc etc. I assume you're not planning for your child's life to be funded by the tax payer even before it's born. Hopefully you'll sit down and do the figures: your own living costs + a debt to service + a baby = a lot of money required. Can you afford it?

Contact Step Change for help managing the debt if needed - you may need a payment break while on mat leave.

Other than that it's not the end of the world - just educate yourself for the future.

I am sure you'll be a great mother and a great financial example by the time they are old enough to compute anything like that.

The great news is, you can turn this around before your baby is even aware. You have years before they’ll be picking up on money habits.

Try the Financielle app/community/podcasts - there’s loads of people on there who were in the same place as you and used the Financielle methodology to improve their position. It’s tough to do, but I find it really helpful there’s other people to talk to at different stages of their journey (many started in a much worse place than you) and it helps keep the inspiration!

Baby won't know.
My biggest concern, however, is uf you ate going to be able to make the final 3 years of payments - your earnings will drop significantly during maternity leave, and when you return to work, a big chunk of household income is likely to be taken up be childcare fees. Please look carefully at how you are going to afford it all.

How old are you? Is this your 1st baby @Discoprincess6

thanks so much everyone. My partner will be taking on much of the house spending. I can manage the debt repayments at the moment. I may have to look at it when I go on mat leave.

im planning to save as much as I can whilst pregnant. It will be my only child.

They are totally unrelated things and there is no need to feel guilt about your debt so I voted YABU to feel like that.

Congratulations! You can get out of debt over time- no need to put your life on hold!

@HoskinsChoice what do you suggest she does about the baby, if on paper, she can't afford him/her?

This

I'd suggest she does a jaunty jig, strokes a Shetland pony then does a remarkably good impression of David Bowie.

(Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer).