To be upset by MIL’s comments two days postpartum

[Kat9876]

MIL came to visit two days after having my baby. I ended up having a c section. I also have a two year old toddler so things are pretty stretched right now.

MIL showed up with a box of roses for me and DH to share as a gift. She then said to DH ‘I was going to get her (me) flowers but I know you (DH) wouldn’t be too bothered with flowers, so I got chocolates instead as I know you like them more. It is your baby too after all’

At this point I was two days after major abdominal surgery breastfeeding around the clock. Saying it’s his baby too just felt like quite a strange thing to say.

DH stepped in and said I can’t take the credit as wife did all the work with bringing baby into world.

I then had one of the chocolates and I put the wrapper in the tub as was feeding baby and too sore to go to him to put wrapper in it. She snatched the wrapper out the box and said don’t put the wrapper back into the box it really annoys me when people do that. Not a major deal but when you’re recovering from surgery felt like the telling off I did not ask for.

My MIL has a history of being insensitive towards others. AIBU that this has bothered me?

Do you think? I don’t- she sounds really fucking insensitive at best!

My mil with whom I didn't share any gory details with told me I was very lucky and when I mentioned a slight symptom she snapped back she's had it as well and this and that.
No empathy not said in a nice way but a don't you dare try and get any sympathy here.

Utter bitch

I am still salty about a few things my SIL did, and that was 6 years ago (after a 5 day NICU stay for DD and 5 days in hospital for me for things that happened after birth).

Turned up 10 minutes after the birth, and shouted how big my boobs were, and how I looked like shit. Then proceeded to take my baby and parade her on facetime to her friends for 45 minutes. Wouldn't leave after 3 hours, when I was desperate to go to bed, and complained when I wouldn't let her feed my baby.

When she had her own, I just kept my distance. DH wondered why until pointed it all out, and he agreed, but said I shouldn't hold grudges. His only excuse was that she has main character syndrome and wouldn't listen.

Still annoyed he didn't intervene at the time, as he is normally pretty good.8

I’d be pissed off at that too! We all know your husband is a new dad too, and we all know it must be hard for men to watch the person they love the most go through so much when giving birth. But she just did NOT need to say that, giving the chocolates without a comment would’ve sufficed.

2 days pp? I’d have got Dh to tell her to give you a few days and no way would she be staying more than a couple of hours!

She sounds very annoying. To be fair, mine could have breathed two days postpartum and I'd have wanted to headbutt her, so I think you're being very restrained.

She sounds like an idiot and a cow. I hope you don't see too much of her, and if you do I'd change that.

In the meantime next time she turns up and is rude about sweet wrappers say 'time to head off Beverly, DH will see you out'.

She sounds very annoying. I'd have taken all the chocolate and baby into another room!

I think chocolate to share was fine but telling you off for the wrapper was really rude and uncalled for

She snatched the wrapper out the box and said don’t put the wrapper back into the box it really annoys me when people do that.

I HAD MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY 2 DAYS AGO MILDRED. I'M NOT WALKING WELL RIGHT NOW...Good job you're here as you can put the wrappers in the bin cant you?

Call out her behaviour, facts not nastiness. Least DH acknowledged

She’s being a dick. I’d have eaten all the chocolates in front of her and put every wrapper back in the box. You’re a grown up in your own house you don’t have to put up with being scolded like a child.

Yanbu. On a normal day, she was being rude, 2 days post party and post c section, she was being insensitive and unkind.

I'd have sent her home and DH given clear instructions to keep her well away from me until i was good and ready to put up with her.

Congratulations on your new baby OP, concentrate on the baby, you and your DH and let everything else go hang.

Thoughtless bastard. Enjoy your new baby x

My MIL came to the hospital after the dufficult birth of my second son, looked at him, sighed and said what a shame it was he wasn't a girl.

Oh and when I had my first baby( c section) I had the temerity to be in hospital on Christmas day which meant that the new born baby Jesus was not at her Downton Abbey style Christmas table. She didn't speak to me when I was discharged on the afternoon of Boxing Day because I had spoiled everything .

I’d buy my own chocolates and eat them in my own house feeding my own baby, and put the wrappers back in the box or on my own floor. How do like them apples, evil MIL?

How was she after your first baby? If similar, ten I would have not allowed her to visit after only 2 days. My MIL was not insensitive but useless when she came 10 days pp, so this time I'm having a 3 week boundary so we don't have to host her.