That 12/13 year olds shouldn’t be watching Scream?

[Mull]

How would you feel if your DD (13) went to a birthday party and they watched Scream, an 18 rated film? This was with full knowledge of the birthday girl’s parents.

DD has never even watched a 15, let alone an 18. I looked on common sense media which suggests it’s 16+. I watched the film years ago and remember it being quite funny (slasher parody?) but also scary and gory.

I’m furious about it but DH thinks I’m over reacting a bit. I’m biased as watched a lot of films I shouldn’t have when I was too young (IT, Chuckie and Silence of the Lambs spring to mind) and had nightmares for years.

Should I let it go or speak to the parents? DD doesn’t seem bothered by it, but I am!

I think it's disgusting and highly damaging. You can't unwatch images.

I agree as we had no say over this and now she can’t unsee it. Should I bring it up with the parents though?

I think it depends on the child. I watched horror as a young teen at sleepovers and it was great fun.

Mine would have been fine watching it at that age. I think that the parents should have done a quick WA to check. Would you have picked her up?

That’s my niece’s favourite film and she’s 13. She’s watched all of them and loves the horror genre! I was the same when I was her age, and still primarily watch horror films over others.

If she doesn’t seem bothered by it I wouldn’t speak to the parents on this occasion. If she stays again, it might be worth asking them to be mindful of age restrictions.

Imo of course they shouldn't watch it, but even if the friend's parents are more lax with their kids I have no idea what they were thinking not asking you beforehand. I definitely wouldn't be sending my child back to their house unsupervised - who knows what else they allow.

We watched scream at that age, it wasn't scary scary like other films we wouldn't have been allowed to watch but very campy and made us scream which we found hilarious. Lots of enjoyment had watching it feeling like grown-ups.

However, totally agree they should have checked in with you rather than just sticking it on

Ds1 is 22 and would never watch it. It just isn't a genre he likes. He will watch Sixth Sense type movies though.

Honestly it is entirely dependent on the child. You said your DD isn't bothered. Is it peer pressure or she genuinely isn't affected by watching it? Would she be able to say she doesn't want to watch something if all the others are up for it?

I watched American Werewolf in London at 10 because I went to an 11th birthday party of a school friend and her older brother chose the movies for us. I was badly affected by it but then did go on to watch stuff like Nightmare on Elm Street around 14. It is not something I would ever watch today. I did it to fit in.

I remember sneakily watching similar films at sleepovers, but I wouldn't be impressed at another parent knowingly letting them watch an 18.

I don't think I'd say anything though. If they don't see an issue themselves, they'll probably think you're being ridiculous. And it could cause issues if their DD overhears them laughing about you and tells your DD's friendship group. Probably better not to allow sleepovers at this particular friend's house in future.

I would just make sure I check with parents in future but not mention to the parents now what’s done is done. If you bumped into them you could say thanks so much for the sleepover but you were a bit surprised the children were watching an 18 cert. I wouldn’t go out of your way to message though as no good will come of it. I let my child go on a sleepover recently and had messaged the mum
to check no devices etc. All good. The kids still
snuck down to watch YouTube in the middle of the night so I’m going to have to think carefully where I let sleepovers happen in future….

I know somebody who let there 10 year old DD watch the saw films every single night. Which I honestly find shockingly bad parenting. Clearly can't care about there child's mental well being exposing them to stuff like that.

My youngest is now 17 but I
would never have dreamt of letting his friends watch a movie with an older age rating unless I’d checked with the parents. I’d have been furious if hed watched an 18 at 13 years old.

Hiw well do you know the parents? Are they likely to be invited for a sleepover again?

Up to you whether you bring it up, I’m not sure there’s much to be gained, I’d not let my child stay there again.

If they’d put a message in the group chat before the event I would have asked that they show a more age appropriate film.

If they’d messaged on the night and said what they were going to watch, I would have raised concerns but I don’t think I would have gone and got her. She would have been mortified so I’d have sucked it up.

I won’t raise it with the parents but I’m very grumpy about it. Will definitely be more wary of her going there in the future.

I will never understand why parents can’t let their children wait to watch this kind of stuff.

I watched the original Scream at about that age, it’s very teeny and I don’t think either of my dc would have been particularly bothered by it. The news is more scary to me than horror type films these days.

I watched it as a tween - I was not damaged by it

But, if I was hosting a sleepover/gathering, I’d never ever consider showing a 15+ (Gremlins is surprisingly 15) film without checking if it was ok.

I accidentally clicked YABU which was wrong. I think it’s a grossly misogynistic film & have no idea why it is seen as a comedy slasher.
I don’t think there’s any point in complaining (‘Muum! How embarrassing!’) but I would think twice before another sleepover there.

Yip this ..

If they’d messaged on the night and said what they were going to watch, I would have raised concerns but I don’t think I would have gone and got her. She would have been mortified so I’d have sucked it up.

You just said if you’d of known about the choice of film beforehand you don’t think you would have gone and got her and you would have just sucked it up….. so you would of done nothing and let her watch it? So what do you hope to gain by speaking to the parents after the event?

Why is it misogynistic? And it’s also not a comedy and isn’t seen as one

Are you sure your DD hasn't watched worse already, given she wasn't bothered by it?

I think kids will always try to watch this kind of stuff illicitly, but it's very wrong for parents to sanction it!
I think you should say something to the parents, but the likely outcome is that DD doesn't get invites to that house in the future.

Please don’t make your daughter be That Kid. 🫣

I watched loads of horror films at the age and no lasting damage, wouldn’t bother me.

Me and my friends watched loads of horror films around that age but parents didn’t know. I’d be annoyed if a parent knowingly put an 18 film on for my underage child to watch.