Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was DP being unreasonable?

16 replies

autumnalgal · 22/11/2025 23:17

Since our DD was born 8 weeks ago, MIL has been an absolute nightmare. Breaking boundaries, very overbearing and overstepping constantly. She claims she’s just excited about her first grandchild, but she admitted in my pregnancy that she always wanted her own daughter and was devastated she never had one. Her husband and closest friend has warned her to calm down and warned her that she’s behaving as though my DD is hers.

For more context, you can read some previous threads.

Anyway, the relationship between myself and her is still civilised and respectful, but not what it was before DD was born.

We invited them over to visit this evening and usually do this every fortnight. This time, their other son visited too. He and I get on well. As soon as she came in, she immediately asked whether they could all have a photo together (including DD) but not including me. DP questioned why I wasn’t included and refused. She said, “Oh, ok” and no longer tried to get this photo and never mentioned it again.

Not sure how I feel about it to be honest, I already feel so drained by her. DP mentioned she was being unreasonable not to include me as though I am not family.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Glube · 22/11/2025 23:19

? He sounds supportive of you, not unreasonable towards you

Praying4Peace · 22/11/2025 23:21

R u perhaps being a bit over sensitive OP?

Foxybyname · 22/11/2025 23:22

Come on OP, are you saying that every photo taken of you as a baby / child also had your Mum in it?

OneWiseAmberOP · 22/11/2025 23:28

I read your previous posts.

You act pretty immature for someone who already has an 18yr old. The man is free loading of you and not paying his way, why do you care that his mother got him a father's day gift?? It's not 'your job' at all.

I wouldnt care if she wanted a picture with her blood relatives. She obv things you wont last and doesn't want you in the pictures. You shouldn't want to be in them tbh, he's not going to change.

Pollqueen · 22/11/2025 23:50

I can't see a problem with wanting a photo without you in it. You need to learn to pick your battles or you will be in for a long, rough ride

Poppyseeds79 · 22/11/2025 23:50

His Mum sounds fine to be honest, she's just excited about the baby. You should have a word with her though and explain her freeloading son needs to pull his finger out and ensure he's paying his way for her Dgd though 😒

PatThePenguin · 22/11/2025 23:55

Why can't she have a photo of her blood relatives/side of the family?

I mean it would've been polite if she'd also asked for one with you too, but there's nothing wrong with her wanting that particular photo per se.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 22/11/2025 23:59

Sorry OP, I couldn’t get worked up over this one… She wants a photo with her blood relatives and I can understand that

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 23/11/2025 00:01

How is he being unreasonable?

He agreed that his mother was unreasonable.

What did you want him to say?

WallaceinAnderland · 23/11/2025 00:08

He wasn't unreasonable because he was supporting you. He knew that you would feel left out.

But for a bit of perspective. My DH's family requested a photo of their first grandchild (my dd) without me. I was in the room and actually I took the photo because it doesn't actually mean anything, it's just a photo.

Starandflowers · 23/11/2025 00:38

She wanted a picture of her grandchild and sons. I can’t think of why that would be an issue. If it was me I would be taking the picture.

Seems like a massive over reaction but if you are already sensitive I can see why you felt that way but not everything that is done or said is a criticism about you

PollyBell · 23/11/2025 00:42

Its no different in a mum, her mum and dad and baby having one

Totally normal no need for the added drama

Mama2many73 · 23/11/2025 01:32

Well i must be in a minority because i think its weird and downright rude to exclude the mother of your grandchild when she's in the room! As if she 'wasn't family', she bloody is, she produced that grandchild!
When blood lines and families come up i feel some/many MN are so insular with their 'they're not my family' comments.
In our families we accept everyone be they blood or not!
OP there are obviously others issues from the comments about your previous posts, that I've not looked at but in this case I think your DP really got that this request was just wrong and would be upsetting, so I'm glad he had your back this time!

Edited just looked at voting and realised I'm not in the minority, thankfully! I was going off the comments.

BreakingBroken · 23/11/2025 01:43

all she wanted was that side of the biological family, as others have said blood line.
i have photo's of my dd, myself and my mother is it rude to only want the women of the family and not include the boys or my father or my husband?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/11/2025 01:48

I think everyone I know has a 3/4 generations of X family photo.

Pryceosh1987 · 23/11/2025 03:06

Jealously.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page