Flying as an unaccompanied minor at age 7

[CrispyClo]

I’m posting on behalf of my sister as she is looking for some external views on the matter.

My niece is 7, birthday was in August. She started a new school in September, which closes for Christmas a week earlier than most state schools. There don’t seem to be a lot of options for childcare during that week as not many schools here close that early so there aren’t any holiday camps.
My sister has booked my niece onto a week long camp abroad for the week. The camp is well reviewed and offers a pick up service for children flying as an unaccompanied minor. My sister initially felt this was a good idea, and booked it.
Now she is having some concerns and is unsure it’s the right choice, mainly as she appreciates 7 is quite young and while the flight isn’t particularly long, they don’t actually have someone sat with them, just cabin crew checking in. She has admitted herself she was fine with it until other people seemed to think it was a reckless parenting choice. I think it will be fine, my sister and I flew as unaccompanied minors often as our dad lived abroad, we were a bit older (maybe 10 the first time) but managed it fine.

AIBU to think my niece will be fine? She’s looking forward to the camp and doesn’t seem phased by the thought of it.

'It's not as though you can get very far in an airport'
Except pretty much anywhere in the world 😆

Quite. These threads always have pile-ins of half-baked theories about boarding schools/socio-economic factors/UK v The World parenting models/I-did-it-and-look-at-me and so on.

Which is fine, obviously. But when it's all being cobbled together to explain why sending a 7 year old child alone, on a plane, to a week-long camp with complete strangers, it really seems that common sense is abandoned.

There's no need for panic-stricken catastrophising either. For me, the question would be whether there was a reasonable risk that these adult-laid plans, with their water-tight checks and careful reading of safety measures, and so on, still carry a risk of harm to a very young child. For me, there is that risk of harm, in the various forms that it can take. And therefore, no. I wouldn't do it.

Take risks yourself, take risks with belongings and careers, and high risk sports and whatever. Ushering a 7 year old through departures for a week with complete strangers, because 'they want to do it!' isn't the right way to prove your parenting model is the right one. Imo.

No, not on her own.

You’re talking rubbish. Don’t try and make out that by not being allowed to travel and holiday abroad at the age of 7, without a family member, is either a parental shortcoming or neglect. Ridiculous.

It happened a few times Hasn't affected my life in anyway.

Unfortunately there can be bad people everywhere. No matter how much ," protecting," you do then things can slip through the net.

I wonder how we others who didn’t do that still managed to travel confidently?

Not everyone can. I'm on an awful lot of travel sites and the amount of people that are terrified of the most basic travel stuff is unbelievable.

I would have definitely been full of enthusiasm for a trip like this when I was 7 years old. I would have happily gone along with anything that my parents suggested was fun, because I trusted them and I loved outdoor activities and had a strong sense of adventure. I would have been your DN/DC saying yes, I really want to do this exciting thing.

But did I have a single clue about the world? Nope. Could I even have imagined a scenario where I wasn't safe and okay? No. Did I have the wit and presence of mind to make sensible decisions if things started to go wrong? Not really. Was it possible that I had completely underestimated my ability to travel alone and spend a week with strangers? Definitely.

I would be careful not to be swayed by a child's keenness to do a fun thing. This little girl is trusting the adults in her life to make sensible decisions for her.

I agree. My DD at five went away for a week with three generations of a family she had known since she was born, including a child who had lived with us for a while. They were staying in a cottage about 45 minutes away from where we live. We talked to her about going, and I didn't doubt that she would be fine - and she was, until we went for dinner at the cottage one evening and she was quite upset when we left. So my judgement was at fault in not anticipating that seeing us would upset her. Imagine the myriad possibilities in the proposed trip of this poor seven-year old.

If the child refuses to board the plane, they will be returned to the parent who is waiting in the airport until the flight's departure, the parent waiting until departure was explained in earlier posts.

Child being slightly upset at a camp can happen and good camp leaders, potentially together with parents on the phone, can support them.
In my experience, even when the pickup is an easy option it comes to it only very rarely.

True. You shouldn't give up on protecting children though, just because you can't stop it completely.

Children are often very eager to please their parents too. When I went to boarding school I knew my parents thought it was going to be very good for me and a wonderful opportunity. I was determined not to fail in their eyes and did all I could to hide my unhappiness from them.

A young child saying they want to do something may be saying what they think the parent wants to hear.

Also, whilst independence is a wonderful thing to foster in our children there's plenty of time past 7 for that!

There is risk in everything. I don’t think there’s anything particularly high risk in the plan - it’s probably the unfamiliarity of the scenario that makes it feel high risk.

I think the much more realistic question is: is the child likely to be happy, and if they aren’t what options are there? I think 7 is too young and the whole adventure too daunting to be able to rely on even an intrepid and resilient child to manage confidently and happily.

Rich people are perfectly capable of neglect. They just don't get done for it because they have lawyers.

I read and understood about the parents staying in the airport until the child is on the plane, yes…I suppose my concern was more about the fact that the child is being sent to another country because there is no suitable childcare available at home. So, if they cry and refuse to board and are subsequently returned to parents, what then? The parents have presumably shelled out a small fortune on this plan. They will lose that unless the child boards to plane. So, if the child is too upset is there a plan B? Can they say “never mind we’ll try again next year” or will the seven year old be calmed down and then guilted or pressured to go through with it anyway because there’s no other childcare options available and a lot of money has been spent.

Protecting is fine. Wrapping in cotton wool and restricting life on the other hand isn't. It's finding the balance

I think your sister is being incredibly unreasonable. What sort of parent would seriously consider sending a SEVEN year old overseas for a week on their own, let alone expecting them to do the journey unaccompanied. I feel really sorry for the poor child.

I take on the 7 is too young for the flight as an unaccompanied minor but I’m shocked by the surprise as 7 year old could spend a week at a camp? They have boarding schools for 7 year olds?!

Boarding schools for 7 years old are few and far between and require an in-country guardian, if the parents are overseas. I think you'll also find that most people would say this is too young to send a child away to school. Your sister is planning to send her daughter overseas, with no in-country guardian. Many kids, as young as 7 spend time at camps but they are day-time camps, coming home in the evenings.

I can't believe your sister could not have found a suitable Christmas holiday camp or child care for her daughter - clearly money is no object.

Oh and by the way - I've seen the unaccompanied minors areas at airports, with only one member of staff supervising several children, certainly not 1:1 care. They may well get escorted to the plane but cast your mind back to the last flight you were on...the cabin crew work non-stop and simply haven't the time to stop and say anything more than 'You ok?'. The children are "unaccompanied", not "cared for". Used to have 3 girls in my class at school who flew home "unaccompanied" for school holidays but they were 11+ and there would be a whole crowd of them going back to HK, Abu Dabi etc so it was a bit of a social thing, meeting up with siblings and friends.

Why would you need or expect 1:1 care Especially on an hour long flight? By the time you've taken off, been fed you are then preparing for landing

Worst flight I ever had was an hour and ten mins (actually coming back from Switzerland of all places). Non stop turbulence from beginning to end. Plane literally shaking and rattling the whole time. Seat belt signs never went off the entire journey, no tea or coffees (flight staff remained seated). I was a wreck at the end of it.

I would say her parenting style is very different to anyone I know.

Rich people really will do anything to not look after their own kids won't they.

I’m usually on more relaxed side as an older person with a teen but 7 is too young. I helped at a brownie sleepover and 7 is very little they needed lots of tlc and prompts.

Omg , at 7. There is zero chance !

Better to get an agency nanny for the week.